<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Choose Me (Reddie) by Arisha_Ansari_463</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23823370">Choose Me (Reddie)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisha_Ansari_463/pseuds/Arisha_Ansari_463'>Arisha_Ansari_463</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gay Male Character, M/M, Pansexual Character, Reddie, Stenbrough, benverly - Freeform, stichie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23823370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisha_Ansari_463/pseuds/Arisha_Ansari_463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After that day in the Neibolt House Richie felt as if his life had ended. Seeing his best friend of almost thirty years lying lifeless in his arms had killed him. When all the Losers ran from the house a part of them was left behind in the wreckage. A part that they thought would never come back.</p><p>Eddie Kaspbrack, struggling with asthma and god knows what billion other issues never knew that his life will come to an abrupt stop when his past will reveal it self again. He never knew that he would lose his friends that he had reconnected with only a few days ago. He never knew that when he kissed Myra goodbye on his doorstep that was the last he will ever see of her. Almost last though.</p><p>They say that your fears build you and then break you and then build you again. Death changes you either for better or for worse. You never know that for sure. But dead don't come back from the living that is what everyone knows.</p><p>The Losers Club will never be the same again. With a threat on the inside, when they assumed that troubles had ceased they came back in a diffrent form. A form that will stricken the Losers. A form that only fate will decide the course of.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh/Tom Rogan, Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Ben Hanscom/Eddie Kaspbrak/Beverly Marsh/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Myra Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Reddie</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Eddie would have hated this...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So here's the first chapter.</p><p>I am trying to explain the emotions as much as I can without overdoing it. If you think it's too much please tell me I will try to edit it in the later chapters.</p><p>This book is going to go slow in case of Reddie romance since I don't believe that it is so easy to come out to your best friend and tell them that you have been in love with them for so long.</p><p>Both my sister and I are writing this book. I am writing the chapters and she is editing it while adding some necessary elements to it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>      </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>All Of The Starts by Ed Sheeran</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>----------------------------------------------- </p><p>
  <em> <b>2nd June 2016</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"</em> <em>Honey, he's dead....."</em></p><p> </p><p>Those three dreadful words kept swimming in Richie's head like a broken record, as he and the other Losers, at least what was left of them, stood near the edge of the quarry, looking at the greenish water below them. Richie still hadn't uttered a single word since the Neibolt house had caved in on itself, burying his best friend under tons of rubble. There was a faint constant buzzing in Richie's ear.</p><p> </p><p>All the losers were still looking down at the quarry and then slowly Beverly stepped forward while discarding her shoes and socks. Suddenly in a blink of an eye she had jumped into the water below, just like she had done twenty-seven years ago. Slowly but surely one by one each of them discarded their shoes and socks, too jumped behind her. The splashing of the water when Ben jumped in right after Beverly, had pulled Richie out of his own personal hell. Eddie's laugh and his voice was playing in his head which was slowly driving him to his breaking point.</p><p> </p><p>All of them were trying to wash themselves of the dirt and blood a little away from each other. Beverly was slowly scrubbing her wrist to get the blood out,Ben was perched on a slightly raised rock near Beverly, Bill had submerged himself completely under water to get rid of the dust in his hair, Mike splashed water on his face, while rubbing it and as for Richie, he slowly took his glasses off and submerged them in water trying to get rid of Eddie's blood on his lens. It was truly a heartbreaking sight. All of their faces were pained and sombre.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what, Eddie would have hated this guys." Ben said suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Cleaning ourselves with dirty water." Said Bill, while smiling slightly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Ben said while laughing a little.</p><p> </p><p>"He'd be saying that we will get streptococcus or something." Beverley said fondly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, but he would have made us laugh though." Mike agreed while looking up at his friends.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh yeah." Beverley agreed.</p><p> </p><p>"He'd be looking out for us. The way he always has." Bill continued...</p><p> </p><p>All the rest of the losers nodded sadly while looking at the water. Richie's heart was literally collapsing in his chest. At that moment he felt that dying would be easier than bearing the pain of losing his best friend. All those words spoken by the others were getting too much for him. Memories of Eddie hit him with full force. Fighting over the time limit of the hammock. All the 'I fucked your mom' jokes that drove Eddie mental. Eddie flinging Richie's glasses with his foot. Eating ice cream together. Their long bicycle rides. Calling him 'Eds' even though he told Richie that he hated it. Pulling his cheeks to annoy him. Fighting IT the first time. They all just wouldn't stop.</p><p> </p><p>"You alright there Richie?" Bill said while glancing towards Richie's direction.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the dam on Richie's emotion broke and tears sprung in his eyes. He hid his face in his hand and sobbed loudly. His heart was breaking with each breath he took without Eddie's presence. All the losers looked at him sadly and swam towards him to engulf him in a tight hug. Richie rested his head on Bill's head while sobs wreaked havoc over him. Tears glisten in the rest of their eyes as heaviness of Eddie's death settled on them. All of them clutched each other tightly to provide comfort to their grieving selves.</p><p> </p><p>"Ummm. I don't have my glasses so I don't know who you people are but thank you." Richie muttered making Beverly laughed a little.</p><p> </p><p>"Now I really can't find my glasses." Richie said sounding slightly concerned.</p><p> </p><p>"Really Richie now?" Beverley said while smiling a little.</p><p> </p><p>Soon all of them had their heads under the water looking for Richie's glasses leaving him alone above the water. He looked down at the water with a sad smile and tears in his lashes. When they found Richie's glasses, he slowly put them on. All of them climbed out of the water and went to collect their socks and shoes. They all agreed to have a proper funeral for their friend. After that not even a single word was uttered on the whole walk back to their hotel. Just a few hours ago even though they fighting for their lives with the clown, although they terrified out of their minds, Eddie was alive and breathing and alongside them, fighting for himself and his friends.</p><p> </p><p>All five of them left wet tracks on the road. The setting sun chilling them to their bones. They embraced the chill in their bones as a better ache than the one in their heart due to the lost of not only Eddie but also Stanley. They had lost two of their friends and no one could replace their place in all of their heart. All of them wanted to get out of Derry as soon as possible. They couldn't bare to stay here more than they needed to, but leaving without a proper goodbye to the place where it all started seemed like dishonouring their friends memory.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they had reached their hotel they were almost completely dried. All of them walked into their respected hotel rooms completely exhausted. Richie stepped into the shower after peeling of his soiled clothes. He left them in a pile near the door and grabbed a clean towel. All of them were going to arrange for a small funeral with only the five of them. Richie wanted to call Eddie's wife, Myra to tell her about her husband's death. He unfortunately didn't have her number and Eddie's phone was with him under the pile of rubble. Richie knew that even if he had the means to call her he won't be able to. It was too painful to acknowledge his death.</p><p> </p><p>Richie never got to tell Eddie the truth. He wanted to, but he was always worried about the repercussions. He didn't want anyone to hate him. But right now he realised that he just didn't want Eddie to hate him. The one thing that Richie knew for sure right now was this that not telling Eddie about his true feelings towards him will remain the greatest regret of his life. That thought alone was killing him. His phone was still ringing and beeping of the rockets with his team who wanted to fix his next show or discuss his content. Richie couldn't bring himself to pick it up. He didn't know how will he ever be able to go back to his stand up comedy after Eddie. He felt as if his funny had been crushed to dust by Pennywise. A part of Richie had died along with Eddie in that God forsaken house.</p><p> </p><p>Richie rested his forehead against the cool shower wall and silent tears streamed down his face. After sobbing for a little while he turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around his waist as he stepped out of the bathroom. It was cold as shit in the town house today. He pulled on soft grey coloured sweatpants and a white shirt. He felt the warmth of the fabric like a soothing hug. He was exhausted both emotionally and mentally. He slowly climbed into the bed and pulled the covers around him. He was facing the wall when another round of grief hit him and tears rolled down from the corner of his eyes, dampening the pillow a little. Richie didn't know when he fell asleep, but his mind had soon receded into a drunken and tired haze.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly, after showering and wearing clean clothes, went and knocked on Richie's door. It was barely six in the evening, so she thought that all of them could at least eat something. Ben and Mike where still showering and Bill was now sitting in Beverly's room where she had told him to stay till she gets the others too. Richie did not open the door. She knocked a little louder and there was still no response. She gently turned the knob of the door, surprised to find it unlocked. She stepped in slowly. On the far side of the room Richie was sleeping under the covers. She padded towards him to check on him. After she was satisfied she stepped out, gently closed the door and went back to her room. By now all the others were sitting in her room. Ben and Bill were sitting on her bed and Mike was occupying one of the chairs in the room. The three of them were sitting silently with there gazes fixed on nothing in general.</p><p> </p><p>"Guys I just checked up on Richie. He is fast asleep. I thought to wake him up to at least eat something but he looks exhausted to I let him sleep." Bev informed the others, while taking a seat on the chair beside Mike.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah it's probably for the best. So what are we going to do now?" Bill said without any hesitation. When they were younger usually Bill was the one to take lead and make a suggestion. It didn't look like much had changed. The others knew where this was going to go. But Ben had beaten them to it.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't want to stay here for longer than I have to. But we can't leave without giving them a proper goodbye. So let's arrange for a funeral for them. A small one, only the five of us. We will later try to inform Eddie's wife." Ben choked up a little on Eddie's name, but he was right. They had decided to have a small funeral in the town house's lobby tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="eo2As">
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <b><em>*******</em> </b><br/>
<b> <span class="u"></span></b>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier is very much gay...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emotions are running high in the Losers Club. A huge secret is revealed at the funeral.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This one is a really emotional chapter. Grab tissue paper or a box. It's probably needed.</p><p>******</p><p>Well the chapters are sort of getting longer. Just wanted to remind people again that this book will not be having Richie and Eddie together anytime soon.</p><p>They will be seen in sort of a romantic scene but now like together in anyways. I have a lot planned for this book and I don't want to rush into it.</p><p>Edited and made more SENSIBLE by my sister</p><p>Keep reading for more of our boiss</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Forest Fire by Brighton</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>------------------------------------------------</em>
</p><p>
  <b><em>3rd June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie woke up to gentle knocks on his door. He slowly got out of the bed to open the door. He had tossed and turned the entire night due to restless sleep and reliving Eddie's death over and over again. His unsatisfying sleep was evident, his hair were stuck up in various random direction and his eyes were also slightly swollen. All the other Losers were standing outside the door. What was strange that they were all dressed in black clothes. Richie was still a little incoherent and he was rubbing sleep out of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey guys. What are you all doing here so early?" Richie mumbled out while yawning a little.</p><p> </p><p>"It's ten in the morning Richie. Last night we thought t-that we can have a f-f-funeral for E-e-d-die and S-st-an in the lobby." Bill stuttered out. It was strange for him to start stuttering again. After years of not having to stutter, it had raised unwanted memories. Richie sucked in a sharp inhale through his teeth. Funeral made it even more real and unable to avoid.</p><p> </p><p>"We thought that we can wish them a proper goodbye before we leave. After all this is where we all met. It won't be too much, just the five of us and we will do it in the lobby." Mike said while trying to hold a steady voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Umm yeah sure. Just give me sometime to get dressed I will be down there soon." Richie spoke in a low voice. The others nodded slightly and started heading towards the staircase. Richie shut the door after they left. And let out a shaky breath as he sat down on the bed. He knew he will have to man the fuck up and say goodbye. He walked towards his suitcase and pulled out a black shirt and jeans. He never thought that the pair of clothes that he random had thrown in his suitcase, he would have to wear them at a funeral that too of his best friends. He slowly pulled on his clothes, zipped up his suitcase and grabbed his phone and keys to his car and the room. It's still Derry, people here do steal.</p><p> </p><p>He walked down the stairs to see all the others sitting on the couches near the back. He sat down between Bev and Mike. Bev gently put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. When Richie came and sat down everything was silent for some time and then slowly Bill got up. He stood in the middle of the room, in front of all of them. Bill did not want to stutter while talking about his friends, but he knew it was inevitable.He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and took a deep breath in before he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>"I had known E-e-ddie longest out of all of us. We always h-hung out with each other at the Barrens. It was a s-safe place to us, to all of us. I remember knowing him because we w-were in the same class, as usual Henry was poking fun at Eddie who was quietly sitting near the playground all alone and eating out of his lunch box. Eddie was doing a good job at ignoring Bowers till he knocked his lunch of his lap and calling him horrible names. Eddie had started crying while looking at his lunch and I became friends with him. He was so loving and careful. His need of carrying his fanny packs saved me so many times. Stan wasn't much known to me till Richie introduced him to us. After that we always hung out together. It didn't matter that Bowers and his crew poked at us. When we were together it barely felt much. We were all each other's strength and I know that we still are."</p><p> </p><p>Bill couldn't control his tears much after that his shoulders shook as he sobbed. His words had already gone shaky at the end. He sat down on a chair near the others and cried. Tears were streaming down Bev's face. She sobbed lightly into her hand. Tears were running down freely from the four men. After a little while both Mike and Ben spoke about how they had met the others and how they never poked fun at them for their body or their skin. They had rightly said that they will never forgot the guys they had grown and fought along with. Both of those idiot would always be remembered. Emotions were running high in the small room that time. Tears were like a steady stream down each of their faces.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly then stood up to speak. She wiped her tears on a handkerchief that Ben had passed along to her. "I don't know what to say. I had known all of you the least. And you already said what needed to be said. It didn't matter that I was the only girl in the group or what anyone said about me. None of it mattered and you people were always there for me. The one thing that I know is, that it doesn't matter who isn't here anymore, because one day all of us won't be here. We always said that 'once a loser, always a loser', but there is no being losers without Eddie and Stan." Beverly had tears welling up in her eyes as Ben slowly got up and took her into his arms. She sobbed on his shoulder. His arms held her close to his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had only one thought going in his head 'I didn't even get to tell him the truth.' No one else knew too. It was getting very emotional and nothing was stopping it from getting even more. Richie didn't want to speak. He knew that the moment he opened his mouth, he will cry like a hormonal teenager all over again, but still he got up slowly and walked in the middle of the room. The others followed his slow sluggish movements. All of them had assumed that he won't be able to speak since he seemed to be hit the hardest by Eddie's death. Still all of them looked up at him tearfully waiting for him to start speaking.</p><p> </p><p>Richie cleared his throat before he started talking. "I- fuck, I don't know what the fuck do you guys want me to say. I am going to miss that son of a bitch, well both of them, especially Mrs. K I cannot just forget her." He barked out a small laugh while the others smiled at his usual antics. "I loved teasing Eddie spaghetti a lot. For some odd reason I loved infuriating him. I know he hated me calling him 'Ededs' because his dad used to call him that, but I just wanted to call him that just to see him get mad at me and throw a tantrum. His stupid fanny packs that I always made fun off made him Eddie. I am sure that without them he wouldn't be himself. I still have no fucking idea how he remembered his long series of pills and infections. Whether he needed them or not, he always had each an every possible medicine. You are right when you say that he always cared for us. He was always over the top, mother hen kind of conscious. It was his own way of showing that he cared about us. He always believed that he was a coward but I know he was one of the bravest. If he wasn't than he wouldn't have stepped into the water to save someone's life." Richie took a deep breath in he didn't know if he should continue talking. He wasn't sure if his friends would be there after he had came clean to them.</p><p> </p><p>"You fuckers always asked me what was I afraid of or what that dumb red nosed asshole showed me. I pretty much always lied or diverted it but I think I've hit this point where I guess I should just let all of that crap out..the reason why I talk so much might still not make sense..but I..I'm scared of being forgotten..alone more like. I'm scared of nobody liking me. That's why I'm trash mouthed I guess!" He said with a chuckle, "and yeah one more thing,I've got too many regrets but one of the biggest one is not telling Eddie,who in fact was my bestest friend better than ya'll at least. So guess I'm gonna just let it OUT! I'm gay..pretty much. And I spend my whole early years hating what I felt, being afraid of what I felt and on top of that Mr Orange head had to push my buttons..well then..my biggest fear had always been my 'sexuality' and losing everything I realised that hiding shit will just make it worse so yeah..RICHIE 'TRASHMOUTH' TOZIER IS VERY MUCH GAY! P.S. if yall say any shit bout it I'll knock your fucking teeth out..I swear I will!" Richie's heart was racing a million miles an hour, he didn't how they were all going to react. He had dried tear streaks in his face and was rubbing his eyes furious with the heel of his hand. They all surrounded him in a group hug to show him that it didn't matter and that they were always there for him.</p><p> </p><p>They all saw Richie in a new light. He was covering his insecurities by being loud mouthed and funny. They have all been scared and maybe they still will be but for now all of it didn't matter. The Losers still had each other.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"><em><strong>*******</strong> </em> </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Wish it was me instead..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The willingness to move on is bothering Richie and the other Losers are trying to get their lives in order.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Taking this note for a trigger warning for this chapter. There will be mentions of suicide. So if you feel triggered please avoid certain parts of the chapter. I will put up a (*) at the beginning and ending.</p><p>I hope all of you are enjoying this book so far.</p><p>As you can see there are certain facts that I have preferred to take form the movie instead of the book.</p><p>The fate of Audra Phillips is different than from the book.</p><p>I want to remind every one again that this book has certain facts from the book as well as from the movie.</p><p>I honestly don't like the ending of the book much and certain facts about it so I have chosen to use the movies information about the characters.</p><p>Anyways stay on for the next chapter things will be getting more interesting now....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p><b><em>Two of Us by</em></b> <b><em>Louis Tomlinson </em></b></p><p>
  <b>---------------------------------------------</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>
  <b><em>4th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie rolled back into his bed as he pressed his eyes shut. He gathered around some of the sheets and hugged them tightly as tears poured out of his eyes again. So many memories flashed through his head. Of Stanley and Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>The fact that now he would never get to trouble that little one again made him chuckle for a second but then all the missing came back.</p><p> </p><p>As he cried into his pillow a gasp escaped his lips as he was unable to keep quiet. He pressed his face harder into it, trying to quieten his sobs because he was sure that if he doesn't, Beverly, who was right next to him, would be able to hear him. Richie felt things he never thought he would with anyone until Eddie came along. Troubling, teasing and pissing Eddie off was Richie's <em>life.</em></p><p> </p><p>He grabbed his phone from the bedside which was a rose gold iPhone and started going through his contacts and halted when he saw Eddo spaghetto written. He tapped on it without even thinking for a second. He knew that nobody would answer but he couldn't help himself. The phone kept ringing and nobody answered until he heard a voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!! Sorry it took me so long to answer I'm kinda busy what's up??" Said that familiar voice of Eddie. Shocked out of his mind, Richie suddenly sat straight up.</p><p> </p><p>"H-hey?" He said as his voice cracked.</p><p> </p><p>"Haha you thought it was really me..well leave a message at the beep!" Continued the voice mail. He heard the beep and he didn't know what hit him but he suddenly started speaking.."Hey Ed..you mother fucker couldn't you just not try to save me. I really wish it was me instead. I woke up today a-and I thought it was all a dream. I thought about calling you but then I remembered. I promise I'll always keep you alive in my heart and for every moment. I'll live two fucking lives for us okay? I know that you won't get this but I feel so alone so guess I'm leaving this message for you. I love you and I swear I always did." He spoke. His voice broke a billion times and he couldn't even speak fluently.</p><p> </p><p>Richie threw his phone hard at the yellow cement wall and he heard glass shatter. He fell back on the pillow and shed some more tears until he was too tired to even blink. Richie felt an excruciating pain in his head as he almost yelled about the world being so fucked up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>(*)</em> </b>
</p><p>He took in deep breaths trying to calm himself down knowing that cursing out the world isn't going to make anything any better. He reached out for the shattered phone and looked at it with sorrow. At least tried to see it as he didn't have his glasses on.</p><p> </p><p>A glass piece poked him right in his palm. He felt it cutting in and it seemed to numb the pain in his heart for a millisecond. He pressed his hand around the shattered phone even more. He took in a sharp breath as shards of shattered screen pierced his skin and then he suddenly dropped it and sobbed into his hurt palm.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at a big piece of glass and held it in his hand glanced at his wrist and then shook the thought away quickly.</p><p>
  <b> <em>(*)</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Beverly had heard the crashing sound from Richie's room, on instincts she got up to check what was wrong but sat back down when Ben gently put his hand on her arm reminding her that it was her who had proposed that they give Richie some space to grieve since he seemed to be the one who was hit the hardest by Eddie's death. Concern was evident in her eyes. She just hoped that he doesn't do something stupid.</p><p> </p><p>It had been three days already since the world lost Eddie Kaspbrack and it already seemed so dull and dark. Richie felt that cloud of misery over his head ever since that second Beverly said <em>honey..he's dead.</em> Richie's mind flooded with all of his regrets, not coming out, not professing his love, not having the balls to....</p><p> </p><p>He went to the bathroom to clean off the wounds on his palm. He opened the tap a little and called water poured all over his hand and he felt a slight pain followed by relief.</p><p> </p><p>"You couldn't do it Rich.." Said a voice maybe just in Richie's head.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at me Trashmouth! Look at what you did!" It scream this time. It was Eddie's voice</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked up stunned at the mirror. Behind him stood a figure. Eddie Kaspbrack he easily recognised. Blood was still pouring out of his mouth, his bandage on his cheek was dirty and also seeped of blood. His eyes were glazed with a dead look.</p><p> </p><p>"E-eddie.." Richie said as he felt the emotions gush in again even though he knew it was all just in his head.</p><p> </p><p>"You fucked up big time Tozier. Your stupid ass couldn't even save me." The dead Eddie exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>Richie immediately turned around and shook his head vigorously trying to get the man out of his head at which he was successful. Realisation finally struck him.</p><p> </p><p>He got his shit together and cleaned everything up, grabbed his car keys and a pocket knife. He left the hotel room and drove over to the kissing bridge. He thought about the initials he had carved there <b>R+E</b>.</p><p> </p><p>He walked over to the exact spot and looked at what he had dug in. It was a bold 'R', a crooked plus sign in the centre and a very delicately and almost invisible 'E'. He took out the knife from his pocket and scratched the 'E' popery making it more prominent. He felt a wave of confidence pass through him as one of his old memories came into his mind.</p><p> </p><p>*****<br/>
<em>Richie cycled over to the bridge after hanging out with the Losers for almost all day. He sat at a spot and looked at the knife in his hand.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He thought about all the things the boys did that day and had Eddie stuck in his mind. He was still so unsure of what he actually felt..just not ready to accept anything. What he felt for the boy was real and just the thought made him so happy and sometimes even smitten but he'd always shake it off.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He immediately turned around and looked at the empty space on the bridge. He opened up the knife and involuntarily started carving an 'R' then a plus and then he stopped for a second and looked behind. Afraid that somebody would see him, afraid that people will find out and call him names..</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He turned back and very slowly afraid and quietly carved an almost invisible 'E'. Throughout the processed he glanced behind again and again as sweat dripped down his fore head.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He knew he liked Eddie..maybe even loved him deep inside but he knew he never wanted to accept it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>******</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie laughed at his younger and more insecure self. After he was done he looked at it smiled. He was happy to finally be who he was. Tears trickled down his face of both happiness and sorrow. He was sure about himself after all these years. For once he wasn't scared of his feelings. Finally he felt as if he could breathe again. After all this years he could finally breathe freely.</p><p> </p><p>All the losers were still stricken with sadness but one thing was sure. Now they will start a new phase of their lives.a better phase. Away from all their toxic relations.</p><p> </p><p>Ben Hanscom still looked at Beverly Marsh the same way as he did twenty-seven years ago. He offered Beverly an out from this whole nightmare. Her nightmare of a husband. She had finally come clean about him to Ben. It felt good to talk about it. She had realised that she had married her father in form of Tom a long time ago, but accepting the same fact required a strength that she had now found. If she could defeat the clown she could definitely escape her chaotic life. For now she was going to Nebraska with the man who was in love with her since they were kids. She was going away from her nightmare with Ben. Finally she would be free.</p><p> </p><p>Bill Denbrough sat on his bed clutching this phone tightly. His finger hovered over his wife's contacts. He wanted to call Audra and tell her that he was alright and that he was coming back home. Back to her, back to his life, back to his job. He wanted to call her and tell her that everything was going to be okay and that they could finally have everything they dreamed of, a family, because now his mind was free. So he did. He did call her. After a lot of tears and curses, Audra had calmed down and told him a tearful yes and that she is waiting for him to come back. There was nothing blocking him for having what he and Audra always dreamed of. A family.</p><p> </p><p>Mike Hanlon finally had nothing tying him to the god forsaken town to Derry, Maine. He would finally begin his life away from the toxins of this town. A new life, a better one. A more calmer and without any thoughts of the dead. Thoughts of IT. Thoughts of Pennywise. But the one thing he wouldn't forget would be the sacrifice. The sacrifice of Eddie Kaspbrak who threw himself in from of danger to save his best friend. The sacrifice of Stanley Uris, who gave up his life because he knew that now he wasn't brave enough to help them out. But he was so wrong he was the bravest. He choose his own fate to save them all. Finally Mike would be able to pay his respect to Stan.</p><p> </p><p>Finally all the Losers will begin a new life a better one. A safer one and a more meaningful life, where they will always remember the sacrifice of their friends.</p><p> </p><p>Finally.......</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>*********</strong> </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. You couldn't even save me..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nightmares haunted Richie and even his glasses were now becoming a part of them too. Richie's normal life is slowly getting harder.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So that's an another chapter here now.</p><p>So this chapter was written by my sister XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO and edited by me.</p><p>Thoughts about the story till now...</p><p>So guys I am sorry for this update. My online classes and projects have began. </p><p>They are taking a lot of time. So I would I have to back away on the promise of uploading one chapter every three days to one chapter per week.</p><p>I am so sorry for this....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Dream by Bishop Briggs</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>---------------------------------------------------</em>
</p><p>
  <b><em>4th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>As his eyes got heavier and heavier he felt a force pull him down. In spite of being on the brink of tiredness, Richie was still not able to rest his mind and go to sleep. His hands felt numb and his face was sweaty. He was continuously getting up and going to the bathroom to wash his face in the sink to get rid of the sweat. He also tried to take a hot shower to relax himself but none of it was working. It was as if sleep had escaped him entirely.</p><p> </p><p>Even sleeping had become an issue for Richie Tozier. Every shut eye took him back to the day at the Neibolt house. He finally had a hold over his tears, they had stopped pouring out randomly after all this time. But the stabbing pain was still there in the spaces of his heart. For his 'crush' and best friend who he knew was long gone now.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was already annoyed for having to change his position a million times. He was unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Usually he would be lying on his back and spread out like a starfish in his king size bed at home, but the recent events made that particular position highly unlikely. While lying in his back and closing his eyes he could see Eddie over him getting stabbed by the clown's claw over and over again like a broken record. He could hear Eddie's choked out voice muttering his name.</p><p> </p><p>This wasn't helping his guilt at all. It was all probably making it worse. He tried to curl up in a ball to sleep but that position was killing his back, so now he was lying on his stomach, with his right cheek pressed against the pillow. This position was going to give him another grief too but he didn't have much of a choice other than not sleeping at all.</p><p> </p><p>"Get your shit together Tozier, you can't keep letting them see you like this. Become normal, asshole. Otherwise they'll see it all." He'd say to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Talking to himself was classic Richie. He would talk to himself about hindered times a day. You could see him mumbling like a madman at any given time of the day. It helped him get rid of his nervousness. He always used this trick before performing on stage and before entering any situation which might include nerves.</p><p> </p><p>Like that day the Losers reunited. That first look at Eddie. He kept his cool for a few minutes. "He is so tiny still..haha I didn't even expect him to grow. Still a prick looking person too yet so fucking adorable. Fuck stop it Richie!" He had said to himself before announcing that the Losers Club had officially begun.</p><p> </p><p>As he drifted off to a restless and uncomfortable sleep while lying on the hotel bed and fell into a dream.</p><p> </p><p>*******<br/>
<em>He kept falling and falling </em><em>through</em><em> a dark </em><em>tunnel</em> <em>which</em><em> was </em><em>covered</em><em> with vines and had </em><em>sticky</em> walls. <em>It was narrow. Just wide enough for him. He was ready starting to feel trapped. </em><em>It was dark and cold on top of which his fall didn't help due to the wind.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>He fell on the cold hard floor. It was covered with </em><em>the</em><em> vines too and was sticky. He </em><em>heard</em><em> his glasses crush when he dropped</em><em> right on his face. </em><em>Everything</em><em> looked a little blurry to him and the darkness surrounding him made the </em><em>atmosphere</em><em> even more eerie.</em><em> He </em><em>tried</em> <em>to</em><em> feel around in the darkness but he had no luck. He </em><em>slowly</em> <em>pushed</em><em> himself on </em><em>his</em><em> feet and he </em><em>walked. He could hear the crunches of the vines and could feel their </em><em>dampness</em><em> under his foot too. </em></p><p> </p><p><em>The </em><em>vines</em><em> slowly started to </em><em>disappear</em><em>. With the vines </em><em>disappearing</em><em> you could now see the</em> <em>dirty greenish black water which made his bare </em><em>feet</em><em> itch.</em> <em>He felt an excruciating pain in his head and then a force </em><em>pushed</em><em> him face first on the </em><em>floor</em><em>.</em> <em>His whole front side got soggy and gross by that water. He got up and gagged slightly from disgust.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He put his broken glasses back on which now seemed to be magically fixed. He looked around and saw that familiar place. A place he had been dreading from the past twenty seven years.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was back at the Neibolt house, in the sewers precisely. The place where so many terrible and horrible things had happened. This place was filled with shitty memories and ghosts of the dead children. He noticed the spiky figure rise, right in the centre of the huge place, it was where they had killed that clown.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hey..anybody there? Mike,Bill..? BEVERLY! BEN!!" He yelled. His voice rang through the entire place.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>He heard the slight splash of water and turned around immediately.</em> <em> The sight of what was behind him angered him to no extant. Asshole was back.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That mother fucking clown!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>His red hair stuck over his white , huge egg like empty head and terrible outfit was on him as usual.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Dude..you need to get a new outfit or maybe a new haircut, this shit is getting really old." Richie said out of nowhere. His voice still shook from fear.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ohh Richie Rich! It's so good to meet you again! Came back to take revenge or did you get 'bored' that quick?" Asked the clown in his usual disturbing tone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Why the fuck would anyone come to you if they are bored dumbass?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Want to play truth or dare maybe? Or spin the bottle??" Asked that pom pom wearing creep.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"Or are you scared..what if they asked you something they shouldn't have, would you lie Trashmouth!?" Pennywise continued</em> <em> to taunt Richie, who was now slowly stepping back as the clown moved towards him.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>"What's your secret Richie? What are you scared of? Don't you love me?" Pennywise's voice started to change towards the end into a very familiar one. Shit that voice was going </em><em>to</em> <em>strike</em><em> home.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It was Eddie's, but the younger one. The one Richie had actually fallen in love with.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't you love me Richie?" Said the voice again which came out of the clown.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"E-eddie what the fuck?"</em> <em> Richie </em> <em>stuttered</em> <em> out.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The clown suddenly started transforming. First he shortened in height and then his head became smaller. In seconds Richie saw the younger version of Eddie Kaspbrack in front of him. The same small smile and stupid clothes on him made Richie smile.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Spaghetti?" Richie said as he stepped closer trying to reach for the young boy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>His own voice sounded younger.</em> <em>He looked at his hands,now smaller. He was thirteen again.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You are so stupid Trashmouth! You couldn't even save me. I died because of-" Eddie was cut of by his own scream.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A claw impaled him and blood poured out of his mouth..</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It's all your fault Richard. You couldn't even save me. I thought you loved me." Said the slowly dying Eddie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>He fell to the </em> <em>floor on</em> <em> his knees as he slightly floated on top of the shallow water. Richie keeled down next to him.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>"Eds I tried, </em> <em>I</em> <em> did try, really hard, but </em> <em>I</em> <em> was too late, I love you so much. I'm</em><br/>
<em>s-sorry. I'm sorry I didn't t-....tell you how I..felt. I'm sorry." He said quickly pressing his palm on young Eddie's soft face.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You are such a fucking fairy!" Exclaimed Eddie suddenly as he rose to the sky. Floated in it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"Eds..Ed tell me what to do?" His voice sounded hurt</em> <em>, broken and </em> <em>completely</em> <em> destroyed.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There was blood all over him..his clothes, hands, glasses.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Beep Beep Richie!" Said Pennywise's voice from Eddie's body which was now grey and covered with blood and dirt.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie felt something pull him behind again..just kept pulling him out of the house and.....</em>
</p><p>
  <em>*********</em>
</p><p>he was back on his bed.</p><p> </p><p>He snapped his eyes open. He rolled onto his side. He was covered in his own sweat and tears. He found it very hard to breath. He felt as if the walls were crushing down on him. His chest felt tight to him. He sat up and took in the warm, musty and stale air around him.</p><p> </p><p>He put his glasses on to see the time and all he could see we're blotches of blood and a bit of the grey wall in front.</p><p> </p><p>He quickly took them off and started rubbing it's lenses with the edge of his t-shirt. He put it back on and saw the same spots. He took it off again and this time just kept it aside. It was Eddie's blood that he kept seeing, it was probably just stuck in his head.</p><p> </p><p>He got up,washed his hands and face, changed into new clothes and tried to sleep again. This time his exhausted body and mind slipped into a restless slumber.</p><p> </p><p>***********next morning************</p><p> </p><p><em> <b>5th </b> </em> <em> <b>June</b> </em> <em> <b>, 2016</b> </em></p><p>Richie could still see the blotches of blood on his glasses. He kept on cleaning them but it was making no difference.</p><p> </p><p>"Rich! Stop." Exclaimed Bill when he noticed Richie cleaning his glasses in front of his eyes for the fourth time.</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Richie asked while looking confused.</p><p> </p><p>"Your glasses, they are already clean." He stated.</p><p> </p><p>"N-no, there's blood on it. Don't you see it??" Richie asked worriedly handing his glasses over to Bill.</p><p> </p><p>Bill grabbed it and put it on and his vision blurred but still he saw no sign of blood or even a speck of dust.</p><p> </p><p>"It's CLEAN!" Bill said again and shoved them back into Richie's hand.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm going and getting contact lenses.I keep seeing the blood, Eddie's b-blood." Richie replied staring at it in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>After a pause Bill gave up and replied,"Okay go ahead but just so you know it's not a good idea to get contacts here in Derry. Everything is five times worse here and besides is it really worth it Rich?"</p><p> </p><p>"I liked you better when you talked less and stuttered." Richie said while standing up to leave. He had to get the contacts right now before he actually want blind.</p><p> </p><p>Richie drove to the nearest eye clinic where he would be able to get is contacts. After about two hours of poking and prodding and a lot of 'are you allergic to...?' questions Richie was given his clear contact lens in a small box. He was shown the correct way of using them and Richie didn't waste any time before putting them in place. He adjusted to his clear contact lenses almost immediately. Finally relieved not to see blood and actually 'see'.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he couldn't keep seeing the blood like this. That one moment kept repeating in his mind. The claw impaling Eddie and his blood splattering all over Richie. He was stupid enough not to be able to save the man he loved so much and that man was stupid enough to sacrifice himself for an idiot like Richie Tozier.</p><p> </p><p>Richie finally made up his mind to try to get over it and stop feeling sad for himself. Or atleast stop the regular breakdowns and missing. Just step out of the guilt and regret which was making his head ache every second and leave Derry hoping to forget all of it over again just to relieve the hurt finally.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <b> <em> <span class="u">********</span> </em> </b>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Is Trashmouth still a virgin?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Losers go the Quarry for one last time. What they didn't know was a great surprise that was waiting for them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay so Eddie's back. Soon it will be revealed how was that possible.</p><p> Please remember this a work of fiction. I have used my own theory for this.</p><p> Btw this chapter was probably the longest I have written.</p><p>This chapter was written by my sister XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO and me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>This Is Home by Cavetown</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>-----------------------------</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>6th June, 2016</strong> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Do you all want go to the Quarry one last time, just for our memories sake, since I know we are never coming back here again?" Asked Mike as they were sipping coffee, after having breakfast at Jade Of The Orient. All their chattering stopped as they eagerly agreed.</p><p> </p><p>"Hell yeah!" Said Bill excitedly. The rest of the losers nodded there head in agreement.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly turned her head towards Richie and looked at him with a smile hoping to see one on him too at the prospect of going back to their childhood place but he was zoned out completely. She assumed the worst, that Richie was still thinking about Eddie and was feeling guilty about the fact that Eddie had thrown himself in the way to save Richie. But for now she was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Although Richie wasn't able to get much sleep last night during to his terrifying nightmare. He wasn't thinking about Eddie. Today he was quite actively not thinking about him. It was strange but it felt better to not think about his friend today.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was lost in his thoughts definitely but for the first time in three days his thoughts were not about Eddie. He had received a phone call earlier in the morning from his work asking him when was he going to come back. He had a shit ton of material to work on and shows to shoot. He was thinking about all the work he left back at home. It had finally struck him that he has another life instead of Derry, a life in which he is a successful comedian, it's not shitty at all, he is definitely happy with his career choice.</p><p> </p><p>"Rich!" Bev shook him violently by the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>"Huh?" Richie said while shaking his head a little to get out of his thoughts about work.</p><p> </p><p>"Quarry?" Bev questioned him.</p><p> </p><p>"What Quarry?" Asked Richie with a confused look on his face. He had no idea what everyone was discussing about while he had zoned out.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to go!?" Beverley question a little impatiently</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah..why not? Jeez women what's got you so tightened up. Didn't get laid in long ass time?" Richie said jokingly while looking straight at Bev.</p><p> </p><p>"Beep beep Richie!!" Said Ben while laughing hysterically along with the others. Beverley's face was completely flushed red in embarrassment and anger.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on Ben. Are you are not doing your job well? It's a man's task to see that his women is satisfied." Said Richie at which the others, expect Ben and Bev, who had now turned beat red, were soon howling with laughter.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up, Trashmouth. Guess you never changed." Ben said.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah Ben sure I didn't change. Someone's got to bring joy to this dull group. Besides I gotta live up to my legendary name. So when do we want to go?" Richie questioned at the end.</p><p> </p><p>All of them shook their head at Richie's usual silliness which, mind you, they were all starting to miss. It had always been Richie's task to make them laugh and cheer them up after something gloomy. Ben suggested for going right now since they had nothing better to do anyways. All of them stood up simultaneously after agreeing to go right now and headed to their rooms with an excited look on their faces.</p><p> </p><p>**********************************</p><p> </p><p>They were all standing near the edge of the quarry in clothes that were as close to as swimming clothes. As usual as if it was now a tradition Beverly jumped in first whilst letting out a loud 'woop' before she hit the surface. Soon all the Losers followed behind her and jumped in all the while shouting and screaming in delight like children.</p><p> </p><p>All of them had spent a good hour slashing around each other and even went as far as playing chicken. Beverley was seated on Richie's shoulder and was aggressive trying to knock Bill of Ben's shoulders, while Mike and Richie were howling with laughter when anyone of them seemed to topple over. Soon enough Beverly won when she poked her finger at Bill's tickle spot that made him lose his balance and topple over back first into the water.</p><p> </p><p>Ben pulled Beverly closer to him kissed her sweetly. Richie hooted while looking at the two and made very suggestive and lewd gestures.</p><p> </p><p>"So Bevy, whose clothes are those. They definitely don't look like yours...." Richie asked while raising an amused eyebrow at the now smiling women.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly shot him a dirty look and said while giggling a little, "They are Bill's. I am not going to let you perverts ogle at me like you all did back when we were kids." That indeed they were. She had borrowed one of Bill's shirt because she wasn't going to jump in the water with her undergarments like she had done when they were kids.</p><p> </p><p>Richie smirked in her direction and in one of this voices started exclaiming, "Ooooooo. The spicy love life of Beverly Marsh takes a new turn. While she hooks up with one of her childhood best friend, she takes comfort in her boyfriend of her youth's shirt. What is going to happen to this steamy love triangle. Will she be able to choose or not. Stay on to find out more about this crazy love story."</p><p> </p><p>"Beep fucking beep Rich." Said Beverly while the rest of them fell into another round of boisterous laughter.</p><p> </p><p>"Anyways he was the closest to my size whose clothes would fit me. Ben's to tall, Mike's too broad and Richie you are just plain disgusting. Who knows when have you washed your clothes last." Beverly explained while taking a dig at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"Ahh sure trying to insult me now are you ma'am. For your information I happen to wash my clothes just fine." Richie said.</p><p> </p><p>Ben then suddenly splashed a ton of water at Richie who screamed about his contacts. After that they were all splashing around in water again for a while till Richie stopped and took a deep breath before calling truce. All of them were scattered a little away from each other.<br/>
   </p><p>"So Rich do you have any romance in your sad old life?" Asked Bill while grinning like a Cheshire cat.</p><p> </p><p>"Sad old life my foot B-Bill!" Said Richie while mocking Bill.</p><p> </p><p>"So do u or not??" Beverly asked too.</p><p> </p><p>"Nah..I prefer being single." Richie said trying to sound casual and indifferent.</p><p> </p><p>"Is Trashmouth still a virgin?" Said Mike in a baby voice.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck! No! Do you really think I will be a virgin. I am too good of a lay to be a virgin." Richie clapped back.</p><p> </p><p>"So have you done it with a guy?" Ben asked.</p><p> </p><p>"None of your business assholes! Besides how does it even matter. Sex is sex, with a girl or a guy!" Richie replied .</p><p> </p><p>"So you have. Who was the unlucky one?" Asked Bev.</p><p> </p><p>"Really.Unlucky? I am a blessing Beverly Marsh..for men and women both so I suggest you to poke your little nose somewhere else, don't you have an ex to handle." Richie joked.</p><p> </p><p>"Ooooo......" Said Ben as all the Losers burst out laughing.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey guys should we get tattoos for Stan and Ed's. We could get 'Loser' written with a red 'v' on the 's' like Eddie had on his cast when he broke his arm and for Stan we can flying birds over the 'Losver'." Richie suddenly suggested. It wasn't a bad idea at all. It sounded like a great way commemorate their best friends.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah it doesn't sound so bad. But where will we get it done. We have to do it together so we can get them as similar looking as possible?" Bill asked after nodding along to Richie's idea.</p><p> </p><p>"We can get it done here. I am sure Derry has a place. We can get them done before we leave tomorrow." Beverly suggested. All of the others happily agreed to the idea since it was the only plausible plan. The others then went back to their own fun while Richie stayed behind imagining the tattoo.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck guys!! Why would you do that? If you wanna get tattoos that's great but here in Derry? Didn't get what a curse this town is still, that too after beating Pennywise twice. Do you wanna get infection from those needles who knows how many people they have touched. Derry has no sense of hygiene." Came a voice from their right.</p><p> </p><p>Richie's eyes widened. He looked around at the others who also had the same expression on their face.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck I am going crazy now too. I am hearing his voice." Richie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Rich, did you hear Eddie's voice just now?" Ben asked with a shocked expression.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah but I am pretty sure we are all going crazy." Just as Richie said that, a small rock hit his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>"What the hell Richie!! Five people can't all go crazy together. Want me to throw another rock at you to believe that I am actually here. Get out of the fucking water you all are going to get some disease from being in there."</p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit...is t-t-that E...Eddie." Mike stammered out while looking wide eyed at a spot a little far away from them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <b> <em> <span class="u">******</span> </em> </b>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I have been busy being dead-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After getting the biggest surprise of their lives. The Losers feel more complete but still the guilt is heart wrecking.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow this is probably the longest chapter till now.</p><p>So how was the plan of getting Eddie back.</p><p>I hope everyone enjoyed that part. I tried to make it as sensible as possible.</p><p>There are still some facts of it that will be uncovered later on.</p><p>For now enjoy this chapter.</p><p>This chapter was written my me and edited by XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I Like Me Better by Lauv</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>---------------------------------</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>6th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was standing there in blue jeans and a blue shirt with a red jacket on top, on a few rocks just a few away from the water. He waved at them slightly when they all turned towards him and started at him. Eddie rested his hand in his front pockets and smiled at them. Soon enough all of them scrambled out of the water. Richie was shook right to his core. He slowly stumbled out behind the others. His wet clothes weighing him down.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly almost ran towards him and hugged him tightly while he was letting out protests of getting his clothes wet but never the less he hugged her back just as tightly. Ben, Bill and Mike gave him a one armed side hug and started asking him a million questions all at once.</p><p> </p><p>"Aren't you supposed to be dead"</p><p> </p><p>"I thought you died?"</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck man?"</p><p> </p><p>"Eddie is that really you??"</p><p> </p><p>"The hell are you doing here?"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie's eyes were fixed on Richie who was still standing a little away with clothes dripping with water and his mouth dropped open.</p><p> </p><p>"You are going to catch flies, if you keep your mouth open like that, dickwad." Eddie said while smiling slightly at Richie. Just then as if he had broken out of some trance, Richie blinked his eyes rapidly and tackled Eddie into a bear hug. He buried his face into Eddie's neck while ignoring Eddie's complaining of how he is getting him wet all over again. Richie was too emotional to joke right now, so he let it go. He sobbed lightly into Eddie's neck, while clutching the smaller man tighter to himself.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah ok now stop crying Trashmouth. I know I am special and you missed me a lot. Now stop getting my clothes wet with dirty water. I just took a bath. I don't want to take one again. So, will you let me go now?" Eddie mumbled out while weakly patting Richie's back.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled back and wiped at his eyes in embarrassment and sniffled slightly. He was so shocked to see Eddie the man he loved so much alive.</p><p> </p><p>"So wait, how are you here? We saw you dying. What are you doing here?" Mike asked Eddie quickly since his thoughts didn't shut up.</p><p> </p><p>"Can we talk later. I just came back from the dead and I am starving. I looked around half of Derry to look for you assholes. Where the fuck were you all anyways?" Eddie asked</p><p> </p><p>"Jade of the Orient. Went to eat breakfast there. Where were you?" Answered Beverly while asking questions of her own.</p><p> </p><p>"I was looking for you guys. First I went to the hotel to take a bath and change clothes which thanks to all of you I will have to do again, then I went and asked the manager if he had seen you guys. He told me all of you left together, but he didn't know where, but it had been a while since you all left. Then I thought since it is morning you all must have gone for breakfast. So I went to the restaurant where the waitress told me you had left a long while ago. So I thought you went back to hotel but when I checked you were all not there. Then I thought you must be at the Barrens. When I checked there I saw none of you so again so I came here. Then I heard Richie's crazy idea. Now can we go and eat I am starving." Eddie huffed out as he spoke in his usual fast way.</p><p> </p><p>All of them nodded and collected their clothes and started walking back to the hotel and Mike offered to order take out since it was no point in going back and forth and Eddie happily agreed saying that since he has to take a bath now again, he can do that till the food comes. All of them started walking towards the hotel with multiple questions in their heads about Eddie being here.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was still looking as pale as a ghost when they had reached the Town House. All of Eddie's things were already shifted into Richie's room. When he had first come back he was not able to find his things anywhere and then when he went and opened each and everyone room he had found his things in Richie's room, arranged neatly in a corner. All of the others retreated th theory own rooms to shower to get the smell of the water of off them. Richie offered to wait for Eddie to take a shower first but Eddie just sighed Richie to the shower saying that he was the on diving into the water he will catch a cold if he sits in wet clothes. Richie smirked at Eddie and saluted him while saying "Ok Dr. K."</p><p> </p><p>Right after Richie left the bathroom dressed completely and rubbing his hair gently with a towel to get rid of the water, Eddie grabbed another set of dry clothes and stepped into the shower. He was blasted by the warm steam clouded in the bathroom. He quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped under the steam of hot water from the shower head. He felt strangely lightheaded as the hot water was gently hitting his hair. He rested his head against the cool tile wall. His head was throbbing with prickly pain. He wore the pain off as hunger. He hurried with his shower so that he wouldn't pass out in the shower and end up dying due to hitting his head on the tub.</p><p> </p><p>The moment Eddie disappeared inside the bathroom Richie picked up Eddie's phone that he had left on the bed. He opened Eddie's voicemails and to his luck, saw that he had not yet checked them. He quickly swiped his fingers and deleted the voicemail. Eddie can't know that Richie is in love with him. He kept the phone back on it's place and started tinkering with his suitcase.</p><p> </p><p>After showering and dressing up Eddie left the room clutching his wet towel in his right hand tightly. Eddie looked a little pale. Richie looked at him with concern in his eyes as he dropped the towel at the corner of the bed and sat down heavily on the bed while rubbing his temples.</p><p> </p><p>"You ok there Eddie Spaghetti? You look like you are about to pass out." Richie asked</p><p> </p><p>"Hmmm yeah, just hungry. My head is killing me though. I need my pills..I've missed a few cause OBVIOUSLY I've been busy being dead" Eddie answered.</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you take an Advil it will help with your headache. Food will be here soon anyways." Richie suggested.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes a little while answering, "Rich you can't take painkillers on an empty stomach they don't work at all then."</p><p> </p><p>Just as Eddie said that, the door to Richie's room opened and the smell of Chinese takeout flooded in the room along with the rest of them who were now dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts with damp hair. Mike was clutching the bag of takeout that he passed onto Eddie who looked like a starved kid. Eddie greedily grabbed the bag and took out the boxes. He grabbed the plastic fork in the bag and started eating. The others looked at him as he ate his food at top speed.</p><p> </p><p>"What? I am hungry. Try coming back to life after three days. You all are going to be starving." Eddie said when he paused to swallow the food in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>After he was done eating Beverly grabbed all the boxes and threw them in the trash can while Richie passed Eddie some Advil for the pain in his head. Mike looked at Eddie wondering if he should question him or not. Finally not being able to help himself he suddenly asked.</p><p> </p><p>"So what happened to you after we left?"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took deep gulp of his water and sighed before answering.</p><p> </p><p>"You are really not going to let this go. I know I get. But trust me even I don't know much or if I do, I can't remember. I wasn't dead yet when you guys left. My heartbeat was painfully slow. I could hear the crashing of the rocks on the floor. And before you all start to feel guilty you couldn't have saved me I would have died but so would all of you. I would have slowed you all down."</p><p> </p><p>All of them were looking at Eddie with guilt in their eyes. They were feeling responsible for his death all over again after three long days trying to live with the fact that they had left him in the sewers and Richie felt it more than the others cause it was his fault because of whom he died.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie smiled at them a little uneasily and carried on, "I remember seeing total darkness and then I saw the lights. Well the deadlights. They were coming towards me but I couldn't move. When they touched me I felt a burning sensation spread through my whole body. It wasn't much though. Like how hot water might feel. They went inside my body and then I felt as if someone was pulling me after that all I saw was darkness. Until this morning when I woke up in front of the sewers in the Barrens. After that you all know what happened. I already told you." He spoke in his usual quick way which was now very easily understood by all the Losers..</p><p> </p><p>After that he stopped and sipped a little water. Mike was deep in thought while the others looked shocked.</p><p> </p><p>"So the deadlights are in you. Like right this second. So it's like you never died." Ben asked looking at Eddie's chest where he was impaled by the clown claw. Richie quickly moved towards Eddie and seized the bottom of Eddie's shirt and yanked it up.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck man!!" Eddie cried out.</p><p> </p><p>Richie took in a sharp inhale when he saw the jagged scar. It was almost completely healed. It was still slightly pink. Whatever it was it looked really bad he felt very guilty looking at it. Eddie got that scar because he tried to save Richie. Eddie quickly yanked his shirt down and huffed out at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"You could have just asked. Didn't have to pull my shirt up like that." All the others hissed when they caught the glimpse of the ugly scar on Eddie's torso. It was still a little tender and whenever Eddie moved too quick a sharp pain travelled through the wound.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie yawned loudly and stretched up. His eyes were still a little droopy. It looked as if he was going to pass out right there.</p><p> </p><p>"Now I am really sleepy and exhausted. Can we talk later please. I need to sleep."</p><p> </p><p>All of the others nodded their heads and started leaving the room. Eddie removed his jacket and collapsed on one corner of the bed and pulled the blankets on him. Richie was still standing in shock that Eddie was sleeping in his bed. He didn't know what to do or how to react. As if Eddie read his mind he said, "Just get in dude. The bed is big enough for the both of us. It will be just like old times. You know like the sleepovers we used to have as kids."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Richie's throat had gone dry at that. As a kid he tried desperately to make sure he didn't pull Eddie to his chest or did something embarrassing in his sleep or maybe sleep talk his love out. For now he slowly climbed into the bed beside Eddie because he was too exhausted by today's events. Eddie had already dozed off and was letting out small snores. Richie rested his head on the pillow and was soon out like a light finally getting a sleep without any nightmares about the most precious person who he had just lost and now had back.</p>
</div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b> <em> <span class="u">******</span> </em> </b>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Trouble in paradise Eddie-bear?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All the Losers get together for a final dinner before leaving Derry for once and for all.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahhhh. This was mostly a filler chapter.</p><p>The later chapters will mostly contain Reddie now with glimpses of others lives too.</p><p>Guys please vote and comment.</p><p>This chapter was written and editted by me and my sister.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Idle Town by Conan Grey</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>--------------------------</p><p><em> <b>6th </b> </em> <em> <b>June</b> </em> <em> <b>, 2016</b> </em></p><p> </p><p>By the time Richie and Eddie woke up, the sun was already setting. They had skipped lunch since Eddie was too full and comfortable in the bed due to Richie's warmth beside him, unknowing to the fact that it was Richie's warmth lulling him back to his sleep. As for Richie, for the first time in four days he was sleeping properly without having strange dreams and restless sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie woke up with a loud yawn and stood up from the bed to stretch out a little. Eddie looked down at the disheveled sheets of the bed and saw Richie passed out between the white comforters. His cheek was pressed against the pillow and he was letting out small snores every now and then. A small smile grazed Eddie's lips as he looked at the sleeping form of his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>He felt great to be back. He didn't remember much of those three days during which he was unconscious, but one thing he knew for sure they he was dearly missed. He shook Richie awake since it was quite late and then he won't be able to sleep at night.</p><p> </p><p>"Rich! Richie, wake up. Come on. It's late. You have slept enough."</p><p> </p><p>Richie let out small grumbles and protests but finally woke by opening one lazy eye and seeing Eddie standing at the foot of his bed. After rolling around the bed for a good half an hour to just tease Eddie, Richie finally got out and got dressed. Ben knocked on the door to inform them of going for a early dinner since everyone was hungry and too exhausted to do anything.</p><p> </p><p>All of them got dressed rapidly since by now their stomachs were growling with hunger. After about forty minutes all of them met in the hotel lobby and started walking towards the Jade of the Orient since it wasn't too far from the town house. Mike had told them that he would just meet them there. Richie grumbled the whole way that even after coming back to Derry after twenty seven years there is only one good fucking restaurant which only serves Chinese.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh come on now. It doesn't matter. It's not like we are going to be living here. It's just a few days that's it." Bill said while laughing at Richie's complaints.</p><p> </p><p>"Whatever Big Bill. The moment I get back home I am going to order every cuisine possible other than Chinese, then I will have a party." Richie said while smiling at the others.</p><p> </p><p>Ben and Beverly trailed behind them a few steps, while talking about Ben's work. Apparently Beverly had heard of Ben.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was silently walking in front of them in deep thought. While everyone was excited to go back to their lives and homes, Eddie wasn't. Being back in Derry with his best friends, facing his horrors with Pennywise and dead for a while had made him realise that his life was too short to live inside a bubble wrapping . He didn't want to play safe all the time and miss out on his life. He wasn't fond of his house though he had selected it just around the time he and Myra got married.</p><p> </p><p>When he bought the house it was a modern furnish household. He loved it that way. It looked sleek, clean and modern. Myra didn't like it much at all. She had altogether hated the interior of the house. After guilt tripping Eddie she got the entire house furnished the way she wanted. Eddie never protested. He now thought that he should have. He didn't even like his job anymore. At first when he started out as a Risk Analyst he enjoyed it a lot, but soon that wore off even though he made good money. He just wasn't happy with his life in New York.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realise that they had reached the restaurant. He had almost walked past it but Ben called him just in time. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and entered the restaurant behind the others. He still felt a little tired. All of them took a seat a table and conversations picked up soon enough.</p><p> </p><p>"So what are all your plans now?" Asked Mike while closing the menu card in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>"Well I will be going back home to Audra. She has already called me more than ten times about it. I didn't tell her much before leaving, so she is worried sick now." Bill said</p><p> </p><p>"Wait does she know? You know..... about..... IT?" Asked Eddie looking wide eyed at Bill.</p><p> </p><p>Bill nervously scratched the back of his head and said, "Sort of. She doesn't know much detail but I told her before I left."</p><p> </p><p>"Damn Big Bill. She believed you. I am surprised. If I told Myra the reason why I came back here, she would have booked the first appointment with a psychiatrist and would have probably locked me in my own damn house." Eddie said while laughing.</p><p> </p><p>A frown came upon Richie's face as he heard Myra's name. He had almost ignored the fact that Eddie was married as much as he could. He knew he will never have a chance with Eddie, but having it flash in front of his eyes was just too painful. Richie was sitting right across the table from Eddie, beside Bill. Whenever he looked up he would get caught up in how different Eddie looked. He had grown so much more since he was kid yet the loveliest features still lingered, the big brown eyes, the small hands, the adorable face , and well that Eddie-ness.</p><p> </p><p>".....so I am taking Beverly away with me to Jenkins. Later on we will settle the deal with her prick of a husband." Ben said. Richie had spaced out but managed to catch the end of what Ben was saying. Beverly was leaning against Ben's arm slightly and was smiling at him. It was quite cute to be honest. Ben and Beverly were at least happy.</p><p> </p><p>Mike had planned to stay here for a while to figure things out with Eddie, so for now at least Eddie was still stuck in Derry.</p><p> </p><p>"What about you Trashmouth? You leaving?" Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Nah not yet. I don't need to be there for work for now. I am supposed to be doing scripts for the show. Well at least try to. I think I will stay hear and give our little Ed's here some company. I am sure he would die of boredom with dear ol' Mikey." Richie said. Such a liar, Tozier. His phone was getting slammed with multiple calls and texts and emails. But he didn't want to go back yet. He just got Eddie back.</p><p> </p><p>Every one nodded there head while laughing a little and carried on with their food that had just arrived. All of them were silently eating while making small talks and jokes when a buzzing sound interrupted the dinner. Eddie patted his pockets and pulled out his phone. He quickly glanced at his screen and sighed. He probably didn't notice but his phone was on speaker.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, hi honey." Eddie replied to the loud and scared voice that spoke through the phone, "Eddie-bear where are you? Are you fine?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ya I am fine-"</p><p> </p><p>"You haven't called me or texted me for four whole days sweetie..did you die of something!?" Myra exclaimed cutting Eddie off.</p><p> </p><p>Richie chuckled at the 'did you die or something' part cause well he did. The others too had a huge smile on their faces.</p><p> </p><p>"Myra honey, I didn't die okay! I'm fine I was just busy with all my friends, remember I told you about them, the ones I used to play with when I was younger." Eddie spoke quickly trying to calm his wife down.</p><p> </p><p>"The ones who made you play in the filthy sewers and gross water?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah.."</p><p> </p><p>Everybody glared at Eddie for stating that information to his wife.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm okay. Okay. I'll be back home in a couple of days don't worry about me honey, I am completely okay!!" He said trying harder as she continued complaining about something in a very quick voice.</p><p> </p><p>Finally the two shared their goodbyes and I love you's and Eddie switched off his phone with a click and an 'ugh' escaped his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"Trouble in paradise Eddie-bear?" Asked Richie with a huge grin on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck! Don't call me that. Dude, none of your business and no, not exactly. She is always like this." He responded.</p><p> </p><p>After that they all concluded with their food they went back to the hotel. Bill, Ben and Beverly were planning to leave the next morning so all of them retreated to their rooms to pack their bags, so that they won't have to rush around on the morning. Mike left to go back to his house and pull out some books to do some research on Eddie's sudden reincarnation thing.</p><p> </p><p>Richie and Eddie went back to Richie's room to go back to bed. Eddie was exhausted beyond belief. His movements slightly sluggish and he had a tired look on his face. He changed into his sleeping clothes and slept as soon as his head touched the pillow. Richie quickly changed and slipped in to the bed beside Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning each and every one of them was up bright and early. Mike had come to the town house to bid them goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>The three; Bill, Beverly and Ben were getting dressed to leave in their respected rooms and Eddie was busy organising his apparently disorganised suitcase that he was going on and on about while Richie sat on his bed responding to his mails next to Mike who stared at the computer seeing the bullshit that Richie was typing out.</p><p> </p><p>Soon all of them were ready to leave. Each of them had dragged there suitcases in the hotel lobby and were now standing with the others.<br/>
The good bye's sucked for each and every one of them as they didn't wanna part again. They were afraid that they might forget each other again like before or meet after twenty seven fucking years more.</p><p> </p><p>It got a little teary as the six had probably had the best and worst time of their lives with each other, that too shared trauma bonded them even more deeply. They weren't sure when would they see each other again. But Richie obviously wooshed up some jokes to chill the atmosphere as he spread his Richie-ness around.</p><p> </p><p>Goodbyes definitely were the worst, they all were so busy for the coming year, now God knows when would they meet AGAIN!?</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b> <em> <span class="u">*******</span> </em> </b>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Orange headed freak called Pussywise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Slowly slowly some things come to light and a new threat looms over......</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So thoughts on the chapter...?</p><p>I got so carried away while writting this I had to stop and split this chapter.</p><p> </p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>        </b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Get You The Moon by Kina ft Snøw</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>-------------------------------------</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b><em>6th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>After bidding farewell to their friends Richie, Eddie and Mike took a short drive to the library, since Mike was getting was getting restless about the whole coming back to life thing. The moment they entered the library, an overwhelming scent of old books slapped them in their faces.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow man, this place hasn't changed till now. It's still the same." Eddie numbered out.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude who do you live with? Spiders?" Richie asked while standing in front of a quite big spider web.</p><p> </p><p>"No asshole. Didn't have time to clean the place up. Wonder how your place looks like. Probably a dump." Mike retorted.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed at that and sat down on an old wooden chair near the long desk in the middle of the room. He picked up a book with yellowing pages. It was the history of their town and random folk tales along with some weird ancient looking shit. There was another book that had a lot of newspaper cuttings and notes in a familiar writing that he recognized as Mike's. He had put a lot of thought into it.</p><p> </p><p>All three poured over multiple books all throughout the day. Richie wasn't of much help since he found something or the other to joke about in the book. By lunchtime Eddie took the liberty of ordering takeout since all of them were too hungry to go all the way there and stop searching.</p><p> </p><p>By early evening number of takeout boxes were littered all across the tables with a whole bunch of books and empty beer bottles . Eddie was feeling hopeless. What Eddie was concerned about was that if he would turn into the clown as ridiculous as that sounded. Even though the others would not admit it, they all had thought about it once. He was scared. He didn't feel evil, but evil ones never feel that they are. He was almost sure that they won't be able to find anything when suddenly Mike called both of them to his side of the table.</p><p> </p><p>"Guys look. See. Here it says that the deadlights are a sort of a non living entity that was mostly IT's life force. It was a part of him." Mike said while pointing at a paragraph with quite small letters.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow dude so like are you going transform in to the orange headed freak called pussywise?" Richie said lightly, a flash of hurt crossed Eddie's face and he hung his head while fiddling with the pages of the book in front of him. Guess Richie beat everyone to the punch. He thought that it would hurt less if he had accepted it, but he was wrong. It hurt worse that his friends thought that. Even though it was inevitable.</p><p> </p><p>When Richie realised the effect of what he said he immediately felt guilty. He looked apologetical at Eddie. He walked towards him and hugged him close to himself and murmured, "Hey Ed's, I didn't mean it like that. I know you won't turn evil. I was just joking. I swear. The worst that could happen is the orange hair so chill Eddo.."</p><p> </p><p>He gently rubbed Eddie's back.<br/>
Mike looked sadly at Eddie and said, "You don't have to worry about that, see what I found." Mike looked down back at his book and continued, "It says here that the clown itself was evil that's why it did all those things. The deadlights are not a part of it at all. So Eddie you don't have to worry about it all. I don't think you will turn in to IT. You are good."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie let out a loud sigh of relief and chuckled nervously. After that they gathered all the mess they had made in the room. Eddie picked up all the takeout boxes littered over the table and the beer bottles. Richie shut the books and picked them and Mike put them in their rightful places. After cleaning the whole place up Eddie and Richie drove back to the town house in Richie's car. Eddie had a small smile on his face. He was relieved that he didn't have to worry about being evil.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude if you want to get another hotel room you will have to hurry. They might have closed the counters by now." Richie informed Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded his head. He stepped into the hotel lobby and inquired about the rooms. Unfortunately they didn't have any available since apparently some people had flown in from outside to film some stories about Derry so the rooms were already booked. Richie stepped into the lobby while tossing his car keys in the air and humming a random tune.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Rich, the rooms are all booked mind if I crash with you again tonight?" Eddie asked Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie froze at Eddie's request. He was already having a hard time sleeping beside Eddie. He was hoping that Eddie could get another room so Richie won't have to be careful all the time. Eddie was still looking hopefully at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie nodded his head and Eddie smiled at him and muttered a quite thank you and started walking up the steps towards their room. Richie followed Eddie up the steps into his room. His bed was still unmade and the rest of his things were still scattered all over the room. Eddie started picking up his things and started organizing all of Richie's things and started blabbering about how unorganised he is once again.</p><p> </p><p>Richie let him rant. He picked up his sleeping clothes and stepped into the bathroom. He leaned on his hands at the edge of the sink. He gently removed the contacts from his eyes. And splashed cold water on his face. He wiled his face down and put on his glasses. By the time he stepped out his room looked a lot better. Eddie was sitting in the edge of the bed with his towel, toiletries and clothes beside him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked up from his phone that was illuminating his face slightly. He gave a small smile to Richie who was standing near the bathroom door. Eddie kept his phone on the bedside table and gathered his necessities in his arms. He walked towards the bathroom door, laughed a little and said, "Rich are you going to move aside? I want to wash up. I can't really do that if you stand in front of the door."</p><p> </p><p>Richie flushed a little at Eddie's words and stepped aside quickly while nervously rubbing the back of this neck. He gave himself a small pep talk to behave and stop acting like an idiot.<br/>
Richie heard the shower turning on and after that he just diverted his thoughts to his work.</p><p> </p><p>A whole twenty minutes had passed when Eddie finally stepped back into the room in only dark grey sweatpants. Eddie seemed to have gained a lot of muscles from when they were younger.  He wasn't scrawny anymore nor too huge. He now had a lean figure with the muscles in just the right places.<br/>
Richie swallowed hard at the sight of the half naked man. He just then noticed the tattoos on his chest. The dark lines of the tattoos created a perfect contrast on his slightly tanned skin.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't help but have his mouth drop at that gorgeous man in front. Richie's eyes were fixed on Eddie's 'no dice' tattoo in the middle of his chest. He had two medium sized star tattoos of either of his collar bones. Eddie didn't even notice Richie's stare on him as he didn't bother. Why even would he? Richie really was just his best friend or well like a brother, not like he was interested in that one.</p><p> </p><p>Richie couldn't help himself. So many emotions hit him like a fucking bolder all at once. He kept on trying not to but what could he do, he did love Eddie ever since they were just stupid little teenagers with nowhere to go. He wanted to just exhale, spill the truth and just release all of those emotions but worry always took over him. What if Eddie gets grossed out? What if Eddie hates me and thinks I'm a creep!</p><p> </p><p>Richie cleared his throat to get rid of the quite scandalous images he had of Eddie now with tattoos that he was sure that if Eddie could see into Richie's mind, Eddie would probably run from Richie while being disgusted and probably slap Richie. He come up with another remark to distract himself from from his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude when the fuck did you become a weird ass teenager? What's up with the tattoos huh?"</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up Tozier it isn't a big deal, besides I think I have rights to do whatever the fuck I want and I don't wanna hear your opinions so I'm just gonna say it before hand- Beep fucking Beep Richie!" Eddie said while sounding slightly annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow okay..calm down Bruce Banner!" Richie chuckled. 'Why the fuck does he look even cuter when he is annoyed.." he said to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes and scoffed. He grabbed one of his shirts that he used as his pyjamas and then walked back into the bathroom. He walked towards his bag and kept all his belongings on their places and hung the towel on the peg behind the door after quickly getting dressed in the bathroom. Richie quickly shut his laptop and slipped inside the comforters. Eddie soon lay down in the bed beside him.</p><p> </p><p>"Richie are you going to switch of the lights or do you prefer to sleep with the lights blinding you?" Eddie muttered out while turning his head to look at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh um yeah. Can't sleep if it's still lights out." Richie said while tumbling over his words a little. Eddie let out a small giggle at his words and turned the other way before closing his eyes. Richie looked at Eddie's back in the dark and slowly settled in the bed.</p><p>***************<br/>
<b></b></p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>7th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie's sleep was hindered due to loud laboured breathing and a loud thud. Richie groaned about the noise and how his sleep is now destroyed. He opened one lazy eye to see the place where Eddie was supposed to be lying. The blankets were falling of the bed and Richie felt more blind than ever. He patted around to look for his glasses and quickly put them on. He could see a figure sitting on the floor beside the bed. God it was fucking three in the night</p><p> </p><p>"Eds did you get a too hot to handle dream, that you landed on the floor?" Richie mused</p><p> </p><p>He expected a 'fuck you' in return but came short of a response. Concern struck him. He quickly moved towards Eddie's side and saw him sitting on the floor beside the bed gasping. Quickly Richie grabbed Eddie's shoulders and shook him to get his attention.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey hey hey. Look at me. Okay. Breathe. See. Like this. Slowly. In and out. You are okay. Don't panic." Richie rushed out instructions as he slowly took deep breaths for Eddie to replicate. Richie wrapped his arms around the slightly shorter man and held him close to his chest. After five minutes of breathing sounds filling the small room, Eddie quietened down. Richie gave him a few minutes to recuperate from his shock and then asked, "You gonna tell me what happened?"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie fumbled around the table for water and quickly took a gulp. "Nightmare. Don't worry." He rushed out. His voice sounded hoarse and tired."Wanna talk about it?" Richie asked while treading lightly around Eddie's emotional state.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just shook his head in answer. He didn't want to talk about it. Richie took a loud sigh and helped Eddie to his feet. If Eddie wanted to talk about it, he will. Richie will be there to listen to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on let's get you back to sleep now. It's too fucking early for me to function." Richie pulled the covers till Eddie's shoulders and rounded the bed and got back in the covers before keeping his glasses on the table. He could see the blurry image of Eddie still staring at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>Richie sighed again. He slowly threw his hand across Eddie's chest to his shoulder and pulled him closer to himself. It was risky but then he felt Eddie first tense up more and then slowly relax. Richie tightened his hold onto Eddie and closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was awake for a while after Richie had pulled him closer to himself but soon exhaustion of the day and the time wore him out and he fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p><br/>
<em> <b>******</b> </em>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I can't stay here..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just when Eddie thought he could have a normal ish life again, his dreams destroyed his hopes, literally .</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So who was expecting that.</p><p>Btw this is the starting point of the book. After this the actual plots of the book start to take shape.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Take on the World by You Me at Six </em>
  </b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>---------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b><em>7th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>"What? W-when. I-I am out of t-town currently. Maine."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie's voice woke Richie up. Richie tried to rub the sleep out if his eyes. He felt so tired and drained. He fumbled around for his glasses to see what was going on. As soon as he put them on he saw Eddie sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed. He was running his hand through his hair and one hand was fisting his hair tightly. His face pinched and he was tense. Richie could hear someone faintly speaking on the other end but was unable to make anything out.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Eddie got up from the bed and started gathering whatever belongings of his that he had lying out. He was just picking them up and throwing them haphazardly into in his open suitcase while occasionally muttering something into the phone. Richie looked at at Eddie confusedly. Waiting for him to tell him what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>Something was said on the other end of the phone and suddenly Eddie stilled. His hands where about to toss his medicine pack into the bag. His grip on the bag faltered and they crashed onto the floor. Richie jumped at the crashing sound. Eddie took two steps backward and sat down heavily on the bed. His hand now resting limp on the bed beside him. Tears clouded Eddie's vision.</p><p> </p><p>"Y-yes I will be there as soon as possible." He muttered out in hoarse voice. He looked at the phone screen till it clicked shut after the call was disconnected. The grip on his phone slackened and till fell on the floor with a thud. His screen now probably cracked. Richie was still staring at Eddie, confused. He wasn't sure what was happening. He slowly put his hand on Eddie's shoulder and asked, "Dude what the hell happened? Is everything ok?"</p><p> </p><p>As soon as those words left Richie's mouth tears dropped from Eddie's eyes and splattered on his jean- clad legs. Richie's eyes widened and as if in instinct he pulled Eddie to his chest and rubbed his back while shushing him gently. Eddie buried his face in Richie's chest as silently tears flowed out from his eyes. His heart felt as if it was getting squeezed in his chest. It was so suffocating. Soon his throat started closing up, his usual round of his asthma attack hit him in full force. He started gasping loudly.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was so useful to Eddie's bodily reaction and as soon as he started stiffening up he quickly moved away to grab his inhaler and thrusted it into Eddie's hands. Eddie quickly pushed the nozzle of the inhaler in his mouth and triggered it. Eddie's chest loosened up and he slumped back on the bed. Richie looked at Eddie's vacant stare. He uttered only two words, answering Richie's previous questions, "It's Myra"</p><p> </p><p>A confused look grew on Richie's face as he tried to figure out what was it about. He was about to ask Eddie who but he just whispered a word, "Hospital." Shock travelled through Richie's body. He quickly got up from the bed and started gathering all his things from the room. He picked up his phone and dialed Mike and told him that apparently Eddie got a call about Myra and he has to leave immediately and Richie was going along with him. He wasn't leaving Eddie alone now. Mike agreed to it immediately and told Richie to call him as soon as they reached.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was still lying on the bed while staring up at the ceiling as Richie grabbed their bags after hastily packing them up. He opened the door of the room and lunged the bags outside in the parking lot. He looked between both of theirs car. Finally he put all the bags near Eddie's car and searched around for the key that he had grabbed while leaving the room. After getting all the bags in the truck of the car, Richie shut it and quickly walked back inside. He told the receptionist that they had to leave and he quickly paid for both their rooms and then rushed upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was till lying in the same position. Richie sighed and walked closer to him. "Eds get up dude. Let's get you back home come on now." Eddie was barely showing any emotions. He silently got up and followed Richie into his car. Eddie sat himself on the passenger seat and pulled his knees to his chest. He was looking like a scared twelve year old all over again. Richie got into the driver's seat and drive to the library where he dropped of his car keys at Mike's. God they had a long drive ahead of them.</p><p> </p><p>They had to drive all the way from Maine to New York. It was a long seven hour drive. Eddie was silent as they started to drive and remained the same way almost till the time they had left Derry. As soon as the tires had crossed the lines Richie felt a huge weight lift off of his shoulders. Leaving Derry felt much better than he expected. When he turned his head towards Eddie, he found the brunette already asleep. His brow was pinched but he was still sleeping. All through the way Richie kept glancing at Eddie to make sure that he is okay.</p><p> </p><p>Halfway through Richie stopped at a gas station and filled up the tank of Eddie's car. Then he drove towards a drive through and ordered some breakfast for the both of them. They both had left without eating and Richie was starving, he was sure that Eddie would be too. After getting his breakfast, he quickly ate it and threw the garbage in a nearby trash can. Another half an hour into the drive Eddie woke up and muttered nonsense with a thick voice. Richie picked up the takeout bag and said,</p><p> </p><p>"Good morning Eds. Here is your breakfast. Eat it. You haven't eaten anything since last night."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie mumbled out a feeble no but Richie thrust the bag in his hand and told him that if he did not eat the food  Richie will purposely crash the car into the nearest tree. Eddie at that quickly took the bag and eat as much as he could. Eddie was still so much like his younger self. He was eating slowly, making sure to chew his food properly, just like he did as a kid. The entire drive was a very silent one. Eddie didn't talk and Richie didn't want to force him to.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as Richie pulled into the driveway of the hospital, Eddie started nervously biting his fingers. Richie knew how much Eddie hated Hospitals.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Eds. It's alright. I am here. I am not going anywhere. I an not leaving you." Richie muttered out softly. Eddie slowly nodded his head and dragged himself out of the car. He took faltering steps towards the entrance of the hospital and Richie followed closely behind. Eddie inquired at the reception about his wife and the receptionist asked him to wait in the waiting room and that the doctor will be with them shortly. Eddie simply nodded his head and walked toward the waiting room, Richie simply followed him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sank into the hard metal chair and buried his face in his hands. He couldn't see Eddie like this. He slowly put his hand on his shoulder and told him that it was going to be ok.</p><p> </p><p>Soon a doctor stepped into the room with a clipboard in his hands. "Mr Kaspbrak?" Eddie's eyes snapped up towards the doctor. The doctor had a sympathetic look on his face as he made his way towards where Eddie was sitting. He slowly sat down beside him.</p><p> </p><p>"What happened to her?" Eddie asked. His voice wavered.</p><p> </p><p>"Mr Kaspbrak your wife was brought in today early in the morning at around 6:30. She was in a terrible car accident. We tried to get in touch with you but their was no response." The doctor paused for the words to sink in.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah he was in Derry, with us. There was an emergency so we had all travelled to our hometown. What is going on doctor?" Richie answered for Eddie. Concern grew on both of their faces. The doctor took a deep sigh and Eddie unconsciously clutched Richie's arm.</p><p> </p><p>"I am really sorry to say this Mr. Kaspbrak, but your wife has sadly passed away just an hour before your arrival." The doctor said while looking a little sympathetic. Richie's eyes widen and he felt Eddie's finger loosening from his arm. Richie was about to clutch Eddie by his waist because he thought that his legs might buckle. A soft 'oh' left his lips and he slouched into the chair. He sat in the same position, looking at the floor with vacant eyes with his fingers tightly clasped in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"How did it happen?" The doctors eyes widen when the words left Eddie's lips. He seemed taken aback at the calm that the man seemed to be showing. He had tried to broach the topic carefully since he knew exactly who Myra Kaspbrak was. He was used to seeing her in the hospital, usually dragging her poor, slightly taller and extremely lanky husband through the halls like he was a stubborn kid. He had always assumed that the man must be sensitive, but this was really strange to witness.</p><p> </p><p>At Eddie's words Richie was filled with confusion. He knew he didn't love Myra like he should have probably but this was strange. He expected Eddie to be panicking and maybe getting a asthma attack. He was was prepared for that, not for this. He looked at the doctor just as he began to speak.</p><p> </p><p>"Your wife's car was hit by a oncoming truck. She wasn't really too careful while driving and had accidentally run the red light. She was hit right in the driver's side and her car flipped over....."</p><p> </p><p>"Her car flipped over....."</p><p> </p><p>The doctor and Eddie ended with the same sentence the doctor didn't seem to notice but Richie did.</p><p> </p><p>"Can I go and see her?" Eddie asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>The doctor just nodded and got up from the seat and asked Eddie to follow him. Just when Richie got up to follow them and doctor told him that he wasn't allowed to be there. Richie waited for a second to see if Eddie would say something but he didn't. He just walked out after the doctor leaving Richie alone in the waiting room.</p><p> </p><p>After about half an hour Richie saw Eddie coming back inside the waiting room.</p><p> </p><p>"Can we just go please? I can't stay here." Eddie's voice sounded softer than it was. Richie just nodded his head and followed Eddie out to the car parked outside.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p><br/>
<span class="u"> <em> <b>******</b> </em> </span>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I BLESS THE RAINSSS DOWN IN AFRICAAAA...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After finding about the fate of his wife, Eddie is trying to sort out his emotions. Richie is still grasping whatever he could get in form of love.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So there's that. I hope everyone is liking this story so far.</p><p>I have a whole lot more to write. Me and my sister have way to many cute moments to add in this. Since we are not letting them get together so quickly so we decided to fill  it with cute moments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>        </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Every Breath You Take by The Police</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>-------------------------------------</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>7th June, 2016</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie drove a 'completely out of it' Eddie to a destination which he wasn't sure about. Suddenly he pulled the car over because he didn't know where did Eddie want to go. He turned around to face Eddie and placed his hand on Eddie's shoulder gently so as to not startle him.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds where do you want me to go? I don't really know your address." Richie asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Just go to a hotel please Rich. Any hotel is fine, I don't care. I don't wanna go home, just yet." His voice was soft and quiet. Richie almost didn't hear him. He switched on his phone and started looking for a hotel online. When he finally found one, he clicked on the call button and pulled the car into drive. He expected Eddie to scream at him for driving while being on phone but there was no protest. Richie was able to book a hotel room with two beds.</p><p> </p><p>An hour of drive was still remaining. Eddie dozed off in just minutes while Richie struggled to keep his eyes open. He put some music on and minimised the volume as much as possible so as too not awaken the one next to him who looked so sound asleep and strangely comfortable in the car after all that had happened.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had a whole damn playlist dedicated to all of his emotions and he had no idea why had he even created it. Maybe that hurt just made him feel more like a human or he felt worse about himself completely depending on his mood. Even at the age of 40 he hadn't taken in everything he felt. The playlist had songs which were sweet, sad, about unrequited love, being in love with a friend, friends in general, hiding feelings and comforting, peaceful melodies.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can see, see the pain in your eyes</em><br/>
<em>Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried</em><br/>
<em>No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through</em><br/>
<em>You should've known, I wish it was me, not you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As the song played softly in the air Richie couldn't help but look at Eddie who was asleep so perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And just say the word, we'll take on the world</em><br/>
<em>And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst</em><br/>
<em>Nobody knows you, the way that I know you</em><br/>
<em>Look in my eyes, I will never desert you</em><br/>
<em>And just say the word, we'll take on the world</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He smiled as memories from childhood flooded into his mind- having ice cream from that fancy truck on the fourth of July, swimming at the quarry, making the dam at the barrens, the rock war, smoking cigarettes with Bev while pissing off the others, carving those initials, staying up all night just thinking about what was 'wrong' with him.. about his apparent wrong thoughts towards boys (Eddie particularly), crying as the hateful thoughts about himself barged into his head.</p><p> </p><p>A tear slipped down his cheek when he thought of what he felt for his best friend. How much he cried when he was younger, how he hid EVERY single thing around the others cause he didn't want to feel any different and just wanted to belong somewhere and that was with all the Losers.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And just say the word, we'll take on the world</em><br/>
<em>And nobody knows you, the way that I know you</em><br/>
<em>Look in my eyes, I will never desert you</em><br/>
<em>And just say the word, (just say the word) we'll take on the world, we'll take on the world</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As the song concluded he wiped off his tear and Eddie slowly opened his eyes in seconds.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck are you listening to these girly, teenage love kinda songs for 'Chee?" Eddie said in a hoarse and drowsy voice</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck off Spaghetti, I can listen to whatever the hell I want." His voice cracked (which Eddie didn't seem to notice) a little as he began but normalised as he concluded.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie only chuckled and hummed along with the next song-</p><p> </p><p>Richie just wanted to cheer Eddie up so he took on a new plan. SING!</p><p> </p><p>As the chorus started Richie yelled out the lyrics-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you</em><br/>
<em>There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do</em><br/>
<em>I bless the rains down in Africa </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gonna take some time to do the things we never had!!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie too eventually joined in. Throughout the journey they spent their time singing off key to random songs (random to Eddie more like cause they meant a lot to Richie) it was so blissful for Richie to spend such a time with the man he so loved.</p><p> </p><p> He didn't want to leave Eddie alone at all that night. Losing you best friend twice does that to you. Once he lost him to growing up and then he lost him to a demonic clown. Richie would be damned before he let someone take his Eds away from him. He pulled into the driveway of the hotel and got out. A few bell boys came to help them with their bags. Richie walked towards Eddie's side and opened the door. He waited for two minutes but when Eddie didn't move Richie wrapped his hands around Eddie's wrist to get his attention. Eddie's huge chocolate eyes looked up and settled on Richie's face. Eddie had zoned out for the last five minutes of their ride.</p><p> </p><p>When the shorter man registered what was going on he slowly stepped out of the car and straightened his clothes and walked towards the entrance of the hotel. Richie walked towards the desk in the lobby to inquire about his room. After about thirty minutes both the men had settled in the room. Richie looked at Eddie as he opened his suitcase and started arranging the clothes in the cupboard leaving half of the space for Richie. Richie sighed when he realised that Eddie didn't want to discuss anything so he too got up to keep his clothes in the remaining space.</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn't know how long will both of them would be staying here for, so he might as well call his manager.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello Carol. It's me." Richie said into the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck Tozier. Where have you been? You disappeared of the face of the Earth for a fucking week and now you call me and say 'hey'. You can't do that you ass-hole." Carol screamed on the other end of the phone. Richie's eyes widened and he looked around his room and noticed that Eddie had stepped into the shower. He slowly sat on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>"I know. I know. You won't believe me if I tell you what happened. Right now I am in New York. I am with a friend. Okay. He just found out his wife died so he is sort of in shock. I can't just leave him alone." Richie explained while whispering into the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"What friend Tozier? You don't really have much of them. Just tell me the truth. I will get you out of whatever you have got yourself into. Bad drug deal, illegal shit whatever it is. You know you have got best manager anyways. But you gotta get back. You are missing a ton of work. You have fans that care where you are. People honestly thought you got kidnapped or died or some shit. We had a release a official statement saying that you are on a vacation because we had no idea where you were till we saw some posts on social media about you being somewhere in Maine. And what the fuck were you thinking screaming at a little kid. You scared the poor fucker." Carol screeched into Richie's ear.</p><p> </p><p>Richie pulled the phone back from his ear at his manager's loud voice. "Look Carol, babe listen to me and stop fucking screaming in my ears. I told you I have been clean for the past three years and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon. I am really sorry i just got up and left but there are some things that are more important to me than my career, sometimes and I will tell you  when I am in my back in my den. Whatever work I have left send it to me, email it, fax it whatever. I don't care. I am not coming back now. I can't. Tell them I am taking a short break to work on something, or I landed my ass in rehab or whatever or maybe I will just do a Instagram live explaining that I am fucking alive. I really don't care. I am not coming back right now. Give me a few days I will tell when I am coming back." Richie's voice was angrily whispering in the phone. He wanted to make sure that Eddie doesn't hear by chance.</p><p> </p><p>Carol just sighed and agreed to email his work and then cut the phone with a snarky 'you better call me back'. Richie sighed and dropped his phone beside him on the bed. He pushed his face into his hands and furiously rubbed at his eyes beneath his glasses. He had removed his contacts and started using his glasses again after Eddie had come back. He heard the shower shut off and in ten minutes Eddie emerged from the bathroom dressed in a soft pair of faded grey sweatpants and a oversized  white shirt that was falling even below his hips. He looked so small in the huge shirt. Richie wondered who's was it. Probably Myra's by the difference between the size of the shirt and the person in it.</p><p> </p><p>Usually Richie always had something to crack a joke about but now seeing Eddie's behaviour that had taken an apparent three- sixty after jamming off- key in the car. He didn't want to do anything but cuddle with the man till he fell asleep, probably even get to kiss him. But Richie was getting too ahead of even himself. He knew that Eddie didn't like him like that one bit. So for now he settled on making Eddie a cup of warm tea and passing it to him as soon as possible. Richie was not good at comforting anyone. He just didn't know how to do it. He had never been in the position to ever comfort anyone. With the losers it wasn't ever the chance to comfort they all had gone through the same thing that in itself was a great comfort that even if you told them something horrifying it was comfort in itself. </p><p> </p><p>Richie called up room service for their dinner just as Eddie sat on the bed parallel to Richie. Eddie settled his feet under the comforter and cradled the warm cup of tea in his small palms. After about forty- five minutes of silence a knock sounded in the room and the one of the staff of the hotel entered the room pushing a small table. He arranged and uncovered the food and left the men to their small dinner. Richie nudged Eddie to eat a little at least. The entire dinner was silent but even though Eddie tried to suppress his sniffles Richie heard them, but decided against to point that out. It was clear that he didn't want to talk. </p><p> </p><p>After their dinner Eddie got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and then he went to bed immediately. Richie was doing a lot of sighing today but he didn't have much of a choice. He just cleared his bed of anything spilled on his bed and shut all the lights and went to sleep. He could still hear Eddie's soft sniffles.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Eds. You okay?" Richie asked in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>"I am fine. Don't worry." Eddie replied with a hoarse voice.</p><p> </p><p>Richie decided not to push any further and closed his eyes. He lay awake for a while but the entire day's worth of exhaustion caught up to him finally and he went to sleep soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <b> <em>************</em> </b>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. I will help..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie is feeling nothing but confusion and his feeling and emotions are all over the place.....</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all enjoying this book so far...</p><p>Again I am sorry about the slow chapters but you will have to bear with it.</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO and me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Comfort Crowd by Conan </b>
  </em>
  <em>
    <b>Grey</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>----------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b><em>8th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>When Eddie opened his eyes the next morning he didn't know what to feel. He was a jumble of emotions, like his head or heart couldn't decide what to feel anymore. He didn't know if he was even feeling anything. He pinched the side of his thigh and a short dull ache flared at the spot. Well at least he was able to feel pain. He felt confusion. He was tired, but at the same time he felt like he was jumping out of his skin. Eddie was feeling quite restless. His leg was bouncing on the floor that was covered with a thick carpet. Eddie pressed his palms on his thigh trying to stop his leg from bouncing. It wasn't working. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie was feeling hot even in the air conditioned room. He room was very cold right now, it was obvious by the way Richie was cuddled in the blanket. Cold sweat dripped down his back. He felt anxious. He got up from his seat on his bed and entered the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth and took his daily medication. His medicines were a routine. He felt lost without them. He leaned on his arms against the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked tired and sunken in. He blinked and got out of the small stuffy area.</p><p> </p><p>He sat down back on the bed and ran his hand through his hair they were damp to touch. He wiped at his forehead. His dream of two nights ago was playing behind his eyes, the pool of blood, the screech of metal, the defending noise and the rain. He pulled at his hair harshly. Fuck he knew and he didn't do anything. If he had just called her and told her not to go, he wouldn't be here right now, falling apart and yet strangely held together.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had opened his eyes around time Eddie was tugging at his hair. Now he looked at him with concern flashing in his eyes. Eddie had pushed his face into his palms, and was now shivering. Richie quickly got up from his position on the bed and sat beside Eddie. </p><p> </p><p>"Eds you good?" He put his hand on Eddie's back and found his shirt soaked with sweat. Richie's eyes widened. He quickly got up and picked through Eddie's clothes and pulled out a thin shirt some pyjama pants and a pair of plain black boxers.  Richie stepped into the shower and switched on the tap for the bath. Carol always took a bath to calm herself down. It really did help a lot. Richie had tried. </p><p> </p><p>"Come on dude. Let's get you showered. Your shirt is soaked." Richie said while slowly touching his shoulder. Eddie got up from his place as if he is drunk. He swayed a little on his feet and Richie quickly reached out to steady the shorter man. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie stepped into the bathroom and Richie put the pile of Eddie's clothes near the sink. Eddie stared at the bath for a few minutes and then tugged off his too big of a shirt over his head. Richie swallowed thickly, shit when the fuck did his Eds get hot. He was cute before now he is cute as well as hot. Dangerous mixture Tozier. It was still hard to process that his Eds had tattoos now. Richie wasn't a big fan of tattoos in general but they looked hot on him.  His eyes trailed lower and noticed the abs. Fuck, kill me now..... Richie thought. His mind came back to the situation at hand when Eddie muttered for him to go out.</p><p> </p><p>Richie immediately left the small bathroom and shut the door just as he caught the sight of Eddie stepping out of his pants. Puberty was definitely gracious to man. He had quite prominent muscles on his calves and thighs. It had to be puberty hitting late or Eddie had been working out. A lot.  </p><p> </p><p>Honestly there isn't much to that day that Richie's mind had been able to process. Catching the sight of an almost naked Eddie had him daydreaming various kinds of scenarios, that if Eddie heard them or as much as knew about, he would probably kill Richie. By the time Eddie had stepped out it was already after one in the afternoon since both of them had woken up quite late due to being exhausted the day before. </p><p> </p><p>Richie ordered lunch at around three. When Eddie was perched on the bed reading a book and Richie would occasionally pass a comment that will either get him a annoyed Eddie or 'Beep Beep Richie.' Right after lunch Eddie had passed out again. Richie just pulled out his laptop and tried his hand at writing some jokes for his performance. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie woke up at around five in the evening due to smell of smoke. He noticed Richie with a cigarette dangling of his lips and typing on the laptop. After rapidly getting off of his bed he snatched the cigarette he snubbed it out on the ashtray and started ranting about how Richie would die soon. Richie rubbed his palms against his eyes and wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and pulled him on the bed and started tickling him. He suddenly felt careless like a child. Back when he was with the Losers these things were so normal. </p><p> </p><p>He heard Eddie giggle at first and then trying to get out of his arms by pushing them away. Both of them laid on the bed silently for some time. A loud shrill ringing had interrupted the peaceful atmosphere. Eddie got up from his place beside Richie and picked up his cell phone and pressed it to his ear.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello?" Eddie said into the receiver.</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn't get most of the conversation. Eddie said few words like, 'OK', 'it's alright', 'yeah I will be there soon'. Just as he got off the phone he sighed and rubbed his face. </p><p> </p><p>"What's up Eddie. Who was on the phone?" Richie asked while eyeing Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"The hospital. I will have to get her back, you know. I didn't even think about it. I will have to arrange the whole thing now too. I- I can't do it, Rich. It- It's too soon." Eddie was in a terrible state after that. Richie couldn't see him like that.</p><p> </p><p>"Tell me what has to be done I will do it, Eds. Tell me who do you need to call and what arrangements have to be made. I will help." Richie really wanted to help 'his Eds'.</p><p> </p><p>Within the next day Richie had made most of the arrangement. Eddie didn't want to call too many people. He had just called a few of Myra's friends and her close cousins who were still alive. He was adamant on it being a close casket ceremony. The whole thing was quite an emotional affair. </p><p> </p><p>Richie didn't leave Eddie's side at all during the entire time. His palm was resting between Eddie's shoulder so that he could stabilise him and assure him that he was here. The whole funeral was very hasty but Eddie was stuck on getting it over quickly. Richie was surprised at that. He had assumed that Eddie would want to move slow with the whole preparation.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had even heard some of Myra's sisters talking about Eddie, saying that he barely cares about her that's why he is in so much of a hurry. Apparently, according to them Myra had been very upset with Eddie and had asked him if they could adopt kids to which Eddie had replied with a flat out no. That had angered Myra's family a lot but then not much was said since Eddie was very firm with his decision even after countless of arguments with the family.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had never thought what would have happened if Eddie did have kids or adopted them. Richie had the image of his fourteen year old friend which still very hard to upgrade. Imagining that young kid taking care of kids was really very strange. </p><p> </p><p>Richie never told Eddie about what he heard at the funeral. He didn't want to tarnish a dead woman's family. After the whole funeral was wrapped up, Richie drove them back to the hotel. Eddie was silently staring out of the window the entire time. They entered the hotel room silently and Eddie just walked towards the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>After a while Eddie stepped out and let Richie take a shower. When he got out Eddie informed him that he had ordered them something to eat and it was going to be there soon. Richie quite desperately wanted to joke around and make Eddie laugh but for now he was content that Eddie was at least talking. </p><p> </p><p>After a short wait their food had arrived. Both of them slowly ate and Eddie after finishing his dinner, dusted off the crumbs and laid on his bed. Richie quickly finished eating and shut off the lights so that Eddie could sleep. </p><p> </p><p>He wanted to talk to him and ask him if he was okay. But for some odd reason he didn't. He knew exactly what would Eddie answer and that Richie wouldn't believe him. Soon after that Richie fell asleep.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p><br/>
<span class="u"> <b> <em>*******</em> </b> </span>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. You sound so gay at this second Rich..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie's mood swings worry Richie. Eddie is almost at the top of the world eventhough he is behaving very unlike himself.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So what are ya all's assumption? </p><p>What do you think is wrong with Eddie....</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by XO_Vanessa_Dixon_XO and me</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>      </p><p><b><em>Atlantis by Seafret....</em></b>  </p><p>
  <em> <strong>------------------------------------</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>10th June, 2016</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie opened his eyes to be met with the sight of Eddie in a suit. His eyes widened when he registered that it was his Eddie spaghetti in a sharp suit! Eddie was facing the body length mirror and fiddling with the slim black tie around his neck. He kept tying and untying it over and over again. Richie's eyes were fixed on Eddie's lean body.</p><p> </p><p>He wore a semi fitted black suit with a white shirt that slightly clung to Eddie's slightly muscular form. He wore simple black trousers that were fitted around his thighs. Richie swallowed thickly when he noticed Eddie's nibble fingers fussing with the tie. After Eddie had successfully tied and straightened it, he turned around and was surprised to come face to face with an awake Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey 'Chee. Good morning." Eddie greeted Richie with a slight laugh when he noticed the dumbfounded expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook his head a little and swallowed thickly before replying, "Morning Ededs. Where are you off to this fine morning?" These words very spoken in a quite believable British accent. Richie always been so good with impersonating ever since he was a kid of the age of ten and since then he had improved significantly.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't fucking call me that. That isn't my name. Anyways I am off to work. I have already missed a ton of it. I need to get back." Eddie said while picking up his briefcase that, now, Richie noticed was nestled at the food of Eddie's bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you pack your suit and briefcase when you came to Derry. If so I must say it is great to know that you wanted to play dress up with us. Little Eddie bear finally is old enough to play dress up with the crazy kids." Great, Richie's only defence was his trashmouth, no wonder.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just sighed and said,"No fucker. I called Rose to get my suit and my briefcase and drop it off at the hotel. I need them for work."</p><p> </p><p>"Get rid of that tie dude. You look like you are going to a funeral." Shit. Richie's mouth always got better of him. He immediately felt guilty about his words. As much as he likes teasing Eddie, death wasn't something joke about. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie quickly pulled the tie away from his neck and threw it on the bed. Eddie was unable to realise the fact of how he always needed to please Richie. It had been like that when they were kids and it seems not much had changed from then. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie remembered the time when they had gone to the clubhouse that Ben had made, the very first time. Stan had got all of them shower caps so that they don't get spiders in their hair. Richie had refused to put one after all of them had cap on their head. Eddie remembered the fuzzy indescribable feeling in his stomach when he quickly pulled of the cap from his head and joined Richie on the hammock, completely unknown as to why did he do so. </p><p> </p><p>"Better now?" He asked standing in front of a squinting Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"Much much better my dear ol' friend."</p><p> </p><p>"I'll be back by 6 kay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Bring some food on your way back. This hotel only serves Chinese and you know how sick of that shit I am!" Richie called out as Eddie slammed the door shut without even a proper goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was confused beyond understanding. He had no idea why was Eddie was being so odd. Just yesterday he had buried his wife and now suddenly he was going to work. </p><p> </p><p>Richie sat back down on the bed wondering as to what was he supposed to do now. He had never even lived alone. He always had his manager, who was also a very good friend, Carol over who kept Richie going and busy at every minute of the day.</p><p> </p><p>He even rang her up thrice and she left the calls unanswered. He continued sitting deaden and utterly bored on his bed and just staring around the room and casually eating something from the basket of complementary snacks kept in the hotel room.</p><p> </p><p>After rolling around on the bed for a good half an hour, Richie finally grew bored even more than before. He got up from his bed and walked toward his suitcase and grabbed a packet of freshly opened cigarettes and a lighter and stuffed it in his sweatpants. He walked out of the hotel room. He walked down to the lobby with sluggish movements to find a small swimming pool in which he dipped his legs and sat for a while.</p><p> </p><p>As he continued moving his legs around in the cool water his phone buzzed in his front pocket of his pants. He pulled it out quickly in the excitement of getting to talk to someone due to which he almost dropped the phone into the pool of water which made his heart almost stop for a second.</p><p> </p><p>'Beaverly' was the name given to the contact number that was flashing with a smiling picture of the said women.</p><p> </p><p>"Hiya Bev! Finally got bored of Benny boy?"</p><p> </p><p>"Very funny Richie, just checking up on you two, considering you are still together." She sounded cheerful. She was so much happier after so many years of physically and emotional abuse and it was clearly heard in her voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh huh..we are together only and we're good! Although we are in NYC currently in a hotel room cause Eds doesn't wanna go home just yet-"</p><p> </p><p>Beverly cut him off and asked "How is he doing anyways? Did he stop being upset and stuff yet?"</p><p> </p><p>"That's the thing Bev. He is way too not upset suddenly. Like that fucker is always smiling and not even getting annoyed at <em>me! </em>We literally had his wife's funeral yesterday. Its like he just forgotten about it. I fucking joked about a funeral in the morning accidentally and he didn't even seem fazed."</p><p> </p><p>"Huh..that is strange. Well he is Edward Kaspbrak! He must have not noticed it. But he must be at the ignoring stage of his grief just be there when he actually is grieving. Never fails to surprise us at all.." She said in a half sad- half happy tone.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah probably. I know I will be there for him. I am not losing him again. But forget about that. I am really curious about something... How's Ben?" Richie asked over pronouncing in a way to tease her and successfully steering the topic away from Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Perfect..I won the lottery Rich! I fucking won it." She said smugly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah...like he's hot. Actually HOT!"</p><p> </p><p>"You sound so gay at this second Rich." She said while smiling. Richie could almost hear her smile through the phone.</p><p> </p><p>"Whatever Beaver."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut the fuck up Trashmouth."</p><p> </p><p>"Where even is your dear spaghetti?"</p><p> </p><p>"Work...like he really went to work like it was just another day!"</p><p> </p><p>"Wow...he really did skip the grieving stage, huh?" Richie hummed in reply.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay I need to go I have to feed the dogs!"</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you feeding dogs?" Richie questioned in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>"Ben has like to golden retrievers and he is in the middle of a conference call! So yeah I'll call you some other time okay..I love you, Rich!" Beverly said cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p>"Love you too Bevy." Richie said as he hung up the phone.</p><p> </p><p>No matter how long he knew the others he still felt that Beverly was one of the closest to him. They used to sneak around at night and during school to smoke and gossip about random things which was so unnecessary. They used to get yelled at by the people and their own friends for smoking a pack in just three days.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was always the one who got annoyed the most. "Richie you will get cancer in your lungs and maybe even your balls if you keep smoking so much every fucking day! You have no idea how unhealthy a cigarette is. Here's a fact: Every cigarette minuses 11 minutes of your life! By now you probably have 10 years subtracted from your whatever amount of life you have left already I bet!!" He'd complain every time Richie grabbed his lighter.</p><p> </p><p>All Richie did was laugh at his fast talking and pinch his cheeks. "You look so cute when you get annoyed my Ed's!" He'd say with a chuckle and then Eddie would swat away his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Aaah I love you.." He always blurted out by accident to which he always got a casual 'I love you too Rich' back.</p><p> </p><p>If only Richie could tell him and make him understand how much that germaphobic, hypochondriac cutie meant to him and what he actually meant by those three precious little words - 'I love you Eddie...'</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <span class="u"> <em> <b>***************</b></em></span>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. benhanscomisdaddy..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie strange behaviour continued shocking Richie even more.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope we are able to satisfy you all with the Reddie cute moments. Don't worry we have a lot of them planned.</p><p>If you want a certain cute moment comment it any chapter from now onward I will plan to add it.... </p><p>By the way this chapter was again written by me and my sister....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>There You Are by ZAYN</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>_________________________________________________</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>9th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie was bored out of his mind. After his talk with Beverly he had come back to his room and since then he had worked just a little and the other time he sat scrolling through his Instagram. As Richie scrolled through Instagram he heard the hotel room's door click open.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie entered the hotel room looking exhausted as ever. His tie was loosened up a little and  the top bottom of his shirt was unbuttoned. He held his briefcase in one hand his other hand was occupied with bags from some bakery and one small-ish one from Mcdonalds.</p><p> </p><p>"Heya Eduardo!" Richie greeted the exhausted Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"You won't believe what I found on the internet!" Richie continued when Eddie kept the bags on the bed near Richie's socked feet. He pulled the tie away from his neck and chucked it on the bed while shrugging off his suit jacket and hanging it on a clothes hanger in the closets</p><p> </p><p>"I got some shit to eat by the way, cause apparently you hate everything continental now, there are cupcakes, burger, fries and soda!" Eddie announced while sitting down beside Richie in just his pants and shirt.</p><p> </p><p>"So what did you find that's so funny and probably ridiculous to put that hideous smile on your face?" Eddie continued while slowly rolling up the sleeves of the shirt.</p><p> </p><p>"A fan account of our boy Ben!! It is called 'benhanscomisdaddy' apparently people have the hots for him on a highly disgusting level..its hilarious!! look!"</p><p> </p><p>"What! hahaha show me!!" Eddie said with a wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie snatched the laptop from Richie's lap and started scrolling through the posts.</p><p> </p><p>The first post:</p><p>*************************************</p><p class="">        </p><p><b>benhanscomisdaddy </b>Ugh...hotness just oozes out of him. Imagine living with him in a house designed by him. 🥵💋</p><p>
  <b>comments :</b>
</p><p>)He is such a hottie fr..</p><p>)This man will be the end of me!!</p><p>)Cuh-utieeeee</p><p>)Imagine him wearing it at your wedding obvi with him! Oooof</p><p>
  <em>show more</em>
</p><p>
  <em>**************************************</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"</em>Hahaha the username man!!" Eddie laughed loudly while looking at the screen with sparkling eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"I know right..wonder if Benny knows about it!" Richie also retorted.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie grabbed his phone and took a pic of the screen and sent it on their group chat which was created recently by Bill and had every single loser added in it.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds see the one after it..our boy is hot though.. seriously what the fuck happened to that leaking hamburger helper!"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie excitedly scrolled down. His jaw almost hit the floor after that. Well Richie was definitely not kidding.</p><p>**************************************</p><p>
  
</p><p><b>benhanscomisdaddy </b>That's what I'm talking about. HOW CAN A HUMAN POSSIBLY BE SO FUCKING HOT!! ughhhh we would all die just to have a taste of this one fr!</p><p>**************************************</p><p> </p><p>Eddie clicked a picture again and sent both of them as he exploded with laughter.</p><p> </p><p>"This shit is hilarious !" He cried.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just nodded as he beamed brightly seeing Eddie looking brighter than the sun. Richie felt so happy seeing his Eds smile and laugh again.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm just gonna brush my teeth k.." Eddie said after he finally controlled his laughter as he went to the tiny bathroom with his toothbrush and paste.</p><p> </p><p>It had been 15 mins already and Richie was getting bored out of his mind , he switched on his phone and saw that it was 11 pm already.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey..Eds..Ed..Eddie spaghetti..Eduardo..spegward!..EDDIO!" Richie called out of boredom as he lay  on the couch..more like while he lay half on the couch and half on the floor upside down.</p><p> </p><p>"What....?" Eddie's voice came from the bathroom and he leaned outside a little to look at Richie acting like a 3 year old.</p><p> </p><p>"Spider man, kiss me man!" Richie joked referring to one Peter Parker had kissed Mary Jane as he hung upside down.</p><p> </p><p>"You really are mentally retarded huh?" Eddie chuckled as he re-entered the bedroom and continued brushing his teeth.</p><p> </p><p>Maybeeeeee...." Richie said while trailing off at the end.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that the night ended with them cracking ridiculous jokes , texting on the group chat about Ben's thirsty admirers, even emotions were exchanged at a point from childhood and adulthood although Richie left out his biggest pain as it was simply impossible for him to talk about such a thing for him.</p><p> </p><p>He really wanted to tell Eddie about his sexuality but somehow he always managed to convince himself not to when he thought about what Eddie would think. The "I love yous" would mean different, calling Eddie "a cutie" would mean different. Everything could change if Richie slipped it out.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you Eds..." Richie whispered as the laid down on their respective beds.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you too dumb ass..but call me Eds again and I'll chuck you out of the goddamn window" He whispered back as he turned away from Richie to turn off him lamp.</p><p> </p><p>Richie grinned again, even Eddie trying to threaten was so childlike and adorable in the eyes of our dear Trashmouth which would just make him melt completely. </p><p> </p><p>Richie, just like every other night was unable to sleep so he switched on his phone again and went on twitter to let his 'fans' know that he was still alive. It was still hard for Richie to accept that there were people who actually cared about him so much and loved him for his trashy-ness. There were days throughout his life when he felt like giving everything up cause he felt unloved and hated, he felt as if nobody cared and thought about him. </p><p> </p><p>Although he had so many who showed their love but he never felt it in his heart. On top of that his traumatising childhood experiences including Pennywise, bullies (the name calling killed him bit by bit every time and he started self-loathing ),anxiety, losing his only friends one by one and then even forgetting them entirely and one of the worst being the death of his father who was the only person who he ever told about what he felt for boys and Eddie especially.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile Richie was lost in his thoughts, Eddie was busy thinking about his own mess. How he literally resurrected! So much happen in just a single week that he couldn't even pause a minute to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>Met his friends again, found out that Stan took his own life, fought that Clown, died saving Richie, resurrected, reunited, his wife died after he had a crazy dream about it and now he quit his job too...yes he did.</p><p> </p><p>Soon both the men fell asleep after their thoughts had finally quietened down.</p><p> </p><p>Eleven in the morning, Eddie was seated on the armchair in the room while sipping some orange juice from a glass and reading a book. Richie woke up with a groan as the bright light in the room coming from outside hit him in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Bill's book's ending really does suck...Its shit! He is like a crappier and more scary version of John Green" Eddie spoke noticing Richie awake.</p><p> </p><p>"I know...what's the time?"</p><p> </p><p>"11.. How the fuck do you manage to sleep so much Rich..?"</p><p> </p><p>"11! Don't you have to get to work or something..? You are getting late Ed."</p><p> </p><p>"No..I quit it!" Eddie replied as if it was not a big deal.</p><p> </p><p>"You did What!?!?!?" Richie exclaimed in shock.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah it was just not working out.. You were right 'Chee that shit really was invented before fun.. Always hated it. So I thought why not QUIT IT!?" Eddie sounded tremendously relaxed and happy.</p><p> </p><p>"You feeling okay Eds..cause that was a huge fucking move ya know!"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes and went back to his book and juice. Richie picked up his laptop which was kept near his foot. He opened it and found a website on it for selling properties like houses and shops.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude..What the fuck is this!?!?" He turned the laptop to show Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Mhmm, oh yeah I forgot to ask if u could take your laptop. Sorry. You were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up"</p><p> </p><p>"No forget that. What were you doing. Are buying a house? Like right now."</p><p> </p><p>"What? No. I want a new beginning so I sold the house!" He replied as he slowly sipped from his glass.</p><p> </p><p>Richie just looked at him wide eyed and disappointed.</p><p> </p><p>"You really have lost it...Where the fuck are you gonna live and how are you gonna earn your bread dumb ass!?" Richie spoke out a little louder.</p><p> </p><p>"For now I was thinking maybe I can stay with you till I get a house and job..If that is okay with you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah of course you can, but did you really think this through?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes 'Chee I did!"</p><p> </p><p>Richie left out a deep breath."I need a coffee first..Let's talk more later"</p><p> </p><p>Richie was utterly confused about what Eddie did. He didn't get why would Eddie sell his house and as far as even quit his job. He had no problem with Eddie living with him but this was just too sudden. Richie can barely keep his shit together around Eddie what the hell would he do if he is living with him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em> <b>*************</b> </em> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. You speak GERMAN...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie had finally wrapped up all his things back in New York and was now ready to the next big step.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I hope you all are liking this story so far.</p><p>Please vote and comment. It is honestly really motivating and I don't wanna lose motivation for this book.</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and my sister......</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>        </p><p><br/>
<b><em>The Climb by Miley Cyrus</em></b> </p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>20th June 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie had no idea what was going on. The days seemed to be flashing by faster than ever yet they seemed to be moving terribly slow. They were hectic and tiring still. It was all a blur of people, boxes and paper to be signed. </p><p> </p><p>Richie was busy convincing Carol while Eddie got his things wrapped and kept some not everyday necessities in his storage area which he recently rented and took clothes, books and his endless supply of medicine to take to Richie's. Eddie was the happiest Richie had seen him. Eddie was talking about what all things they could do when they got back to Richie's house. </p><p> </p><p>Eddie was also wondering what the hell was he supposed to do. He did have some options like an Attorney or an Actuary maybe even business teacher and he was fit for being all! Thanks to his smart ass for covering everything up in his education. But for now he wasn't worried about that all. He was happy to get a fresh start in his life. Dying for the first time and then coming back to life had definitely opened his eyes. He didn't want to die again with regrets in his head. </p><p> </p><p>Then came the time for him to do the actual moving. Richie was suffering from headaches almost everyday 24/7 because it was all too much for him. Eddie just died then resurrected and now that fucker quit his job, sold his house and is now moving in with HIM! It still was all believed to be a dream for Richie. As if he had been dreaming ever since Eddie died back in the Neibolt house just cause he was desperate to get that friend, who he had so close to his heart, back.</p><p> </p><p>As for Eddie, he had never felt better, he seemed happier than he ever did. Richie was still shocked at the sight of the man who was supposed to be feeling emotions such as grief and homesickness. Eddie was bouncing off the wall. He was so in the element of the whole moving thing.</p><p> </p><p>He had still not stepped into his house. At first he got quite close to entering it but he paled as soon as he opened the door. Richie had to take him back to the hotel and then he came back to deal with the house. Eddie, from that day onwards, sent Richie for whatever work he had in the house. As per Eddie's instruction all of his belongings had been packed up and put into a storage unit with just one wedding picture of him and Myra. Rest of all the things in his house where either sold or sent to Goodwill. </p><p> </p><p>Richie felt this strange feeling deep down that something was clearly different or odd with Eddie. Everything was moving so fast around him that he just needed it all to pause for a minute so he could breath at least for a second. His mind was spinning and he felt like it would never stop for now.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was reminded of the time he had to move from Derry to LA when he was 16. Probably one of the worst times in his life. As if the childhood trauma put on Richie by Christ wasn't enough. The clown, losing friends, being bullied for what he felt, even about Eddie..there was only one person who knew it all about Richie..and that was his dad, Wentworth Tozier.  He was the only one Richie felt safe to open his heart to. </p><p> </p><p>He passed away only a week after he got himself and his family transferred to Los Angeles. Richie felt miserable for so long that he became almost unrecognisable. It was such a big change for him. In a way he was happy to be able to spend time with Eddie yet very very distracting. On their flight back Eddie looked like a young child, so carefree and soulful.</p><p>-----------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>25th June, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie had never seen his Spaghetti so relaxed and unbothered throughout any situation. That huge smile on his face, that made Richie's day brighter, rarely disappeared. Eddie gazed out of the plane window like child. His eyes were sparkling as he excitedly told Richie how he is going to explore LA. Richie had a soft, fond smile permanently etched on his face.</p><p> </p><p>When they hopped out of the plane at LAX they were grandly greeted by Richie's driver, Alessandro, a very talkative German with a gigantic love for his family which comprised of his husband and two beautiful daughters. Through him Richie had learned a little German too, thanks to Alessandro's constant blabbering.</p><p> </p><p>"Hallo Herr Tozier, we missed you! Wie war ihre reise?" He spoke seeing Richie struggling to drag his suitcase along with Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh! hello to you too, mein freund! Yeah the journey was good and tiring!" Richie said as Alessandro grabbed his suitcases politely with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait. What the fuck.. You speak GERMAN!" Eddie gasped while the German kept their suitcases neatly in the car.</p><p> </p><p>"No not much..but I understand it almost entirely." Richie answered with pride.</p><p> </p><p>On their way back home Alessandro constantly talked to Eddie about his entire family history and what a hilarious and kind man Richie was, to which Eddie always disagreed.</p><p> </p><p>Soon enough they had pulled up at the large gates of Richie's property. Alessandro leaned out of the car a little and punched in the code for the gate. The large gates slowly opened and Alessandro drove the car near the entrance of the house. As they pulled in front of the house Eddie marvelled at the sight of the beautiful LA home of Richie's.</p><p>        </p><p> </p><p>"How did Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier end up with a house like this?" Eddie almost yelled, while stepping out of the car, just as Alessandro took out their luggage from the trunk.</p><p> </p><p>"Well he worked hard and didn't quit his job unlike someone" Richie signalled Eddie who rolled his eyes dramatically. Richie grinned widely at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Whatever Rich, can we just go inside..I'm so fucking sleepy!" Eddie said while yawning widely. </p><p> </p><p>They reached the entrance and Richie pulled the door open. He walked into the open foyer of Richie's house. Richie exhaled as the homey feeling of  his home surrounded him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah just give me a second I'll show you your room, I gotta deal with Carol, the storm." Just as he finished speaking  the sound of the tapping of heels was heard and a middle aged woman with dyed blonde hair who was wearing pyjamas. A strange footwear and clothes combo as per Eddie but he let it go considering the time.</p><p> </p><p>"Richard William Tozier you are gonna pay for your disappearance out of no fucking where. Do you know how much I struggled without you at work. Five billion people asking me if you are alive and asking for your signature and confirmation! I am so tired Tozier and it is all your fault!" Yelled the tired looking woman as she approached the two of them with quick footsteps.</p><p> </p><p>"I hate you Rich.. don't ever do this again ass hole!" She continued and then hugged Richie after punching him in his arm completely ignoring Eddie's presence. Richie wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "Yes Carol...I love you too."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie stared in shock again. 'Wait..Richie has a girlfriend!!??' He thought.</p><p> </p><p>Carol pulled away and noticed Eddie's presence. She blinked at him and then put her hand in front of Eddie for him to shake. He shook it lazily still in shock.</p><p> </p><p>"Carol..this is my friend, spaghetti head and Eddie my love this is Carol my manager slash a controlling freak." Richie introduced the two to each other.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey don't fucking call me that." Eddie complained.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck off Tozier.." She turned to Richie then back to Eddie, "Let's talk in the morning okay, I'm tired out of my mind and I am sure so are you." Just like that she turned around and went back upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>"What the actual fuck 'Chee you never told me you were dating your super hot manager?" Asked a completely shocked Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"What!? I'm not dating her oh my god-..Carol is only my manager and before you ask why is she living with me, it's because she is in the middle of a divorce with her husband and wants company.. and well we are quite good friends.. for 23 years I guess."</p><p> </p><p>"Wow Rich. How did you manage to make a person stay near you for so long and-" Eddie started speaking as Richie walked ahead of him showing him one of the guest rooms.</p><p> </p><p>Richie cut him off and shushed him. "Not now Spegward I am going to sleep! And that will be your room now go and pass out! Night!" Richie shoved him inside the guest room and headed into his own room.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling of home again after so long was helping him relieve all the stress stored in his body ever since all the shit went wrong. He took in a deep sigh and went to his bathroom to get out his clothes into something more comfortable. Richie pulled out his phone, wallet and glasses from his pocket and lay it on his bedside table. He stripped down right to his boxers and climbed into his bed and pulled the comforters around himself. He turned to his side, exhaled slowly and closed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>He was still worried about Eddie's strange behaviour but for now he was finally at home after battling a demonic clown and having rough couple of weeks, he was going to worry about it later. For now Richie was in his comfortable bed and he was going sleep and deal with it later. Richie slipped into comfortable sleep after some time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>************</b> </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. At least warn a guy before confessing your sins...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie's nightmare disturbed him over and over again. He must tell Richie...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well things really took a turn there with our dear ol' Eds.</p><p>For now stick around to know more about their chaos.</p><p>Honestly I hope people who are reading this book are liking it so far.</p><p>I haven't received a single comment so I don't know how you all think about the book.</p><p>It would be great if you all vote and comment then just being ghost reader.</p><p>This chapter was written by me and edited by my sister.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>        </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Carry You by Ruelle ft Fluerie</em>
  </b>
</p><p>---------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>3rd July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It had already been 10 days since Eddie had sort of moved into Richie's house. Eddie had fitted perfectly into Richie's house. It was as if he has lived with Richie for years instead of just a few days.</p><p> </p><p>The very next day of stepping into the house Eddie had been up at the crack of dawn in the kitchen. He had been moving around in the kitchen along with Carol. Both of them got along as if they were old friends. Carol was happily chatting with Eddie while whisking the batter of chocolate pancakes that was in front of her on the kitchen counter.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had come down into the kitchen while rubbing at his eyes and grumbling about all the fucking noise they were making and how he couldn't sleep because of them. He slumped on the breakfast bar in his kitchen and rested his head on his forearms sleepily. Both of them had continued cooking still blabbering.</p><p> </p><p>The kitchen had filled with the delicious aroma of pancakes drizzled with a lot of chocolate sauce and some cut strawberries and blueberries, freshly cut fruits and jug of freshly squeezed orange juice. Richie had dozed off on the table, Eddie had slid Richie's plate in front of him and pulled his head up using hair due to which Richie woke up with a loud hiss.</p><p> </p><p>Not much of that had changed till now. Eddie had just started to get the breakfast done after his morning run. Richie had complained a lot about having to wake up so early. A few days after Eddie had been in Richie's house, he had got the shock of his life. Richie had choked when he climbed down the stairs one morning when he saw Eddie standing near the front door, toeing off his running shoes. Eddie was wearing a light blue shirt that was soaked with sweat and running shirts that ended in the middle of his thighs.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had just caught glimpses of Eddie while he was walking out of the shower or maybe in his jeans that he now rarely wore. He could clearly see Eddie's calf muscles. Eddie had definitely gained a lot of muscles in the past years. Eddie just laughed at his expression and walked up the stairs, towards the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Richie's eyes quite shamelessly lingered over Eddie's butt. Since that day he made sure to leave his bedroom after he had heard the door of Eddie's bathroom shout and the faint sound of the shower could be heard to avoid any uncomfortable situation for Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Other than that everything was like smooth sailing. Eddie had still not made any efforts to look for work and he would be at home most of the of day cooking. Sometimes Richie would come home after doing his interviews or shoots to a note left from Eddie saying that he is out exploring and there is food for him and Carol in the fridge.</p><p> </p><p>Carol had praised Eddie's cooking skills over and over again and had even decided to join Eddie for a morning run. Eddie and Carol pestered Richie to join them but he was stuck to the fact that he will not ever wake up at the crack of dawn till his life is in danger.</p><p> </p><p>Richie didn't know how to deal with his conflicting emotions anymore. The time when he didn't need to see Eddie, it was significantly much easier to ignore his feelings. But now having to see Eddie all the time, it was getting significantly harder. Richie wanted to kiss him while Eddie was cooking, or after he steps out of the shower looking soft and so relaxed, or after he gets back home from work and sees him sitting on his couch while watching some damn news channel so badly that it was hurting him physically.</p><p> </p><p>His chest would hurt from the pain of not getting Eddie. Richie hated to admit it but he was glad that Myra was dead and Eddie seemed very much indifferent towards it. He didn't have deal with trying to comfort Eddie who would be crying over his wife all the while feeling relieved that he didn't have to share his Eds.</p><p> </p><p>But for now he had to concentrate on not waking up Eddie as he tried to pick him up to put him to bed. Richie had gotten home much earlier than usual, so Eddie had decided to get dinner to the living room and put in a movie so that they could unwind a little.</p><p> </p><p>Carol, who sat smugly on the couch watching Richie struggle to not wake Eddie, knew exactly how much was her friend in love the man sleeping in his arms. Richie could barely pick him up but he didn't want to wake him up too. Carol giggled softly, seeing Richie huffing and puffing.</p><p> </p><p>Richie wasn't much successful though. Eddie's eyes fluttered open due to being moved around a lot and he slipped from Richie's weird hold and fell on the carpeted floor near the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck, 'Chee. I was fucking sleeping. What were you trying to pick me up?" Eddie complained while getting up and rubbing his lower back.</p><p> </p><p>Richie grinned sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his neck due to nervousness and then grinned mischievously while saying, "I didn't wanna wake you up, you know, and figure out that I let you come to my house just to sacrifice you in my barbecue pit. So I thought I will just pick you up put you in it instead to having to deal with luring you in it. Dude, just saying, you are fucking heavy for someone that small."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!!!! Fuck you. I am an average height and you are not that taller than me. Besides Carol is shorter, sacrifice her."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey don't include me in your stupidity!!! As it is I hear enough of me being shorter than him, from Richie. Not you at least. I had hopes from you <em>Eds</em>. Bad, very bad." Carol said with a smirk on her face.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey not you too. It's already too much for me to hear it from this fucker." Eddie said while Richie grinned at her and mouthed 'Proud of you.'</p><p> </p><p>Eddie grumbled a little more and then announced that he was too exhausted and was now going to sleep. Eddie took lazy steps towards his bedroom. He pulled back the covers of his bed and settled in for the night.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was barely two hours into his sleep before he woke up gasping for a breath. He could still see the vivid nightmare flashing in front of his eyes. The room was very dark with a little bit of moonlight coming in from the window, due to the parted curtain. He rubbed his face and got up from his bed and walked towards the kitchen downstairs. His feet touched the cool floorboards and he shivered a little.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie glanced at the clock on the wall in the kitchen while filled a glass with water. It was already past one in the morning. He leaned his back against kitchen counter and sighed as he sipped his water from the glass. He could still feel his heart pounding rapidly against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the light in the kitchen switched on and Eddie looked up from his glass of water to see Richie, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, standing in front of him near the switch board. Richie's glasses were slightly askew and he was clutching his phone, tightly, in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing up, Eds?" Richie asked while squinting a little as his eyes adjusted to the bright light.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing. Just thirsty. Came to grab a glass of water." Eddie replied after gulping down the rest of the water in his glass.</p><p> </p><p>"You sure, Eds? You look pale. It looks like you have seen a fucking ghost." Richie asked with a chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie didn't know what to say. He had actively avoided talking to Richie about anything substantial. He looked at the ground, towards his feet. He shook his head trying to get rid of the ringing in his ear. He could still see the flashing of lights, hear the screech of metal just as if he was seeing it all happening.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie pressed his palms to his ears and squeezed his eyes shut as he shook slightly. Richie furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards his best friend. He pulled Eddie in a hug and gently rubbed his back trying calm Eddie down. He was itching to ask Eddie what was going on. He wasn't able to get any answers from him. For now he just stuck to comfort him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie almost melted into the hug. He could feel Richie's warmth seep into him and his heady scent with a twinge of cigarette smoke surround him. He could feel his palms sliding on his back in a comforting gesture. The moment Eddie buried his face in Richie's neck, his hands tightened around Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds, you okay?" Richie asked him softly, while he tried to calm his racing heart as he hugged Eddie, he loved that feeling of holding him so close that their heart beats felt one. Eddie shook his head and buried himself further into Richie's hold.</p><p> </p><p>Both the men stood like that for a while. Richie kept rubbing Eddie's back and Eddie tried to calm himself down. Some after a few moments Eddie's arm loosened and fell to his side. He felt embarrassed of his actions.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey let me get you something. Go sit in the living room." Eddie nodded his head absent- mindedly and sat down on one of the couches in the living room. Soon Richie entered the room with two steaming mugs of chamomile tea.</p><p> </p><p>"Here you go. It will help. It always helps Carol." Eddie grabbed the mug and took a slow sip. He felt the warmth of the tea spread through him, warming him up. He instantly felt his muscles relax as he inhaled the scent of the tea.</p><p> </p><p>Both of them sat silently for a while they sipped their tea. Richie could feel his eyes drooping. He was exhausted now. He had almost dozed off when Eddie said something that made him more alert than ever before.</p><p> </p><p>"I killed her, Rich." Eddie muttered softly while looking straight ahead at the blank plasma TV.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Who? What the fuck dude. At least warn a guy before confessing your sins..." Richie said while looking puzzled.</p><p> </p><p>He expected, Eddie to say something to him along the lines of 'Beep beep Richie' but he didn't say anything. Richie assumed that he was talking about something else, but seeing his expression really scared him.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds......" Richie trailed off.... "What's going on...?"</p><p> </p><p>"Myra... Oh my God!!"</p><p> </p><p>"Myra? What?"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't you get it? How are you so fucking stupid. I killed Her. I fucking killed my own goddamn wife. What do you not get in it.." Eddie almost screamed in Richie's face.</p><p> </p><p>"What? No. Eds, what are you talking about? She died in an accident." Richie tried to correct Eddie's thoughts. He assumed that Eddie must have been finding a way to blame himself. Honestly he wasn't far from the truth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>********</em>
    </b>
  </span>
  <b></b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. I did fuck your mom. Don't worry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some secrets are revealed to Richie about Eddie's nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So since no one really comments I am going to assume that you are all satisfied with the speed of the story</p><p>If you need me to change that I need you all to comment.</p><p>We both have multiple ideas for the story and we are including a lot of canons.</p><p>So if there is something you want us to add please comment and i will get back to you it.</p><p>This chapter was  written and edited by me and my sister.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>        </p><p>
  <em><strong>Midnight by Alesso &amp;; Liam Payne</strong> </em>
  <br/>
  <em> <strong>--------------------------------------------------------------</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>4th July, 2016</strong> </em>
</p><p>Things had taken drastic turn in a few short hours. Just a few hours ago they were joking and laughing and having fun but now that wasn't the case at all. Eddie was a mess that Richie had no idea what to do about him or how to help him.</p><p>"No. I killed her. Fuck I killed her.... I could have stopped it. Just a call. I knew it felt to real. Oh God. I should have trusted my gut...." Eddie rambled on while harshly tugging at his hair.</p><p>Richie rubbed at his temple, already getting a little annoyed because of how he couldn't get him to listen. He quickly seized Eddie by his shoulder and turned him so that Eddie could face him.</p><p>"Eds. Eddie. Shut up dude. I love you, but see what the time is. It's too fucking early for you to self loath. I don't mind you doing it. Honestly but I can't make sense of what you are saying and if you keep screaming you are not helping any of us. So calm the fuck down and talk to me."</p><p>Richie's voice was demanding and the moment he finished the look on Eddie's face almost made him believe that he was going to get slapped. He was almost ready for that but suddenly Eddie threw his arms on Richie's shoulder and buried his face in Richie's shoulder and mumbled,</p><p>"The dream Richie. I- I can't get it out of my head. I see it every time I sleep. Over and over again. It is the same always. I wish I had called her and told not to leave the house or not to drive. She would be here Richie. I would be miserable but she would be alive. I knew something was wrong but I brushed it of." Eddie said as his tears stained Richie's t-shirt.</p><p>Richie was confused beyond understanding. He had no idea what was Eddie talking about, till he remember something that he had heard in the hospital.</p><p>"Your wife's car was hit by a oncoming truck. She wasn't really too careful while driving and had accidentally run the red light. She was hit right in the drivers side and her car flipped over....."</p><p>"Her car flipped over....."</p><p>The doctor and Eddie ended with the same sentence the doctor didn't seem to notice but Richie did. </p><p>Shit Eddie knew.</p><p>"Eds, is this about the dream you had in Derry?" Richie asked softly.</p><p>He felt Eddie cry even harder on his shoulder and felt him nod his head.</p><p>"Will you please tell me?" Richie wasn't sure is he will get an answer.</p><p>After a small round of sniffle into Richie's shoulder, Eddie pulled away and ran a hand across his face. </p><p>"I saw Myra walking out of the house and get into the car. She drove for a short while and then suddenly her phone rang. In most of cars our phones were connected to the Bluetooth so when it rang it would  just pop in the car. I think I had called her from Derry and I was talking to her. I told her that I would be home in about two days and that I miss her a lot. She started telling me how I had worried by disappearing out of the and then not picking up the phone. She didn't notice the red light and ran it..... and.... and......... then- Oh my God Richie there was so much blood and sound and i hated it. I hated it so much." </p><p>He broke in an another fit of tears. Richie enveloped him in his arms and help his best friend close to him as Eddie shook with tears. </p><p>"Shhhhh Eds. Its okay. Its not your fault. You didn't know. Besides your too careful  with every one for even thinking about trying to kill someone. You have always had bandages for each and every injury. You will never do it and besides that, I know you. I think the only person you would want to kill would be me because I did fuck your mom. Don't worry." <br/>Eddie let out a choked laugh at Richie's last few words and muttered out a small 'Beep Beep Richie' while pushing himself closer to his best friend. Richie closed his eyes as he felt Eddie's warm body pressed against him. </p><p>While Eddie found comfort and safety with Richie, something he had never felt with Myra, Richie savoured each and every second of it. He didn't know for long he could have Eddie wrapped up with him so he enjoyed it for as long as it lasted. Eddie's soft scent surrounded him completely. He could smell his vanilla shampoo and a quite clean scent of some soap he had no idea about. <br/>He could smell a very familiar scent from Eddie right now, one that he remembered from his childhood clothes when he had quite shamelessly sniffed one of Eddie's t-shirt when he had hugged him once.</p><p>Slowly Eddie pulled away from the comforting embrace and both of them felt a chill settle in them. They felt empty without the other. Eddie got up from his place on the couch and stretched out his hands above him which made his shirt ride up a little. Richie's eyes caught the tanned band skin that he could see because of Eddie's low hanging sweats. He could see the sharp v- line and he gulped thickly. </p><p>Eddie turned away from Richie, grabbed both of their cups and took to the kitchen sink where he busied himself by washing the cups. Richie followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter near the sink.</p><p>"Come on Eduardo let it be. I'll wash them tomorrow." He wined sleepily.</p><p>"Don't fucking call me that, you ass. I know you, you will say that you are gonna do it but I know later I will only have to wash them." </p><p>"Well alright do what you wish to do, my second favourite housewife cause well of course, Sonia, the gorgeous is my first." Richie said while grinning from one cheek to the other which wasn't wiped off even when Eddie smacked him on the arm with a washcloth.</p><p>After that both the men retreated to their respective rooms. Eddie tossed and turned for a while but soon fell asleep.</p><p>Later when Eddie again woke up it was almost nine. He quickly walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. When he looked up he saw his slightly paler skin, he shook his head and walked into the shower. After a quick shower he got dressed and walked into the kitchen where he was surprised to find Richie awake and him and Carol were staring intently at a few papers spread out on the table in front of them. Both of them at half filled coffee mugs near their arms.</p><p>"Morning Eddie" Carol greeted him sweetly, "There is some coffee for you in the pot."</p><p>"Morning Spegward." Richie said while eyes didn't leave the papers.</p><p>"Don't start in the morning now, come on. Thanks Carol." <br/>Eddie grabbed a mug, that was marked as his, from the cupboard and poured himself some coffee. He grabbed his mug and settled himself on front of the two busy looking individuals. </p><p>"What are doing? I am surprised to see Richie awake before ten."</p><p>"You wound me, Eds." Richie said while placing a hand on his heart and pouting like baby.</p><p>"We had to go through some of Richie's final stuff from one of his upcoming sets." Carol spoke in a hurried tone as she placed some papers in a blue file and Richie looked at them carefully with a very 'out of it' look.</p><p>"Wait does Richie write his own shit?" Eddie asked with excitement.</p><p>"Eh...sometimes but mostly it's either too offensive or just not easily understandable."</p><p>"But I do." Richie interrupted Carol. Eddie laughed and continued speaking, "Even when we were younger this fucker was the same. Always being a dick."</p><p>"Oh I know, once a dick always a dick." Carol joined in.</p><p>"I'm right here!" Richie complained.</p><p>"Even back in high school this one tried to flirt with me with his shitty jokes. Never ever worked, not once." Carol stated looking at Richie and then Eddie.</p><p>"You knew each other in college?" Eddie looked shocked with a smile. Richie dropped his face into his palm in embarrassment.</p><p>"Yeah even dated for like.. How long was it 'Chee?" Richie continued to shut himself down instead of answering Carol, "Right 8 months!"</p><p>"Holy FUCK! Richie how did I never know about this shit? Carol tell me everything!" Eddie never seemed more surprised in all the 30 something years they had known each other.<br/>"Ladies! ladies please do step outside before you give me a headache." Richie instead got up by himself and stepped outside and sat next to the pool on his pool chair while inside Carol began telling the entire story.</p><p>"So Rich was the new kid in school ya know and he was all lonely and desperate to make friends which freakishly he found very easy. Ya know how 'Chee is.. he gets along with everyone if he tries. Don't know how he managed to rise on the popularity scale, as per the girls it was that darn smile, cheekbones and hair'.. Guiltily I found him attractive too and soon enough the fucker started flirting with me cause I was the only girl not drooling all over his stupid frog face although I kinda secretly was. One fine day out of nowhere he asks me out out of nowhere and BAM it just happened. The idiot was like a puppy.." Eddie listened to Carol completely lost into the story and her voice seemed so soothing to him as her smile shone brightly throughout.</p><p>"How did it end then and how the fuck did he become popular hahaha!"</p><p>"Well one day Richie just said that he felt that we seemed more sibling type ya know and I honestly had started feeling the same way..although everything between us was so intense and 'in love' type, the conversations were just playful and friendly. And now that fucker is my best friend and I'm his.. and also I'm his manager so I rule over him."</p><p>"This is amazing Carol," Eddie's eyes were pretty much twinkling at this point. Carol did seem so pure and perfect. What he couldn't believe was how she stood Richie for like 27 years and didn't ever fall in love with that messed up goofball and how Richie didn't fall for her, such a beautiful and fun woman with the loveliest smile.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span class="u"> <strong>***********</strong> </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. How can someone think that Richie 'Girl Crazy' Tozier is Gay..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Tozier house gets in the 4th of July spirit while Carol blurts out something quite surprising.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now for this I need anyone who is reading this book to comment and tell me what they want.</p><p>The response on this book is certainly very disappointing and both of us our trying very hard to not lose motivation but I am not sure if that is going to work.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>        </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>What a Feeling by One Direction</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>--------------------------------------------------------------</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>4th July, 2020</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>After 20 minutes of waiting Richie decided to step back inside hoping that Carol had ended  the entire history of Richie and her. It wasn't that he didn't want Eddie to know about it, he just prefer not to tell him. Richie definitely had crazy days during his early days.</p><p>As he walked into the room, he saw the sight of Eddie laughing hysterically at something Carol had just said. His head was thrown back and side of his eyes was crinkled and he laughed loudly. Richie felt his heart contract at the sight as his chest felt tighter. God he looked so beautiful when he laughed. </p><p>"The fuck are you both laughin' bout now?" Richie asked grumpily, trying to hide the fact that he had been admiring Eddie from afar.</p><p>"About the fact that you were so SO 'loved' by girls and boys.... Carol just told me about that time this guy asked you out cause he thought that you were gay!" Eddie retorted loudly. </p><p>Fuck no one was supposed to know, especially Eddie. Not even slightly. He preferred not to tell Eddie that he was gay. He knew exactly what would happen if he did. The moment he would admit his homosexuality, Eddie would ask if he has a crush on someone or likes someone and Richie was sure that even if he says some random person's name, the look he would be looking at Eddie with, would give his secret away. </p><p>Just as he shook his head a little to himself, Carol looked at Richie with a sorry look and he just rolled his eyes. </p><p>"I mean- how can someone think that Richie 'girl crazy' Tozier is gay..what vibes were you giving off man? your shitty flowery shirts I bet!!" Eddie continued trying to speak between his outbursts of laughter.</p><p>"Pfft- whatever Ededs. Your mom loved my shirts. Especially when they were next to her bed..ya know like on the floor..." Damn Richie and his dirty mouth.</p><p>Carol again looked at Rich with a smirk this time knowing exactly what was happening in his mind. The real reason why Richie decided to end things with Carol in high school was because he couldn't keep up the act anymore and she was too much like a sister to him. He spilled every bit of his childhood to her except the part of the clown. Which he later told in a hurry before he left to come to Derry, she even believed it in the first try because of the serious and emotional look on Richie's face which also had a little puke on the side. </p><p>Yeah..Richie had this problem. Whenever he gets anxious or scared, like when his anxiety takes over he throws up everything he had in the previous 24 hours.</p><p>"Happy FOURTH OF JULY YANKEES AND GRINGOS!!" Richie yelled trying to get off the topic about his childhood.</p><p>"Yeah I just remembered Jake and Luke are coming over for the occasion. Cause ya know the fireworks are the best from our roof." Carol announced as she texted someone on her phone. Richie simply nodded already knowing who they were.</p><p>"Uh who is that?" asked Eddie with confusion displayed on his.</p><p>"My kids..Jacob and Lucas, chaos, two boys! How much crazier could parenthood be with those balls of fire." Carol said while she cleared off the dining table after they all finished eating.</p><p>"They are fucking angels. No idea what you are talking about." Richie said flinging his hand in the air.</p><p>"Wait you have kids? Wow."</p><p>"A husband too." Richie chuckled.</p><p>"EX HUSBAND!" Carol yelled over Richie's chuckles.</p><p>"You didn't sign the papers yet so..."</p><p>Eddie just sat there smiling widely as he saw the looks Carol continued to shot towards Richie. They all felt so in the moment and cheerful. It felt as if the sun was smiling down at all three of them especially on Eddie who looked the best in days.</p><p>The day went by calmly as they all cooked and waited for the sun to go down. Just when the sun was over head the doorbell rang and Carol rushed over to the main door.</p><p>She opened it and two boys, 17 and 14 years old, were pulled into a deep hug by Carol. The older one was very interactive with Richie and Eddie both while the younger one mostly just stuck with Carol and stormed her with everything that was going on at home and school.</p><p>Apparently Jacob who the oldest son was very openly bisexual and the nicest kid ever. He couldn't stop telling Eddie about the story of how after his girlfriend cheated on him and he kissed her brother ony to irritate her and take revenge and they are now dating very unexpectedly cause he never thought that he'd be into his girlfriend's brother. This was a story Richie had heard almost 23 times yet he loved it cause the way Jacob described it was so hilarious, harsh yet sweet. </p><p>"You are an icon kid! I mean if we did crazy shit like that in our days we'd be kicked out of our houses." Eddie said still laughing like an idiot.</p><p>"Our days why are you making us sound like 70 year old grandpas and shit!? Besides your mom wouldn't ever think about kicking you out Eddie bear.."  Richie teased him. Eddie kicked his calf with his foot, getting dirt on his jeans which caused Richie to complain for destroying his 'best pair'.</p><p>"Let's go back to those fireworks, probably the most common image related to Independence Day. Americans really, really love fireworks. The American Pyrotechnic Association – "pyrotechnic" is another word for "fireworks" – that Americans spent $825 million on fireworks last year!" said the blonde lady on the TV as Eddie stared at it with drowsiness in his brown eyes.</p><p>"Just shut it go the fuck to sleep batty." Richie commanded comparing Eddie to bats who stayed awake all the time with that weird freaky look in their eyes. Without saying a word Eddie got up and went upstairs to his room which was also Richie's dumpyard where he kept all of his childhood shit as apparent memories to devour and recall.</p><p>Eddie sat on the bed and looked around blankly when his eyes fell upon something highly recognisable kept in a corner all bundled up. It was kept on top of two stacked up cardboard box and was stuck between them and a huge encyclopedia. He got up and walked towards it lazily trying so hard to even move his feet forward even an inch.</p><p>He tugged at the lemon yellow thing and it came out with ease. Eddie looked at it carefully trying to recognise it better as a small smile came on his face as he remembered. It was 'his own' lemon yellow, angry monster shirt. </p><p>It seemed so tiny and adorable to him, he kinda realised now how miniature he actually was as a kid and also how terrible his clothing choices were as he cringed slightly.</p><p>'What is my shirt even doing here?'he thought. Why and how did it land up in Richie Tozier's house that to after about 30 years.</p><p>He held it against his body and looked into the mirror. He laughed slightly looking at himself with his childhood shirt. He thought about his 'interesting' clothing choices back in the day, the booty shorts. polo shirts, fanny packs...</p><p>Sometimes the want of enjoying childhood crept up over him and flooded his mind like waves on a sea shore. He missed the bike riding, the barrens, the quarry, his mom and Stan-</p><p>Even after all that happened in their earlier years Eddie still craved the joy. </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>**************</strong>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Plus that shirt is just HIDEOUS!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things calm down a lot and Eddie finds something quite.... interesting.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no idea what are all of you thinking about the story.</p><p>This story recently won the WOD Awards where it stood First in the Fanfiction Genre on Wattpad.</p><p>Please vote and comment to show your support.</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and my sister.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>        </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Nervous by Shawn Mendes</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>--------------------------------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>4th July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Richie sat comfortably on his roof along with Carol and her sons..waiting for Eddie to wake up and join them. He was busy listening to some argument that Jake was having with Carol about going to a party with his boyfriend. It was almost 7:30 pm. Darkness had almost settled completely in the sky like a heavy blanket. The firecrackers would fill the skies soon enough.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie woke up after a nice 4 hours 'nap'. His eyes had swelled up slightly because of sleeping so much and drool came down his mouth while his hair sat completely messed up and uncombed on top of his head. He looked for the yellow shirt and fixed himself up to look slightly presentable. He wanted to ask Richie how the shirt landed up here after all these years.</p><p> </p><p>He stumbled a little as he went upstairs, to the roof, still stuck in that cloudy haze of sleep. When he finally reached he was greeted cheerfully by Carol's lovely smile and Richie's harsh comments about Eddie being sleeping beauty's even sleepier and cuter twin brother. He sat next to his friend while hiding the small shirt by his side so that Richie doesn't see it for now.</p><p> </p><p>He sat peacefully on the chairs set out in a slight 'U' and stared at the darkened sky while patiently waiting for the firecrackers. Soon the firecrackers finally were launched into the sky filling it up with vibrant colours, light and smoke about which Eddie kept complaining how the Earth will die because of the unhygienic swines who keep polluting it without having second thoughts, all the while the rest of them enjoyed the bright lights.</p><p> </p><p>Soon enough Richie had been distracted because of Eddie's smile as he looked at the last of the fireworks. Eddie had a smile brighter than the sunshine, etched on his face. That smile that always made his heart go nuts..Eddie then turned and the smile suddenly disappeared when Richie immediately tried to shy away.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Rich?" Eddie called his friend out.</p><p> </p><p>"What's up Spegward?" Eddie shook his head at the new nickname.</p><p> </p><p>"You ever held on to any memories from childhood still? Like a moment or an item perhaps?" Eddie asked sounding slightly serious.</p><p> </p><p>"The fuck? What has gotten into you suddenly?" Richie exclaimed as he looked at Eddie with shock in his eyes. Richie desperately hoped that Eddie didn't find it, because if he did he was going to be in trouble. He didn't have any decent or believable excuse. Wait, what did Eddie find in the house? Did he find his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie gave him an 'answer me' kind of look so Richie let out a low grunt and a sigh. Better to spill it now.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes Eddie....yes I did. It just meant a lot to me.. I mean.. a close person to me throughout my childhood" Richie sounded emotional and touchy which made Eddie a little teary thinking that finally his idiotic friend decided to show some realistic emotions towards him.</p><p> </p><p>"The memory of fucking your mom will always be treasured by me Kaspb-" He shut up when Eddie violently punched him on his balls as Richie yelped in pain and the rest three just laughed at the sight.</p><p> </p><p>"Fucking sadists each and every one of you-" Richie cried still in pain. Lucus and Jacob looked at the whole thing with wide eyes whereas Carol laughed her butt off while reprimanding Richie for cursing in front of her kids.</p><p> </p><p>After that chaos calmed down Carol stood up claiming that she had to go back to her Ex's house to drop of Jacob and Lucus . Richie and Eddie nodded their heads and then Richie stood up to go back to bed while yawning loudly. Just then Eddie grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. Richie stumbled a little and sat down again and looked at him questionably.</p><p> </p><p>"You okay Eds?" Richie questioned in worry when he remembered how strange Eddie had been ever since his wife's death. Richie was still confused why was Eddie behaving in such a strange manner.</p><p> </p><p>"Wanted to ask you why you still have this?" Eddie lifted the yellow shirt that was balled up in his fist by his side up to Richie's face.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was mortified. He hadn't seen that shirt ever since he moved here to LA, which was YEARSSS back. He was sure that he had hidden the shirt properly and that there was no chance that Eddie could find it again.</p><p> </p><p>That was the shirt that Eddie had once left at Richie's house after him, Bill, Ben and Stan had had a sleepover at the Tozier's house. Unfortunately Mike couldn't make it cause he was stormed with work back at his farm and Bev had already moved away.(after the events of IT chapter 1). Richie had thrown a glass of water on Eddie when he had complained how hot it was in Richie's room.. and as you all know Richie came to rescue! Eddie yelled at Richie and complained about how he will catch a cold by sleeping in it.</p><p> </p><p>Stan had given Eddie his own spare shirt and left Eddie's shirt out for drying. The next day the boys woke up late and in a hurry Eddie forgot to take his shirt, when Richie returned home he found the shirt still drying on the chair. He took it in his hand and looked at it with heart eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered how obsessed he was with a small cute and adorable Eddie. He had slowly got it close to his face and then just buried his face in it. That weirdly perfect scent of Eddie was all in that yellow shirt. Medicine, shampoo and wood. Richie used to occasionally remove that shirt and bury his nose in it when it got too hard for him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie tried to force himself to return it but never had the heart to.. He loved to hold that shirt in his hand as he slept although he cursed himself for doing so but Edward Kaspbrack's annoying and tiny self was way too precious and irresistible for him. Richie was disgusted by this habit of his but he couldn't stop however hard he tried to.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh...wh- ..that.." Richie pointed at the shirt as he tried to form a sensible and coherent excuse.</p><p> </p><p>"That...shirt is.. yours.." Richie said dumbly because he was so tensed that second, his palms were getting sweaty and his tongue felt useless in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah no shit it is mine." Eddie said simply as if Richie couldn't have been more stupid and waited for a more intelligent response.</p><p> </p><p>"Well.......Memories you know" Richie said stupidly.</p><p> </p><p>"Seriously Tozier..that is the best thing you can come up with?" Eddie said exasperatedly.</p><p> </p><p>"I kept the book you gave me too.. remember the one called captain underwear or something!" Richie said quickly when he found a way out of his fresh stupidity.</p><p> </p><p>"Underpants dumbass.." Eddie corrected his friend.</p><p> </p><p>"Whatever..I KEPT THAT TOO! I was gonna return the shirt but I felt too lazy, plus that shirt is just HIDEOUS! You looked better not having that in your wardrobe." Richie said smartly. He was so happy for his fast brain.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie could feel Richie's lie everywhere in his body. He knew that it was something else, but he decided to let it go.. He recalled the book that he had gifted to Richie saying that this was perfect for him...</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Your disgusting, trashy and dirty self would probably love this.. heard that the main character or whatever is a douche just like you.. next year I'll get Harry Potter maybe then you will get some brain cells." Eddie chucked the book in Richie's hand.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ah! you are so adorable, thank you Eduardo; how thoughtful of you!! Love how you put so much of your mind in what to get me...I'm touched." Richie said overdramatically and got a smack on his head by his mom.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie later went upstairs to the same storage room and even got out the book to prove it to Eddie that he still had it. The reason though remained a secret for Richie himself. He had it for all these years because Eddie had signed his own name on the first page of the book.. and the best thing: he even drew two hearts and a cute smiley for Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie's lovesick heart just had to cherish that and the same went for the shirt.. If only Eddie knew the reality behind all of that.. he would have a actual fit. Richie was sure of that and he wished to avoid it.</p><p> </p><p>What a sappy and addictive romantic was Richard Tozier even in his childhood and teen years. But that really didn't seen to change much he still secretly sniffed Eddie whenever the shorter of two would be close enough to him or hugged him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>***********</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. I've seen and felt that ugly thing inSIDE of me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are strange and we have interview coming up...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well I haven't gotten any comments till now so I am still completely clueless what you all think of the story still now.</p><p>Still I am trying to keep up with the writing.</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and my sister.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>This is a just a note before the chapter: always notice the dates as they are necessary for events.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>**************************************</p><p>        </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Cliché by mxmtoon</em>
  </b>
</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>17th July, 2020</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Richie hoped that he could say not much had changed since the 4th of July. Some somethings had changed but some things hadn't. Whether they were good or bad and acceptable or not, that part was definitely questionable.</p><p> </p><p>Richie's feelings towards Eddie hadn't changed a wink, they were just getting stronger and stronger and Richie was blaming this on the fact that now he had to see Eddie almost all the time. Sometimes he would not be at work and sometimes Eddie would be out exploring LA or giving interviews, but Eddie definitely wasn't in any hurry to find a job.</p><p> </p><p>Richie learned it the hard way. Two days ago during breakfast, Richie poked a joke at Eddie about till when was he planning to live off of Richie though that wasn't the case at all. Eddie had been getting the groceries for the Tozier house since Richie didn't let Eddie do anything else.</p><p> </p><p>Both Carol and Richie laughed after that. Richie had expected Eddie to be angry but not violent. Eddie had gotten up from his place calmly and very loudly kept his plate and mug on the kitchen counter, waked Richie's head quite roughly, and screamed that he will be out of his hair soon.</p><p> </p><p>It took Eddie about seven hours to come out of his bedroom where he had angrily stalked off and that to only after Carol had made Richie apologize a hundred times.</p><p> </p><p>Richie wanted to smack himself for what he said yesterday. He again jokingly said that Eddie had overreacted the day before and that earned him a hard glare and a shove from the couch that almost made Richie land on his head on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Carol stared wide-eyed at Eddie. Even she had begun to pick up on Eddie's strange behavior. She had tried to convince Richie to talk to Eddie to figure out what was wrong or if something was troubling him or as if something was going on. Richie had just nodded his head while rubbing at his arm which had braced his fall.</p><p> </p><p>Things very strange with Eddie. He just had a strange distant look on his face most of the time. At first, Richie thought that it was because Eddie was grieving but now he was almost sure that something was wrong with his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>Carol and Richie had come home late after a long dad at work. Being Richie's manager was a very stressful job. He wanted his jokes to be on the script while the company thought that they were too vulgar or insensitive to be said in front of thousands of people. Keeping both sides happy and satisfied was a very long grueling process.</p><p> </p><p>Since Richie had disappeared from the face of the Earth without explanation for a very long time and had released no official statement of his whereabouts most of the press was going crazy with questions and was coming up with wild and off the rockets theory.</p><p> </p><p>All the way from work to Richie's house, Carol tried to get Richie to understand the importance of the interview she had set up for him for the next day. she understood that it had been short notice but she knew that Richie would find some or the other way to get of it if she had mentioned it before.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on Carol, it doesn't even matter. There is no need to give an interview. They know what they know and I don't care what they think about me till they find my jokes funny which they already do. I am back to work so it's fine. Come on-" Richie whined like a little child.</p><p> </p><p>"No no no. You are doing this interview. They think you were in rehab or you got some chick pregnant or whatever. None of those things are good for your career, Rich. You will have to do this." Carol was getting a little frustrated with all the things that she had to put up with because of him.</p><p> </p><p>"But-" Richie started.</p><p> </p><p>"Rich...you have an interview tomorrow.. don't complain-", Carol quickly added before Richie could say another word, so he just closed his mouth again.</p><p> </p><p>"They'll be here at 10 in the morning and please for the love of God don't be a shit-head and say dumb stuff like you always do." Carol added as the car pulled up in front of Richie's house and both of them walked out.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine...mom..." Richie said with a grin. Richie knew it was pointless to argue. Carol obviously knew that as always he was gonna manage to mess up and she will have to find some way to fix his 'dumbassness'.</p><p> </p><p>Richie and Carol entered the silent and dark house. Eddie had already gone to bed. Whenever the two would be back home late Eddie would have already gone to bed according to his 'schedule'. Both of them walked up to their bedrooms and turned in for the night since they had already gotten something to eat at the studio.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>18th July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>The next day at 9 Carol was busy waking Richie up and giving him something nice to wear while Eddie sat in his room face-timing the few other losers. It was utter chaos since Richie was not ready to get up and the shower had been running for more than five minutes since Carol didn't want any time to be wasted.</p><p> </p><p>When she finally got him up she shoved him into the shower and shut the door. Richie took 20 minutes to finally get out looking halfway decent. Carol was standing in Richie's room completely dressed in heels, holding one of Richie's suits in her hands.</p><p> </p><p>She wiped some toothpaste from Richie's chin and demanded him drop his towel, which earned her a wide-eyed look. It was so too early for Richie to come up with something stupid.</p><p> </p><p>"Strip asshole. Nothing that I haven't seen. I am sure if I leave you alone to change you are gonna face plant on the bed and fall right back to sleep. Now chop-chop." Carol said as she shoved Richie's clothes in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>"sOmeBodY is getting horny, m'lady I'm not into ladies.." Richie said extravagantly.</p><p> </p><p>"Back in high school, you shamelessly stripped in front of me..I've seen and felt that ugly thing inSIDE OF ME before so stop overreacting!" She said in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p>Richie lazily pulled on his clothing slowly while Carol fixed his hair and face. As soon as he was done she pulled him towards the kitchen while yelling instruction at him as if she was Hitler.</p><p> </p><p>"They'll be here in 10 so get your shit together Tozier and don't fucking say anything stupid." Carol half yelled as she ran around the kitchen trying to find coffee to wake Richie up from his 'early' morning haze.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie laughed a little as Carol's loud shrill voice carried up to his room while he was face timing Ben and Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck was that screaming about?" Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Richie has an interview today and he is being a lazy shit and his manager, who is also his best friend slash Ex-girlfriend, is trying to get the asshole to a smoothly functioning level which doesn't seem to be working much. It has been the same screaming for an hour now." Eddie said with a small smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>The couple laughed loudly while shaking their heads at their best friend's laziness.</p><p> </p><p>"I totally forgot that he was famous, you know! What's the interview for though and who even decided to make him famous." Beverly said with a smile lighting up her whole face. Ben turned his head towards her and smiled at her with a soft expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Ya, you tend to forget that because he is still the same trash mouthed Richie. I'm clueless about the interview, I'm just gonna sit next to Carol and listen to all the shit Richie says... I'll record it for you guys", Eddie answered.</p><p> </p><p>"Ya sure don't forget we can't wait to see how he acts in front of the camera." Beverly said while giggling a little.</p><p> </p><p>It's gonna be a LONGGG DAY</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Holy lord, Nostalgia hitting hard..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie recounts memories from his younger days while Carol remember her past with Richie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow so we both hope you all like this chapter.</p><p>This chapter was written by my sister and edited by me.</p><p>Follow our instagram: @choose_me_reddie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Africa by TOTO</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <strong>18th July, 2016</strong>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Richie, it’s so good to have you back, our favorite Trashmouth with us again!" Said the female Interviewer into her microphone with excitement as they were all seated on Richie's white couch in his living room.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was seated right next to Sasha, the interviewer, and across Jordan, the cameraman.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, it's totally awesome to have you here too Sasha! Although my sleep has been ripped into shreds thanks to my Manager, Carol Feeny..." Richie said faking exhaustion. Carol just rolled her eyes behind Jordan.</p><p> </p><p>Sasha laughed along with Richie and then looked down at the card in her hand which consisted of a bunch of questions. "So, Richie, let's get right into it." Sasha said while softly clearing her throat. Richie just silently nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"First of all! Your fans have been so worried about you, no posts, no tweets. Nothing? Where have you been, my friend?" Sasha said placing her hand on Richie's leg in a friendly way. She was one of Carol's favorite interviewers as she never pushed any kind of questions or made assumptions about her interviewee, she kept it real, pure, and genuine.</p><p> </p><p>"I had to go back to my hometown, Derry." Richie responded calmly</p><p> </p><p>"Where is that?" Sasha asked curiously since she had never heard of the place before.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was known to be a very secretive comedian, which was very against his usual oversharing and boisterous nature. All of Richie's fans and media barely knew anything of his past. They had known that he had come to LA in his early years and had gotten into comedy almost right off the bat but no one really knew anything about his younger days or his childhood.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had never really shared anything personal. So now it was strange that he didn't feel any kind of inhibitions towards sharing his life.</p><p> </p><p>"Maine, a small and creepy town with man-eating clowns roaming around like they own the place, don't ever go there Sash, very boring." Eddie shook his head next to Carol while glaring at Richie after he said that.</p><p> </p><p>Sasha laughed a little taking the clown part as just a joke since she knew about Richie's obviously disturbing jokes.</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm, interesting... Even famous Author William Denbrough is from Derry too isn't he?" Sasha asked with curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah! The fella was my childhood friend, still is! Used to call him Big Bill. He was like a leader. You know the famous Architect, Ben Hanscom, another one of my friends... Fashion Designer Beverly Marsh too!... and then Eddie, he is right there." Richie pointed at the man sitting a little away from Richie beside Carol, who slid down in his chair, "even our two other friends, Mike Hanlon and Stanley Uris, rest in peace... all 6 of us... called ourselves the Losers Club... Let me tell you Sasha, mad crazy we were... Holy lord, Nostalgia hitting hard." Richie said excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>This is honestly the most anyone had ever really heard Richie talking about his childhood days. It was definitely very shocking and Sasha was happy that she has finally got some great material to work with.</p><p> </p><p>"No way Rich, almost all of your friends are famous, huh? Derry surely produces a shit ton of talent-"</p><p> </p><p>"and a shit ton of shit." Richie quickly added and he looked at Eddie and mumbled "Staph infection" while giving him a big lopsided smile.</p><p> </p><p>"...moving on!" Sasha quickly said when she saw the time as they only had 20 minutes.</p><p> </p><p>"What were you doing in Derry? You looked as if you had left quite in a hurry!"</p><p> </p><p>"To answer that question, I was in Derry as I had a reunion with the lads and lass, and I also had to manage some property. The reason why I had left in a hurry was that after twenty- seven fucking years I get a call from this guy called Mike Hanlon saying that the Losers are reuniting so I had to go, I mean, come on. After all, we all had promised." Sasha noticed a loving glint in Richie's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>She nodded and went ahead with another question, "And! This has been the most burning question of all time!! Are you finally locked down?"</p><p> </p><p>"WHAT… no, not right now... I don't think I want relationships at this point cause I'm perfectly fine with myself and my friends. Relationships seem exhausting so I'm good." Richie answered cleverly as he looked at Carol and received an acceptable smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Any woman... or man, that you are interested in?"</p><p> </p><p>"Nope... the only person I was ever interested in was my love, who died a few years back, rest in peace Eddie's mom." Richie laughed and Eddie just rolled his eyes again. "I'm kidding... I'm kidding"</p><p> </p><p>"Now, on a more serious note, rumors were going around about you Rich, have you ever abused drugs?" Sasha asked softly to not seem threatening or as if she was putting the comedian on spot. It has been one of the biggest rumors going around the industry for quite some time.</p><p> </p><p>Carol felt herself tense up, where the fuck did that come from? She hadn't even prepared Richie for this! She obviously knew about this but it had completely slipped from her mind to mention it to Richie. Ever since he had suddenly disappeared people had made some while accusations about his disappearance.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked down at his hands which slightly shook. He knew he could never let the truth come out.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah... I have abused drugs..." He said softly.</p><p> </p><p>Carol's eyes widened and so did Eddie's... It was the truth though. Richie had been doing drugs a few years back... he was at a very stressful place and it had all started from his early teens itself, the smoking, weed... he even got on heroin during high school and it all just increased and increased...</p><p> </p><p>Carol had helped him through everything. She kept it away from the media’s eyes and managed everything for her best friends. He wasn't just her employer he meant a lot to Carol. Only a few years back, maybe 5, had Richie finally given drugs up entirely and stuck to smoking only.</p><p> </p><p>"Damn right I abuse drugs!!" Richie said with confidence. Sasha's eyes widened too in surprise as she had never thought that she will get such a confident answer, while Carol simply wanted to slit Riche's throat. Eddie himself had no words.</p><p> </p><p>"I see a drug and beat the fuck out of it," Richie punched the air with an angry look, "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY TURF DRUG!" He almost yelled and let out a howl of laughter. The others laughed along with him and Carol had never been more relieved.</p><p> </p><p>After that Sasha wrapped up the interview with some easy-going questions and statements and bid a good day to all of them and left with her cameraman, Jordon. The moment they had left and Eddie had shut the door, Carol got up from her place on the couch and praised him for handling the drug situation so perfectly while Eddie remained in confusion wondering what it all was even about.</p><p> </p><p>Carol had ordered pizza for lunch since none of them were in a mood to cook or go out. They had all silently sat in front of the large TV and munched on the pizza while watching some random TV show.</p><p> </p><p>After they finished eating Richie got up and stretched a little and walked upstairs claiming that he was going to nap for a few hours because he was exhausted. Carol followed him up the stairs towards her bedroom so that she could slip herself into more comfortable clothes.</p><p> </p><p>When she came downstairs, she noticed that Eddie was not on the couch anymore. She looked around and found him sitting next to the pool. His head hung low and his shoulders were slouched. She sat beside him and noticed a strange expression on Eddie. Both of them had gotten quite close to each other in the past few weeks that Eddie had been here.</p><p> </p><p>Carol put her hand on his shoulder as she sat down. "What happened? You okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Eddie's voice sounded very distressed but he forced a smile on his face while saying that.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know, you just seem... uh... dull ever since the interview." Carol was right. Eddie seemed to be deep in his thoughts and wasn't really talking much during the time they all very having lunch.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm worried about Rich..." He said after a long pause.</p><p> </p><p>"Worried 'bout Rich? Why would you be worried 'bout that weirdo?" Carol joked.</p><p> </p><p>"He just seems so secretive and he changes topics about so many of our conversation, I feel like he hates me or something like he just doesn't trust me." Eddie's voice sounded wounded</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Eddie, come on... It's not like that, he loves you and I'm sure about that! Richie is just that way, but believe me... he is too boring to have any secrets... Known him for 26 years!! Continuously!! Very straining though. Wonder how you all handled his little self." Carol laughed a little trying to lighten the mood.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie chuckled along with Carol but then the serious look crept back.</p><p> </p><p>"Drugs... did Richie do drugs?" Eddie questioned. During the interview, when the question was asked by Sasha, Eddie had noticed Carol tense up and starting to panic. He also noticed the way Richie just dodged the question and changed the topic.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm- Eddie don't hate him for it..." Carol started trying to protect her best friend. She knew how hurt would Richie be if Eddie stated hated him.</p><p> </p><p>"Did he or did he not?" Eddie asked firmly</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah... but he is okay now, he went through a bad time" Carol reasoned with him.</p><p> </p><p>"When... and what happened to him?" Concern was growing on Eddie's face now.</p><p> </p><p>"Back in high school, maybe when he was 17 or 18 till he was 32, but I helped him through it, so don't worry about him he is okay now!" Carol said gently</p><p> </p><p>"The asshole used to smoke every plant when we were 13, trying to find weed, even smoked with Bevy every day, but I never thought he'd go that far." Eddie said softly</p><p> </p><p>"Hey…" Carol placed her hand on Eddie's "...He is okay... I managed it, kinda my job you know." She said with a small laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm so thankful to you, he is an asshole but still one of my best friends no matter how shitty he can be. I am just so happy he had someone to look out for him."</p><p> </p><p>He was unknowingly leaning in towards Carol now. There was this unsaid magnetic force and tension, it felt good in a way. Carol too moved closer.</p><p> </p><p>Before anything else could happen Carol suddenly moved behind and told Eddie again that Richie is fine, she informed him that she had to take her afternoon nap and left hurriedly.</p><p> </p><p>Memories of her teenage days filled her mind. That day when Richie told her his story...</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <strong>
        <em>***********</em>
      </strong>
    </b>
  </span>
</p><p>        </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. You made me fall in love with you..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Memories are always bittersweet.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We wrote this chapter to give you an insight of one of our best character..</p><p>We hope you like it.</p><p>This chapter was written by my sister and edited by me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>        </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Strawberries and Cigarettes' by Troye Sivan</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>18th July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Carol sat back and closed her eyes. She could remember the bittersweet memory as if it had happened yesterday. Every girl remembers her heartbreak. A true heartbreak. That day she hurt a lot. But still, she was happy for Richie.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>******flashback******</em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>23rd November 1994</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Carol's childhood home</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie fell back down on his bed and looked at Carol next to him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Wow, who knew an asshole like you could actually be even moderately good at sex." She said turning around to face Richie who himself was completely flushed red and slightly panting.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ah well, you don't really know me that well then! And you too have been exceptional for your five hundredth time with me, Carol Feeney!" Richie said sounding formal as he faked a British accent.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Took you long enough to even go for it Tozier" She whispered as she turned on her side towards Richie and placed a soft yet passionate kiss on his lips...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>After dating for 5 months Richie had finally decided to go for it even though his heart wasn't ready, his mind kept telling him that things will get easier if he went for it... didn't really work- this was probably the thousandth time they had the extreme intimate moment yet he was sure that guys...yes THE MALE SPECIES!...........</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The strangest thing was that these two got along differently, even if it was all just fun and playful... It seemed platonic all the time. At least for Richie. He just couldn't feel what he wished to feel so desperately.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>After almost a whole 5 minutes of silence, the duo dressed themselves and Richie sat on the bed with his legs folded and looked straight into Carol's eyes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She also sat up and scooted closer to him as she took his hand in her own and smiled at him," What is it?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You are so amazing Carol" He whispered to her in the most serious and real way. She took his hand close to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on his palm. "You are too, but you still get on my nerves sometimes" The two chuckled.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Both of them were sitting in a dark room with the bed messed up just like their hair. The clothes were scattered on the floor along with the shoes and books. The room seemed so heavy and warm at this point, the stench of sex still seemed to linger in the air and the tension Richie just created made it even hotter.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What's wrong?" Carol asked when not even a single word had been exchanged between them for over a minute.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You know I love you..." He finally said.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, and I love you too" Carol quickly added.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I... something is not right." Richie spoke gently</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"W-what happened Rich? Just say it." Carol felt herself tense up. She did love this idiot more than anyone in her life, she knew him for a year and it was definitely the best one year of her life. Richie was such a fun person to be around... eccentric yet perfect.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Just don't hate me." Richie whispered</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I literally just said that I love you too idiot."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie took a minute as five thousand things stormed in his brain. Should he tell her, should he keep this act up, would doing so hurt her more than telling her the truth? Would he lose her too just like he lost all of his real friends?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Carol let go of him and put her hand on his cheek, slightly tilted her head sideways, and looked at him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Just say what you need to Rich, It's okay..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He took in a deep breath and decided to just say it real quick and get over it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I pheww this is harder than I thought it would be-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't tell me you started another shitty rumor? How many times do I have to clear those up for you?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"N-no.."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Spill it Tozier I don't have time for this, my friends will be back here any moment."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm gay-" He almost yelled out in tension. This second, he just wanted to get buried alive by dogs.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Carol suddenly punched him on his nose.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What the fuck-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You asshole" Tears were already filling up in her eyes. Richie started freaking out 'wait... she is homophobic- I'm dead'</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Carol I'm so sorry- you never seemed the homophobic type." Richie himself felt his eyes well up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Shut up TOZIER! I'm not homophobic but you are an IDIOT!!" Tears streamed out of her eyes. She had fallen in love.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUNCH ME HUH, BABE RUTH"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"CAUSE I FUCKING-..." She stopped herself from yelling and took a second to breathe in trying to reign in her emotions, " Cause you made me fall in love with you"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm s-sorry, I didn't know-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Just stop speaking and answer me. Why the fuck did you even ask me out at first then? And kept us going for a whole year when I dumped you twice before? Why did we just have goddaMN SEX IF YOU ARE GAY???"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie tried calming himself and her down by putting her face between his palms, " I don't know, I hate this... but I love us... I hate being like this and... I haven't told anyone, I had only told dad and he is gone too, I just... I did dumb things, okay, I know I did..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The two just sat there in utter deaden silence, both trying to absorb what had just happened. After about five minutes Carol told Richie to leave and so he did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>***************</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>18th July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>She had stayed up all night that day thinking about every single thing that they had done together, she questioned everything and at that second, she hated Richie more than she ever thought she could. He basically played with her feelings although it was partially involuntary.</p><p> </p><p>It took her 4 months to come back to him. They talked things out and decided to remain friends although it was so so difficult for her and almost impossible to comprehend.</p><p> </p><p>And by now, after almost 22 years... they were completely back to normal. She had done everything to let go of that usual taste of Richie's lips like cigarettes, his gentle touch, his sticky notes on her dorm's door, their late-night talk, the best make-out session of theirs in a cab, basically everything they had in that 1 year of dating.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, it still sucked cause you can never truly get over someone you once fell completely and undeniably in love with. But this was Richie Tozier, and even just being friends more like BEST FRIENDS with him satisfied her enough and now she could not ever imagine hurting him.</p><p> </p><p>She did hold his deepest secrets... but the deepest of all was the love he had for Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>As Carol fell back upon her bed, she looked blankly at the ceiling trying to absorb what had happened just in this same minute.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie got all personal, leaned forward, looked at Carol's lips-</p><p> </p><p>Why was it going this way?</p><p> </p><p>She found the man lovely too, almost completely the kind of person she would prefer being romantically involved in, but what stopped her was so much deeper.</p><p> </p><p>Carol had been told the entire story about the 'clown town' by Richie when he had moved to LA and had gotten close to her... Even though he didn't himself remember much. She had only believed him because of that awfully serious look and even the slight tears.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was left scratching his head beside the pool. He had almost kissed her. He was so glad that she pulled away, he would regret it. Hated himself for moving on so fast. For the past few days, he had realized that he hadn't really thought about Myra. It had been a while since his late wife's memories crossed his mind.</p><p> </p><p>Usually, all he could remember was her nagging at him for having his medicine and coddling him as if he was still a child. But right now none of those memories flashed in front of his eyes, now he remembered when he had first met her.</p><p> </p><p>Even though it was forced since his mother had set it up he had enjoyed his first date with her. He could see the bright smile on her face in the back of his mind, he remembered how happy she looked in her white dress. He did feel happy that day. She truly loved him. All the 17 years that they had been married she loved him dearly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had been feeling very strange these days. He had snapped at Richie more times than he could count. It was not in annoyance it was plain anger.</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>**********</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. No sexual jokes on the dinner table.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reunions are always in order and Richie has the dirtiest mouth.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Idk if I need to put this like warning but just know that there are a lot of dirty jokes in this chapter. Beware children you have been warned.</p><p>So guys I hope you all liked this chapter.</p><p>This one was written and edited by me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>        </p><p>
  <b><em>Sunkissed by Khai Dreams</em> </b>
</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>18th July, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p>Richie stretched out in his bed after a long nap. He felt well-rested and refreshed after today's interview. He got up from the bed and ran his hand through his head trying to tame his hair a little. It was almost six in the evening.</p><p> </p><p>When he walked down the stairs, he could hear Eddie on the phone. By the time he reached the bottom of the steps, Eddie had already cut the phone and was running his hand through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>"What's wrong Ed-kinns?" Richie asked with a smirk on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh god!! You and your nicknames. When the hell will they stop?" Eddie sighed out. He was so used to them by now that they had stopped bothering him completely.</p><p> </p><p>"Never... That's the point Eddie-bear. So, tell me what's going on?" Richie asked while leaning against a wall.</p><p>"Remember a few days back I had gone for an interview. They called me a while back and you know what! they said that I was overqualified. Fucking overqualified. Is that even a thing? Overqualified my ass." Eddie ranted out.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds, you deserve the best possible job according to your degrees and experiences. You don't need to be doing jobs for which others have a more suitable degree." Richie said with a reassuring tone.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow, that's the most intelligent thing I have heard you utter." Eddie looked at Richie with mock surprise lacing his tone.</p><p> </p><p>"I can be sensible too sometimes you know... straight A's bitch! All throughout my school and shit!"</p><p> </p><p>"And yet you had acted like a dumbass all the time. The only thing you were good at was making up lame jokes and giving us terrible nicknames."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, I won't be the nerd at all. So, I had to live up to the expectations of being the person who could get the best laugh out of ya'all. And admit it Eds you love the nicknames." Richie grinned while coming forward and pinching Eddie's cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"Ow!!" Eddie pulled away while rubbing at his cheek, "Asshole"</p><p> </p><p>Carol stepped into the living room and said, "If you both are done being weird let's go eat before my stomach eats me."</p><p> </p><p>"Carol honey, if you want, instead of your stomach, I can offer." Richie said with a huge smirk on his face while Eddie looked horrified.</p><p> </p><p>"Ewww... gross. You are such a pain in my ass, Richie." Carol spat out while walking back into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>"Of course, you know that, Darling... I am too much to take... We never did it that way." Richie sat on the dining table and leaned on his elbows.</p><p> </p><p>"Carol, I feel bad for you. Richie, no sexual jokes on the dinner table." Eddie said while smacking the back of Richie's head.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't know him when he was in college. All the time he would keep joking around and to make it worse all his jokes were either about sex or his dick. It was annoying."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I can imagine. He used crack jokes like those in school, I can assume how much worse they would in college."</p><p> </p><p>"Worse? You wound me Eds!" Richie stated while placing a hand over his heart., "My jokes are fantastic. So fantastic that now people come and pay me for them."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah, whatever."</p><p> </p><p>Carol placed their plates, piled with spaghetti, in front of them and grabbed her own as she sat down beside Eddie. Eddie grabbed a fork twirled some of the pasta and put it in his mouth. He nearly moaned at the flavor.</p><p> </p><p>"Jesus Carol! This is fantastic. It tastes so good." Eddie said while looking at the pasta in fascination.</p><p> </p><p>"Hah I had no idea you like spaghetti that much. If I had known I would have made it sooner." Carol beamed.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took another spoon of spaghetti and was just about to put it in his mouth when Richie looked at Eddie and laughed.</p><p> </p><p>"Cannibalism." Carol laughed a little and Eddie glared at Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"You are a massive dick, Richie. When will you let me live in peace."</p><p> </p><p>"Eds come on, you got your words mixed up. I am not a massive dick; I have a massive dick."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie groaned loudly at his friend's foolishness. "I said no more dick jokes on the dinner table"</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the dinner was mostly silent except for a few occasional sounds of small talks and the clanging of the cutlery.</p><p> </p><p>"So, I was thinking...-" Richie started.</p><p> </p><p>"Richie is thinking what a miracle." Carol retorted.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah what a shocker." Eddie chimed in...</p><p> </p><p>"See now you both are bullying me. Whatever. What I was going to say is that I was hoping that why not call the other Losers over. You know for a party sort of thing. Like an actual reunion and not the one that involves child-eating clowns and sewage water.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait what..." Eddie gave Richie a look saying "what the fuck- Carol is HeRe"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I know... don't worry." Carol said giving a small smile and tapping the top of his hand gently.</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm well then...That's not a bad idea. I didn't know that you were capable of coming up with such good ideas, Rich." Eddie smirked.</p><p> </p><p>"Be careful Ed-kinns, dont tempt me I will just give you more nicknames, my spagheds." Richie said with a lopsided grin on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. We have enough space for your friends here, Rich." Carol said</p><p> </p><p>"Well, then I guess we will go call them." Richie said while picking his and Eddie's plate up and then pulled him out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah and I can do the cleaning..." Carol muttered with sarcasm lacing her tone.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks Carol!! I knew you would...." Richie said with a cheeky smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie just laughed and when he turned back to help her Carol just pushed him out saying that she will manage it.</p><p> </p><p>Both the men went out of Richie's house on the porch where each of them sat and started dialing very unfamiliar numbers of familiar people.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie took up to calling Ben and Beverly while Richie called Bill and Mike. Eddie was not very surprised when Ben's phone was picked up by Beverly and he told her the entire plan about the Losers meeting up again at Richie's place. Beverly confirmed that they will leave as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>Richie chatted on with Bill and even told him to get his wife too. Richie had mentioned something along the lines of how hot she was and he had no idea how Big Bill scored such a beauty. Bill was so excited that while being on the phone itself, he had started looking up tickets and didn't even say anything to Richie for commenting on his wife.</p><p> </p><p>After talking to Bill, Richie called up Mike, who was still getting all of his things together in Derry. Mike didn't want to leave Derry without his books and a few of his personal belongings so he had decided to stay back for a while to pack them up.</p><p> </p><p>To say that the Losers were excited to meet up again without another issue called Pennywise popping up was definitely an understatement.</p><p> </p><p>All the adults were thrilled to do the classic stuff of reunions. Even if they didn't have a particular interest in those things.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>25th July, 2016</em> </b>
</p><p>Within a week the entire Losers club had reunited at Richie's house. Audra couldn't make it because she was still busy with her movie's shooting and also had to be there with her parents who needed aid.</p><p> </p><p>There were a lot of jokes and banters and poking fun at each other all the time. Richie's house had never felt so lively before. There was always something going on.</p><p> </p><p>Even when Richie would come home from work it was now not just Eddie waiting for him but also all of his best friends. Carol got along with everyone very easily while she told them countless stories of Richie college and how all the girls and guys actually drooled over him. She had even shown him the pictures of Richie with a guitar at a school concert.</p><p> </p><p>"No WAY- Richie can't be that guY.. he is OUR weirdo, geeky, dirty-mouthed bastard!" Beverly had said seeing Richie performing a song with his high school band. The electric guitar, Indie vibes, screaming crowd everything seemed to fit Richie perfectly somehow.</p><p> </p><p>"So, you were once upon a time... actually hot huh? what the fuck happened now man?" Eddie said giggling in his most adornment-filled way.</p><p> </p><p>"Aging..." Bill said shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>They all had been here for 3 days now and they had still not run out of things to talk about</p><p> </p><p>The Losers were sitting on the couch with their dinner a random horror movie playing on the screen. The movie was almost forgotten because of how much the entire group was talking to each other.</p><p> </p><p>None of them could remember the last time when they had sat together to talk about such mundane things without having to worry about Pennywise.</p><p> </p><p>Ben and Beverly had taken up one side of the couch and were cuddled together under the blanket. Ben's arm was slung around her shoulders as he held her close to him like he was afraid that someone would take her away.</p><p> </p><p>On the other side of the couch, Bill recounted the time Ben had given Beverly the sweet poem and Beverly had thought that it was Bill who had given it to her.</p><p> </p><p>Richie and Mike were sprawled on the floor in from of the couch and occasionally Richie poked jokes at all of them and most of the time received a smack on his head.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was seated on a single armchair fiddling with his wedding ring. He felt a small pang of sadness as he saw the happy couple. Even though he and Myra weren't like that at all but still they did love each other.</p><p> </p><p>They cared for the other. Seeing them made him miss Myra even more.</p><p> </p><p>Carol was seated on the armchair beside Eddie. She looked towards him to ask him why had become so quiet but instead, she stopped when she saw the sadness on his face and understood its origin. She patted his knees and gave him a small reassuring smile. Eddie forced a smile at her.</p><p> </p><p>After a while, all of them had become quite exhausted since they had been out exploring in the city. One by one each one of them got up from their places and put their dishes away and retired to their beds for the night.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b> <em>*******</em> </b> </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Just be who you wanna be...be proud Rich</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Richie's is hit by train of Memories related to Stan...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So guys sorry for the flashbacks popping up in the chapter like this but I hope you all know how important they were...</p><p>We hope you like this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>Best Friend by Rex Orange County</b>
  </em>
</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------<br/><b></b></p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <strong>29th July, 2016</strong>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>After a long night of rest, the entire house woke up well that was apart Richie. The man slept more than anyone. The entire house was bustling with noise and activity.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone stood in the kitchen doing something or the other. Whether it be whisking batter or frying eggs and bacon or going at the coffee or tea. Due to having so many people in the house, making food of any kind was like a feast.</p><p> </p><p>"Woah! I forgot how many of you all were here!" Richie exclaimed as he stood near the entrance of the kitchen. All of them just shook their heads and carried on with their work.</p><p> </p><p>After another 30 minutes of cooking and laying the table, the Losers and Carol sat at the table. The room silenced as everyone was busy enjoying their food.</p><p> </p><p>The room filled up with occasional soft conversations and the clicking of cutlery. The calmness of the morning was broken when Bill suddenly spoke out, "I think we should go visit Stan's wife."</p><p> </p><p>"Patty?" Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>Bill nodded in an answer as his mouth was occupied with the delicious soufflé pancake Richie made.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't think I'd even know what to say to her... would she be lost.. confused?" Mike said thoughtfully as he cut into his pancake.</p><p> </p><p>"We should go. I want to know what he was like when he got older.</p><p> </p><p>What he looked like? What JOB HE HAD!!" Eddie said.</p><p> </p><p>"Scout cookies seller or bird watcher is my first guess. Or he was probably just famous for not having a dick." Richie poked in.</p><p> </p><p>"You've got to be fucking kidding me RICH- you even gotta poke the ones who have passed away- Have some shame and sympathy..." Carol nudged him.</p><p> </p><p>"Richie has this wise mouth and his face which just begs to be pounded into a new and exciting shape every fucking second." Eddie adds.</p><p> </p><p>Bill simply rolled his eyes and spoke, "We'll go as soon as we can... which is probably months- we have to book flights..."</p><p> </p><p>"No don't worry... we'll just take my jet... faster and cheaper!" Ben said with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>"You have a fucking JET-" Richie said with astonishment written all over his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah... thought you knew. Never mind. I'll just call it here... to the nearest airport or something. I'll manage it 'kay..."</p><p> </p><p>Ben always felt such happiness helping anyone out as it made him feel important and loved for some unsaid reason. All his life he lived in the shadows and finally he had his time to be who he always craved to be.</p><p> </p><p>As Richie sat in silence eating the pancakes, he thought of every SINGLE moment he could think of that he spent with Stan. Stanley made him feel the brotherly-ness that he never ever felt with anyone else. And that is when the memories came flooding in.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>***** flashback****</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <strong>(War</strong>
    </b>
  </em>
  <em>
    <b>
      <strong>ning: Homophobic slur)</strong>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Richie's fingers kept retracing the 'E' engraved by him in the wood on the kissing bridge.</em> <em>He just sat there staring at the initials he carved in, thinking about why was everything the way it was for him. Why was he into him that way?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Eddie was like that only ray of light on a rainy day, for him, while Richie felt like he was a dark cloud on a sunny day as the world went about normally with kids playing around gleefully, adults talking business and gossiping. Even the losers going on about their day like nothing and Richie just being there obsessing over his best friend and flirting freely in the gayest way possible.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Thoughts of Eddie made him emotional at times which made him punish himself for crying over not having Eddie, a boy, as his own.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Life couldn't have gotten any worse for me." He usually thought about that when somebody bullied him for his apparent 'homo' vibe which was never noticed by the Losers not even Eddie himself towards whom it was completely directed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He had been sitting at the bridge for almost an hour now, next to two grocery bags and his cycle, completely unbothered about the melted ice cream his mom asked for, specifically with brownies. His mum would surely be worried by now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"The fuck are you doing here 'Chee?" Richie almost had a minor panic attack hearing the very familiar voice of his best-est friend.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He turned around casually, trying to remain chill, and looked up with his brown eyes still glazed with tears.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Stan the man! What are you doing here yourself?" Richie asked, he noticed his own voice sounding shaky and nervous.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He fiddled with the edges of his shirt's sleeve, afraid that Stanley might just end up finding Richie's 'deepest darkest secret'.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"The Kissing Bridge Rich?" Stan retorted. While he was going back to his own house after bird watching cause he heard rumors about a nightingale spotting, he took this shortcut for the first time. He saw his friend sitting on the ground and staring at the wood with a billion carvings on it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He walked slowly to see what it was all about and noticed the initials over which Richie had been tracing his fingers, an 'R+E', which confirmed his entire theory.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Richie is and had been in love with Eddie ever since he laid eyes on the brunette for the first time at the age of 9'. At that point, Richie looked so vulnerable. Stan definitely cared a lot about Richie even if the boy was the most annoying person on the planet.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It was all making sense now for Stan- the constant flirting, the want for Eddie's attention, the caring behavior, that 'look' in his eyes, saying 'I love you' so thoughtfully, sticking with the shorter one, EVERYTHING.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan gave him a questionable look.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I… uh- feel… yeah I fucking fell and twisted my stupid foot now I'm left with only two working legs." Richie lied slowly getting his voice back.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Two? Didn't know you were so pathetic at math Tozier."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Oh, Staniel... how innocent of you! My dick is so big that it's literally a 3rd leg and it is soooo-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"BEEP FUCKING BEEP RICHIE." Stan almost yelled as Richie sneakily shifted trying to cover up his 'artwork' on the wood.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stanley sat down next to him shifting the cycle. He realized that it was probably time for the truth to come out, at-least for Stan himself.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The two had been best friends since they were three. Literally brothers! 'What's the point of hiding' Stan thought. On top of that, he was completely cool with Richie feeling that way. Although, yes it will be a little to get used to eventually everything would be fine.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Well, later Alexander Wilson... I havta get home." Richie imitated an Australian.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Rich..is there something you feel like sharing? Cause we are like best friends I know you well enough to know that you are hiding something… hiding for a REALY long time." Stanley said carefully shifting closer to Richie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't know what you are talking about Stanner but I gotta get home!" The nervousness was so impossible to hide. Richie was getting a little worried, trying to escape the place.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie stood up trying to leave hoping that Stan's eyes don't fall upon the engraved letters.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Sit the hell down 'Chee I saw what you carved..." Stan said leaving Richie frozen next to his bike.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When he still didn't reply Stan continued, "You like Eddie?" Stan was never the one to beat around the bush. He had always been direct. It was a very admirable quality but now Richie wanted to kill him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Still silence.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It doesn't matter Rich, nothing to be worried about, honestly I get strange thoughts too sometimes."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We're not talking..." Richie said in a voice nobody had ever heard. He seemed ashamed and tired... Tired of feeling 'feelings'. He seemed scared and quiet. He walked towards his bike.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>He sat on his bike and was just about to take off when Stan hurried over to him and grabbed the cycle's seat.</em> <em>Richie felt his cheeks get warm and tears filled up inside again. He built up the worst scenarios in his head.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It's alright… really Rich! We still love you and it's fine!" Stan tried to reassure the boy who seemed to crumble in front of him</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm not a faggot okay! I just-… just-" Richie try to speak.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Shut up Richie. It is completely okay! And don't use that term. It's very offensive, ass hole."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie knew that there was nothing that could be done now. The truth was out and he realized that without somebody at least knowing he would end up dying because of holding something so 'crazy' in him. He got off the bike and turned to Stan with his head hung low as he whispered, "I'm sorry" there was that crack in the voice right before the gush of tears.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan immediately wrapped his arms around him and whispered many "it’s okay"'s, "don't be sorry", "shh Richie" and "doesn't matter".</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie cried his eyes out into Stan's comforting shoulders and after calming down Stanley pulled away and looked directly into Richie's and said, "Just be who you wanna be... be proud Rich."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Those were the words that Richie never forgot. Even as he forgot all the things that had been going on in Derry there was this one statement that he never failed to hear this line in his head of which he had no idea about the origin and reason.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*****flashback ends***</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Another memory that stuck with him all these years...It was his literal first kiss-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*******flashback********</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't fucking complain afterward Staniel" Richie stated shifting towards Stan on the bed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Shut the fuck up... I know that I won't be the one to complain." Stan said with agitation.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Why did we even plan to do this… oh wait... STAN THE MAN HAD THIS IDEA! why not kiss WOW STANIEL WOW!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"The point is not the kiss 'Chie... It's to see if it seems.... feels... good? I guess." Stan replies with clear confusion in his own words.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Why don't you just kiss Billy himself!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"And why don't you just go and casually kiss Eddie, by doing so revealing that you are into him!" Stanley cried out.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A week back or two, Stan had revealed to Richie saying that he felt something for Bill, yet he liked girls too... he felt like a ball of confusion all by himself. So, he decided to tell Richie hoping that things feel better... and it actually did seem much better. He found this unsaid comfort in Richie's company now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Let's just get over with it quickly... okay!" Stan said when Richie continued the awkward silence.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie just nodded and shifted even closer to Stan.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here's what troubled Stan... he still felt different emotions than Richie. Stan liked only Bill… just that one single boy, unlike Richie who pretty much felt attracted to other guys too except Eddie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan tried to accept it and hope that it all moves on quickly from this phase.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stan too leaned in closer now. As his eyes fluttered shut so did Richie's. They both felt filled with anxiety and nervousness when they felt each other’s breath on their skin.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Their lips collided almost immediately when Stan pulled Richie's face to his own. The two shared a kiss, partially with passion and partially with disgust as they always only had that brotherly bond.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They broke apart in only 5 seconds.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie was the one to break the silence first after he noticed that agape look on Stanley's face.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Yeah... I know... it's probably just me." Richie looked down at his hand in his lap.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hey... It's okay... you were fine" Stan immediately said.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Wow no... NO, I was fucking awesome! I just overwhelmed you buddy" Richie boasted with his usual smirk crawling back on his face.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You are such a fucking ASSHOLE!" Stan said while laughing himself.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>The two spent the day laughing about the whole situation as they realized how stupid it actually seemed. The two were more than brothers... they were the purest form of a family the two ever had</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>******flashback ends********</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <strong>
        <span class="u">********</span>
      </strong>
    </b>
  </em>
</p><p>        </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Ah.. fuck, he got his stutter back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Loser's finally go and visit Stan's wife Patty...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So what do you think happened...</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and my sister</p><p>             </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>The Story by Conan Gray</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>--------------------------------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>29th July, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie looked over at Richie who had a sort of a glazed-over look in his eyes. Richie was completely lost in his thoughts. Eddie poked Richie's side to get his attention.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, where did you go??" Eddie asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>He was gentle with Richie regarding anything related to Stan. He knew how close they were. The Losers Club was close with each other but Richie was much closer to Stan than anyone else. His death had taken a huge toll on Richie arguably more than Eddie's.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked over at Eddie and gave him a small smile, "Yeah Eds, I'm fine."</p><p> </p><p>During the time Richie was lost in his thought the rest of them had worked out a lot of details for the visit. Ben's jet was going to come to the nearest airport with his trusted staff in 3 days and they were scheduled to reach in 12 hours in Atlanta and it would take them an hour to reach Stan's and Patty's house.</p><p> </p><p>After working out this detail, Beverly called Patricia to ask her if it was okay for all of them to come to her house. She had very graciously agreed to let them come over.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>**********</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>1st August 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>The day before was a lot of chaos. All of them were trying to get decent clothes and Richie was being Richie. He would poke fun at them while they would pack or move around their stuff. Finally, all their things were packed up, and were standing near the doorway of the house.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning Eddie was in charge of waking everyone up and getting them out of the door in time. Within 3 hours, all of them were settled in the jet and almost ready for the take-off. They were all surprised by the simplicity of the jet.</p><p> </p><p>It looked modern and sleek and all the machinery and parts were painted in a black and white color palette. They were comfortable in all their seats by the time the jet took off. Occasional banter surrounded them during the 12-hour flight. They would drift in and out of naps while talking amongst each other.</p><p> </p><p>For the last one hour of the flight, Ben and Eddie were in an interesting conversation about Ben's intriguing architectural style of work, Beverly and Richie had dozed off with Bev's head resting on Richie's shoulder and Bill and Mike were discussing about what Mike was planning to do later.</p><p> </p><p>During landing, one of the crew member's announcement caught all their attention as they buckled up their seatbelts. They were greeted with 2 cars which were quite comfortable for the one-hour long drive.</p><p> </p><p>All of them had arrived at the hotel since they were planning to stay over there itself. Patricia had asked them to come over for lunch the day after since they knew that all of them would be exhausted from the flight.</p><p> </p><p>After a good night's rest in their respective rooms, all of them woke up pretty late. They all got dressed and set out to get to Stan's house.</p><p> </p><p>To say that they were surprised would be an understatement. They were utterly shocked. They knew that their friend was very well off and living quite a happy and comfortable life. His house had a very medieval look but with quite a modern twist. It was a lot like Stan's style.</p><p> </p><p>Patricia seemed more than perfect for Stanley, her eyes lit up every time she spoke of him.</p><p> </p><p>"I swear he would never stop talking about all of you, especially you Bill, and oh there was this one time when we went to the library and pointed at your book and just went on talking, what wonderful years you all must have had, and Stan, honestly, quite a down person, but the way he lit up, that light burning right behind his eyes, loved all of you with all of his heart...Why am I telling you all this, of course, you'd know! but now that I met you all, the infamous Losers club, all together, complete! It's lovely- oh it's all sO lovely!"</p><p> </p><p>By the time she finished speaking her eyes welled up in tears and Mike rushed out to give her his handkerchief, in which she buried her face in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>"Well we are not The Losers Club without Staniel, am I right! but I know he will curse at me for being sappy, that idiot was my best guy..." Richie said, rubbing Patty's back in comfort, the others nodded with grief, she looked up and gave them the nicest smile as her eyes still glistened with tears.</p><p> </p><p>"I've known him for almost more than 20 years and in all this time I saw him the happiest when he thought of you guys, I cannot tell you how important and nice it is that you all are here, for him... it's just so so sweet...I ca-... thank you... all of you, so much." Patty said as her voice shook and broke.</p><p> </p><p>"The few years I knew him, and Ben and Bev, he was the nicest unlike these jerks-", Mike said and the others let out a little laugh, " He never discriminated or anything! his soul was the purest Patty, and we are all so happy he got to spend his life with you."</p><p> </p><p>All the adults in the room were teary-eyed now, the losers felt like kids again as memories of Stanley Uris flooded in their minds.</p><p> </p><p>Before any other sentiments could be exchanged a phone rang in the room. Bill apologetically looked around and hastily removed his phone from his butt pocket.</p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me-" He said and got up to leave... The room fell silent, the only sound heard was of Bill's indistinct conversation.</p><p> </p><p>After about five minutes he popped back into the room with the biggest grin on his face as he squealed out, "AUDRA IS P-P-PREGNANT!! HOLY FUCKK"</p><p> </p><p>Everybody cheered and congratulated Bill but Richie remained silent... After the chatter went down, Beverly looked at Richie, "Don't you have anything to say 'Chie?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ah fuck, he got his stutter back... shit-" Richie said keeping a straight face (very unlike him but..it izz what it izz).</p><p> </p><p>Everybody exploded into laughter including Bill who actually wanted to punch his skull in but all this ecstasy could get him moving.</p><p> </p><p>He explained how he and Audra had been trying for a child for many years, Eddie and Patricia said that they were too... upon testing with a doctor they got no news of infertility or anything worse. It was so strange and illogical. Mike just knew deep down that this was something related to Pennywise but couldn't say it to them.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry this is such a mess, why don't you all sit for a while huh? I'll prepare some drinks for you all." Patricia sighed as she wiped her happy tears off her face and immediately stood up from her armchair.</p><p> </p><p>Ben got up too and said that he wanted to help her, she kindly agreed.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, could you please tell me where the bathroom is?" Eddie awkwardly questioned.</p><p> </p><p>"Right there..." Patty pointed off into a corner and Eddie nod in thanks and left.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly, Mike, and Bill started talking about their own silly things while Richie looked around quietly.</p><p> </p><p>He noticed the bird painting framed and hung on the walls... Even a picture of Stan was hung up... Richie just wanted to hug his best friend and meet him. Stanley Uris as an adult... He must've been such a great guy, a loving husband, and probably even a perfect dad. That man never got to complete his life and what hurts, even more, was that he took his own life out of fear for the others.</p><p> </p><p>The Losers had received their letters after 2 weeks of the encounter with Pennywise 'The Asshole' Clown. In which they discovered why he did what he did.</p><p> </p><p>"Dear Losers,</p><p>I know what this must seem like, but this is not a suicide note. You're probably wondering why I did what I did. It's because I knew I was too scared to go back. And if we weren't together, if all of us alive weren't united, I knew we all die. So, I made the only logical move. I took myself off the board. Did it work? well, if you're reading this, you know the answer.</p><p> </p><p>I lived my whole life afraid. Afraid of what would come next, afraid of what I might leave behind. 'Don't... Be who you want to be. Be proud. And if you find someone worth holding onto, never let them go. Follow your own path, wherever that takes you. Think of this letter as a promise, a promise I'm asking you to make. To me. To each other. An oath see, the thing about being a loser is you don't have anything to lose. So be true. Be brave. Stand. Believe. And don't ever forget, were losers and we always will be."</p><p> </p><p>This letter was all they had of this older Stan this Stan who loved them more than anyone ever did, the one who cared for them so highly that he gave his own life up.</p><p> </p><p>Richie noticed that only his and Eddie's letter said those few lines... 'Be who you want. Be proud. And if you find someone worth holding onto, never let them go.' He probably thought that Richie might just build up the courage and tell Eddie all he ever felt. These words were also one of the things that pushed Richie to hate himself a little less... these words were even said to him when he was younger... Stan was all he ever had at that time and-</p><p> </p><p>Richie's thoughts were disturbed when he heard a loud yell from where Eddie had gone...RICHIEEEEEE- and that was all he needed to hear as he ran to help his love</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>*******</em>
    </b>
  </span>
  <b></b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. I think Richie is right</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All nightmares come true...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So how was that?</p><p>The story is going to pic up pace from here and the main plot is taking place now.</p><p>But good news Bill and Audra are pregnant...</p><p>One more news from this chapter onwards there will be no edits unfortunately because I have been struggling a lot with school and work...</p><p>This chapter was written and edited by me and I thing so will be all the following chapters.</p><p>For a while this is going to be the last chapter that i have updated. I have some things that are going to be taking some time so there will be no updates for a bit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b><em>Silence by Marshmellow</em></b><br/>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>2nd August 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, could you please tell me where the bathroom is?" Eddie awkwardly questioned.</p><p> </p><p>"Right there.." Patty pointed off into a corner and Eddie nod in thanks and left. He walked quickly towards where Patricia had pointed.</p><p> </p><p>After doing his business he zipped up his jeans and walked the short distance towards the sink. He quickly washed his hand and splashed water on his face when he felt a bead of sweat trailing down on the side of his head.</p><p> </p><p>He picked up a small folded towel kept on the edge of the sink and wiped at his face. As he laid the towel back down on its little table he heard a soft chuckle. He shook his head quickly to erase that 'unreal' sound. When he looked back into the mirror he saw a reflection he dreaded the most, of course, it wasn't himself... Staring at him from the mirror was Pennywise. He had a huge grin on his face that showed his row of razor-sharp yellowed teeth, he had a small trail of blood at the side of his lips dripping down to his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie turned around to see if he was behind him and when he noticed no one he turned to face the mirror again. He saw a panicked expression on Pennywise's face that eerily resembled his own. He brought his hand up to touch his face and in the mirror, he could see the clown doing the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie wasn't staring at the clown, he was staring at himself as Pennywise, the dancing clown. Eddie quickly took a step back from the mirror and vigorously rubbed at his eyes hoping that pom-pom-wearing asshole would disappear.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the image in the mirror pointed towards something. Eddie nervously followed the direction in which Pennywise had pointed. Eddie gasped loudly at what he saw.</p><p> </p><p>There was a messily written 'IT' on the wall. Drops of blood trailed down from the letter onto the edge of the bathtub, mixing into the collected water there. The bathtub was suddenly filled with water and it was rapidly turning red. Nothing could have prepared Eddie for what he saw next.</p><p> </p><p>In the bathtub was lying Stan, a much older Stan. Eddie wouldn't have known that it was him if he hadn't seen the countless pictures of him in the house. Stan's head was leaning back on a rolled towel that was at the head of the tub and his eyes were closed peacefully. If you would have just seen his face he would have looked as if he was sleeping.</p><p> </p><p>Blood swirled around his body staining the water and one of his wrists that was rested on the tub dripped water onto the floor staining it with thick blood. Stan's gold wedding ring was also stained with blood. Then Eddie screamed...</p><p> </p><p>"RICHIEEEEEE"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie fell back as he tried to move away from the horrible scene. Tears filled his eyes as he couldn't stop looking at his dead best friend. His breath was caught in his throat as he gasped loudly. Eddie's heart was racing a million miles a minute and his body shook violently.</p><p> </p><p>The moment Richie heard Eddie's terrifying scream he scrambled to his feet and took off in the direction of the bathroom. Others looked at each other with a panicked expression before promptly getting up and following Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was already at the door furiously trying to open the locked door. He banged his fist against the door loudly as he was able to hear Eddie's loud gasping. Richie's entire heart was drowned in fear, he had already lost Eddie once and he didn't want to ever go through it again.</p><p> </p><p>Patty appeared with a small set of keys grasped in her palm. She quickly handed it over to Richie who jammed it into the lock and pushed the door open. Eddie was slumped right beside the door hyperventilating. His eyes were wide due to absolute terror and his face drenched in sweat.</p><p> </p><p>Richie dropped to his knees near Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Eds, it's me, it's Richie. What is it?" He asked softly to not alarm Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"The-The- There the bathtub... Stan...." Eddie tried to speak but started freaking out even more.</p><p> </p><p>Richie looked up to see nothing there and quickly put both of his hands on Eddie's cheek and turned his face to look at him. Richie's heart clenched painfully at Eddie's expression.</p><p> </p><p>"Eds there is nothing there..." All the others looked at the two crouched males in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>Richie wrapped his right arm tightly around Eddie's waist and slung Eddie's left arm around his shoulder and heaved him up to his feet. Eddie slummed against Richie putting almost all of his weight against Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie walked towards the living room and carefully sat Eddie down on the couch. He had calmed down a lot but was still gasping softly. Beverly kneeled in front of Eddie and held his violently shaking hands while Richie rubbed his back encouragingly trying to calm him.</p><p> </p><p>Bill and Mike looked stunned but went back to the bathroom to check if they could see anything. Ben returned to the living room with Patty as he brought a glass of water and Patty was holding a cup of hot tea.</p><p> </p><p>"Eddie, here take this. You need to have some water." Ben held out the glass for him.</p><p> </p><p>Richie took the glass from Ben's hand when he saw Eddie's shaking hands and held the glass up to Eddie's lips, tipping it a little. Eddie took small sips of water and he finally stopped shaking.</p><p> </p><p>"I think we should all move back a little. Give him some room to breathe." Patricia whispered.</p><p> </p><p>All of them nodded and started to move a little away so that their friend could calm down. Just as Richie started to move away, Eddie wrapped his arm around Richie's wrist and asked him to stay. Richie looked down at him, sat beside him, and started rubbing small circles at the back of his hand.</p><p> </p><p>"You okay there Eds?" Richie asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie gave him a small feeble nod and continued sipping on the tea that Patty and handed to him. The rest of them looked on with concern but then walked towards the dining table where Patty had laid out the table to give some time to Eddie to collect himself.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you say Eds, wanna go and eat because I don't know about you but my stomach is eating itself." Richie while grinning at Eddie. He knew it was a strange time to joke but then he was sure that Eddie doesn't want to talk about what happened just now.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, sure I am starving too," Eddie said while giving Richie a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>Both of them walked towards where the others were sitting and talking amongst themselves. Eddie knew they were talking about him but he didn't say anything or indicate that he knew what they were talking about.</p><p> </p><p>Both Richie and Eddie dragged out the two empty chairs and sat down to eat.</p><p> </p><p>Conversation flowed along with the table where they all continued sharing things about their life. All of them actively stayed away from any distressing topics. Patricia shared a lot of things about Stan that the others had missed.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie continued eating slowly while occasionally sharing a few things of his own. It was almost like the last few minutes hadn't happened other than the dark cloud of tension over Eddie's head.</p><p> </p><p>After an hour and a half, they all bid goodbye to Patty and they went back to their hotel room. Eddie was still in sort of a haze when all of them settled themselves in Eddie's room to ask him about what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>"I saw Pennywise in the mirror-" Eddie started.</p><p> </p><p>"What-"</p><p> </p><p>"How-"</p><p> </p><p>"He's dead-"</p><p> </p><p>All of them started talking over each other till Eddie muttered the next two words.</p><p> </p><p>"- as me."</p><p> </p><p>All of them looked at Eddie with their mouths dropped open. Eddie took their silence as an opportunity to explain everything.</p><p> </p><p>"When I was washing my hands I first heard a chuckle and then I saw Pennywise in the mirror but it was like it wasn't him, it was me and then that image in the mirror pointed towards the bath-tub and... and... that's where I saw St- Stan."</p><p> </p><p>Eddie felt strangely emotionally detached while saying that, it was as if he was just watching himself. He had been feeling pretty weird lately. He would feel the crushing sense of being alone even when he was surrounded by the people he loved and cared about. It felt as if something was missing, a large part of himself that was empty.</p><p> </p><p>The others were still trying to figure out what was Eddie talking about and then Beverly slowly moved forward, towards Eddie, and grabbed his palms, and whispered.</p><p> </p><p>"I know you probably don't want to talk about this but how was Stan looking when you saw him?"</p><p> </p><p>"He was dead Bev, just there in the bathtub. There was so much blood everywhere. He wasn't sad when he died it was almost as if he was content." Eddie muttered.</p><p> </p><p>"It is like how Beverly used to see things in the deadlights. First, you saw Myra's car accident which was the future and then you saw Stan's death which was the past." Mike rushed out. He seemed to be taking the whole situation with a level head.</p><p> </p><p>"But Beverly just saw things that were going to happen in the future, right?" Bill asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah that is one thing but what Eddie saw happening to Myra was the same. So maybe it is almost like Beverly but that is still impossible because Eddie was never caught in the deadlights like Beverly."</p><p> </p><p>"Eddie didn't you say that the deadlights are in you. Well, they came inside you because of your stab wound?" Ben asked looking over at Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie's eyes were unfocused and he had a dazed look on his face, but he still just nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"Does this mean that a small part of Pennywise is now a part of Eddie?" Richie said and Eddie let out a small strangled cry.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey don't say that you dumbass!" Beverly said sharply.</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you sleep for a while Eddie? You should rest, you must be tired." Mike suggested.</p><p> </p><p>Just silently agreed to it and then just as all of them stood up from the bed, Eddie buried himself under the covers. The rest of them walked out of Eddie's room and went across to Beverly and Ben's room.</p><p> </p><p>"As much as I hate to say this, I think Richie is right." Mike muttered with a defeated voice.</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>*********</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. You are never gonna get rid of me, Eddie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Slowly things are changing... some for the better some not..</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So how was that?</p><p>I am sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I was in the middle of exams and now I suppose I have sometime till the next round of them.</p><p>The next chapter will be updated next week...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>All the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>--------------------------------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>2nd August, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"As much as I hate to say this, I think Richie is right." Mike muttered with a defeated voice.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Are you sure?" Beverly asked.</p><p> </p><p>"All signs point to it. I mean, first he had a vision of his wife's car accident, which obviously turned out to be true. Sort of like the one Beverly had of Stan when she was caught in the deadlights. He has been acting a little strange lately but at first I thought it was because of Myra but now I am not so sure. And today he say Pennywise in the mirror and then saw Stan. Honestly I don't knows what else it could be." Mike sighed</p><p> </p><p>"He has been kind of angry lately. Like I know I annoy him purposely but he doesn't get angry like the way he has been getting. I mean he almost threw a plate at me." Richie added.</p><p> </p><p>"Why do you think this is happening?" Ben asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>"Well as Richie said due to the deadlights being in Pennywise it is possible that they have developed parasitic properties and when Pennywise died they looked for the next host, that being Eddie, and now its leaching off of him. Just like every disease has its symptoms so does this." Bill answered.</p><p> </p><p>"Woah... so what should we do now? You think we can get it out of him somehow?" Beverly questioned.</p><p> </p><p>"Honestly your guess is as good as mine. I need some time to look into this whole thing. I think till then we need to keep him as calm as possible, to avoid any problems. I am gonna get my books and check if I can find anything."</p><p> </p><p>"I know this is a bad timing but I need to go back home. I need to be there for Audra. Honestly this pregnancy is such a miracle and I really want to be there..." Bill tried to explain.</p><p> </p><p>"It fine Big Bill. I am here!! You guys can all do your own thing I will keep Eddie occupied. He is anyways looking for jobs and stuff." Richie offered</p><p> </p><p>"I am so sorry Rich, I wish I could stay too, but with me trying final my divorce I will have to get back. I have a meeting with my lawyer." Beverly mutter apologetically.</p><p> </p><p>"I have to get back to work too. I had taken some time off to help out Bev and I have a projects to get to."</p><p> </p><p>Richie just nodded his head in understanding. "Yeah sure, its ok I get it. I will be fine here. Really. But you guys are coming here for his birthday right?" All of them nodded and muttered small yes's.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright then, I don't think there is anything else we can do. Let's get back home tomorrow." Mike stated.</p><p> </p><p>With that all the of them went to their respective rooms to gather anything that had been left out.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had fallen in a dreamless sleep. He didn't know if he preferred the unending darkness that seemed to swallow him or the possible nightmares  that were surely going plague his mind. Eddie heard a familiar chuckle. It was so clear as if the source was right next to his ear. He could feel Pennywise's hot, moist, and stale breath fanning across the side of his face.</p><p>"You are never gonna get rid of me, Eddie" Pennywise whispered sinisterly.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Pennywise place his hand on Eddie's scar on his chest, he woke up with a start. His scar was feeling strangely warm and when he raised his shirt it was not its usual pink colour but it looked red. Eddie couldn't digest the fact that it literally felt like Pennywise was in the room, right next to him. He stood up from the bed to stretch himself out, he winced due to the scar on his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Just then there was a knock on his door. He tried to shake his head to get rid of Pennywise's image and his voice. He pulled open the door of the room to see Richie standing in front of him with his hands shoved inside his pockets.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry for earlier. I- I don't know what happened." Eddie tried to explain. He was so embarrassed due to his melt down earlier. But Richie just grinned and assured him that it was alright and they will figure out what's happening.</p><p> </p><p>"By the way I came was to tell you that you might want to gather your things if you anything lying around we all will have to leave tomorrow. The others have some stuff to get back to. After you are done we are meeting in down in the lobby for dinner." Richie informed his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh umm ok sure." Eddie knew that he couldn't question their decision to go back to their lives. They had finally go the chance to be happy and normal. Eddie, from the bottom of his heart, didn't wish to go back. It felt good going around places without someone watching over everything you do excessively.</p><p> </p><p>He was happy that Myra was no longer there. Just as that thought came in his mind his eye widened. He couldn't believe that he even thought that. Sure Myra was a little overbearing but he had still loved her.</p><p> </p><p>After about thirty minuets all of them took two separate cars to the nearest restaurant. The dinner was actually not awkward at all of them asked if Eddie was feeling better and after he answered with a very convincing yes, they got back to discussing their plans after they get back home.</p><p> </p><p>Bill was talking very excitedly about the fact that he will finally get to be a dad. Beverly commented about how odd it will be to see her husband, Tom, along with Ben while Ben just laughed nervously and said that it will all work out.</p><p> </p><p>Mike told them how he doesn't trust anyone handling his precious books and he will have to go to pack them up all the while Richie joked about every possible situation he could. Eddie looked beside him to see Richie with a wide smile on his place as he listened to Ben trying to explain how much he liked Bev when they were kids and when Richie laughed Eddie's heart skipped a beat.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie would occasionally comment about somethings but he preferred to remain quite most of them, observing his friends and feeling blessed to have them.</p><p> </p><p>The next day all them piled into Ben's jet to take them back to LA. Bill and Mike were busy planning their tickets to home, Ben and Beverly were cuddled up in front of Richie and Eddie while talking about various small things.</p><p> </p><p>Richie would see the small smile Beverly would give Ben whenever he tightened his arm around her and he felt the need to just grab Eddie. He should probably been given a award with how well he coped with everything because his arms remained glued to his side but he couldn't stop himself for looking at Eddie, fondly, when he dozed off.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly noticed the small sign and smiled to herself before cuddling back into Ben's side.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>9th August, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>It had been a week since Richie and Eddie had come back to Richie's home in LA. Eddie had still been furiously looking for a job that was in line with his capabilities and experience. Along with that Eddie had started to look for a apartment for himself. He at first was contemplating to buy a house but remembering that now he was alone he preferred to look for a flat or an apartment building.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie still hadn't told Richie regarding his decision to move. Eddie felt as if he was a burden to Richie and soon Richie will kick him out. It was definitely not true. Richie was beyond the moon to have Eddie with him, in his house. But Pennywise's continuous whispers weren't helping this case at all.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie came home exhausted after a day filled with interviews and then looking at his options concerning his living situation. Since he had been out of the house for quite some time, he decided to roam around LA. By the time he came home Richie and Carol were already back and both were standing in the kitchen cooking.</p><p> </p><p>"Ahh you're back. I was just about to call you." Carol said when she saw Eddie near the entrance of the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Richie turned around, smirked at Eddie and then remarked, "Did you get laid Eds?" Noting Eddie's disheveled appearance.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck! No! I was roaming around in LA, exploring the place." Eddie said looking a little horrified. Richie just hummed and got back to stirring the sauce.</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you go and change and then we can have dinner together." Carol offered.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded and walked upstairs. After changing into more comfortable clothes he walked downstairs while massaging his temples. He could feel another headache coming on.</p><p> </p><p>After a dinner filled with usual conversation and Richie's very frequent offensive jokes that had Eddie clenching his fist tightly over his thigh to stop himself from hurling the glass in front of him, at Richie's stupid face, Eddie dragged himself into his room and collapsed on his bed and shut his eyes.<span class="u"><b></b></span></p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>
      <em>*******</em>
    </b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. I can't kill Richie, I love him.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Another nightmare plagues Eddie but this time he will do anything to stop its event from occurring.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Still trying to write as much as we can so I hope this was okay. I'll be trying to update whenever I can! -Saf..</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <b>Shoulder to Shoulder by Tate McRae</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>--------------------</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>10th August 2016</b>
  </em>
</p><p>Some time in the middle of night Eddie had dozed off after tossing around for a while. His constant headaches were getting to him. He had become crankier than ever before. But when he had finally exhausted himself enough to sleep, nightmares plagued his mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>********</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Eds I have a show today. I even got you a front-seat ticket. Think you can come?" Richie asked Eddie in a hurry.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Definitely... If only it was funny I'd enjoy it, which is why I'm grabbing my charger, can't have it die in the middle of your ridiculous acts. Need a distraction." Eddie answers with a genuine smirk across his face.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Get the fuck outta here! You are the bigger dick."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Bet you stared at it." Eddie laughs out loud as Richie eyes him with a "are-you-fucking-serious-I-hate-you-so-much-you-godforsaken-jerk" look.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie swiftly turns around, swings his arm behind, flips him off, and stomps away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*The dream transitions to Richie's show, which is halfway through and Eddie is genuinely bored out of his mind as he scrolls through Tumblr (yes Tumblr) for the 100th time.*</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"So last night I was up late so I decided to google shit.. found a porn website called 'brazzers' and thought..' quite convenient because you can type the name with just one fucking hand!" Richie says in a high voice and laughter explodes all through the auditorium whereas Eddie just rolls his eyes in disbelief.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The laughter continues to echo until it swiftly turns into gasps and a loud thud- clunk- zap.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Eddie takes his eyes off his phone to see the huge light equipment fallen on the stage where Richie was stood. Right where he stood.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>People were rushing to the stage and chaos broke out-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*Transitions to someone informing Eddie and Carol *</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"We managed to get the equipment off of him as soon as we could- he has passed away...we checked the pulses and everything and called an ambulance too... So sorry-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"W-what, fuck no...he c-couldn't have." Eddie manages to push down the huge lump in his throat.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Carol breaks out in tears and just then-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>************</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie's eyes fly open as he heavily breathes out in panic and some sort of relief that all of that was not real. But he feels something tug in his chest as he recalls a familiar kind of dream, so clear and so neat and properly formed. Myra's accident... it was the same. It was the same heart-wrenching, uncomfortable feeling as the one he felt on that night.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie tries to calm his unsteady heart down by grabbing the old, uncovered glass of water kept on his bedside table, he hurriedly gulped it down and felt his cheeks warm up from fear.</p><p> </p><p>'What if it happens to him too. Am I doing this? It has to be I always fuck up-, I can't lose him, I can't kill Richie, I<em> love</em> him, as a friend of course... not that there is anything else- no Eds this is not the fucking <em>time.</em>" Eddie tells himself in a chaotic hurry.</p><p> </p><p>He picks his phone up to check the time recognizing that it was the same as the time he had the dream about Myra- fuck fuCK FUCKKKKK- His mind was a mess and he felt more uneasy minute by minute so he stayed awake all night walking around his room, cradling himself on the bed, pulling his 'already not enough' hair out, continuously checking his phone, and simply wanting to disintegrate.</p><p> </p><p>His mind was running a thousand miles an hour as he thought about all that could go wrong. He had almost went to Richie's bedroom twice since he had woken up but he managed to stop himself from disturbing his sleep.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as sunlight starting pouring into his room he jumped out of his messy sheets and hastily walked down to the living room hoping to see Richie and Carol awake to warn Richie about everything.</p><p> </p><p>"Eyo Eddie-Spaghetti! Morning sunshine." Richie waves lousily while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and Carol was nowhere to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>"Richie thank fucking God you are here- Oh god-" He cries out and pulls him into a deep and tired embrace. Richie stands there, confused, and then slowly wraps his arm around the man he loves' waist. </p><p> </p><p>"You okay there Eddie?" Richie askes with sleep and concern lacing his voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Y-yeah I just- just stay here okay! And it isn't up for a discussion. Just fucking stay." Eddie demands.</p><p> </p><p>Richie's eyes widened. He hadn't even said anything about going anywhere. He had absolutely no idea how had Eddie found out that he had a show. Richie had got a call this morning for a last minute event.</p><p> </p><p>"I have a last-minute event that I'm opening up for Eds- gotta be there, it's of a friend that too-" Richie explains.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie groaned loudly, grabbed Richie's arm and forced him down on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry, Eduardo I'm not into lap dances early in the morning." Richie commented with a lazy grin on his face</p><p> </p><p>"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." </p><p> </p><p>"I don't have the time EDDIE! Carol will stab me in my sleep because of you!" Richie went on trying to explain.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck you, I'll speak fast, just listen to me 'kay?" Eddie demanded Richie.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay." Richie groans.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie hurriedly explains that nerve-wracking dream that he just had, and then moves on to explain how realistic and similar it seemed to that of the one he had of his wife's accident.</p><p> </p><p>All the while as he explained Richie's eyes widened and Eddie shook where he sat. The feeling of dread and worry and fear was palpable in the room. Just as he finished explaining Carol walked down completely dressed up in her work clothes.</p><p> </p><p>"What the hell Richie? Why aren't you ready yet? We are gonna get late." Carol said when she saw Richie just sitting on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Instead of answering Carol, Richie looks at the shocked expression and analyses his best friend's concern to come to the conclusion of canceling it.</p><p> </p><p>"Carol, babe, cancel the show today. Tell them that an emergency has come up or make some excuse. I am not going to perform today. Anyways they are giving me that notice at the last minute I can not come up with shit this quick." Richie said to Carol.</p><p> </p><p>"What!!??? You can't do that Richie. I already agreed now I can't pull out last minute. What the hell even happened?" Carol asked when she noticed the serious look on Richie's face.</p><p> </p><p>"I will explain later. Just cancel it Carol, please." Richie begged. Carol sighed loudly and decided to cancel it because she knew that whatever had happened must be serious or else Richie wouldn't have canceled the show at all."</p><p> </p><p>"Fine I will do it but you are giving the public apology."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah I will." Richie agreed, silently grateful for how understanding Carol was being.</p><p> </p><p>Richie had no idea what was going on and Eddie was terrified of being near anyone. He felt responsible for Myra's accident, even though the others had tried on multiple occasion to convince him otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was glad that he had been looking for apartments. He assumed that if he disappeared from all their lives maybe all the bad things will stop happening. Eddie had finally come down to three apartments and was now trying to decide which one should he go for. All he knew was that he had to get away from his friends as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>Richie, oblivious to Eddie's plan, knew that something was getting worse for Eddie, perhaps, something inside of him..?</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>*******</b>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Thought we already knew that we were 'losers'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Water fights, worries and weirdos.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another new chapter. So from now onwards there is going to be updates but they ae going to be random and not have a proper time line. We will try to update as an when we can.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Losers by Chosen Jacobs</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>15th August, 2016</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>
      <br/>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>Eddie's paranoia seemed to be increasing more, minute by minute. He couldn't stop thinking about all of the incidents from every dream he ever had that he could remember, hoping that there aren't any chances of someone else dying.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he won't be able to live with himself if anything were to happen with anyone he loved. </p><p> </p><p>He even gave up on job hunting at this point, seemed useless, from all this mess in his head. He simply couldn't get himself to clear it out for even a second to just sit down and fill out a single application.</p><p> </p><p>Around night time, after dinner, Eddie grabbed the plates and other utensils and headed to the kitchen to wash up, Richie followed.</p><p> </p><p>"So... got any job yet Eds? Another boring analyzing shit??," Richie asked, looking around trying to find something to help Eddie with as he washed the dishes.</p><p> </p><p>"No, I'm really fucking done with everything man. Way too stressed out lately." Eddie replied while sighing and continued scrubbing the plate in his hands. </p><p> </p><p>"Wow- okay.. you do you Eds.. just know your very hard-working friend is always here paying your bills bud!" Richie said. He had said it as a joke trying to lighten the mood a little.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck- I'm so sorry Rich.. I'll get a job and move out as soon as I get my shit together, sorry...really-" Eddie spoke but got cut off.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey no- it's alright.. just chill. I'm anyways all alone in this house with only Freddy Krueger and Casper's bastard child A.K.A Carol. Somebody's gotta use up my money now right! No kids, no gold-digging wife...nothing- when are you gonna start taking advantage of your rich friend. Call me a 'sugar buddy'." Richie said with a proud smile.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie chuckled and splattered some water over Richie which eventually turned into a water fight. All smiles, laughter, and a perfect moment where the pair forgot about all that creepy worry-filled shit. </p><p> </p><p>Richie looked at Eddie with a grin on his face and splashed some water all over Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>"I hate you both SO FUCKING MUCH!" Yelled Carol, raging into the kitchen pulling them apart.</p><p> </p><p>"Can't you just shut up and go to sleep, act like adults- I know you missed out on like 30 years but I. DONT. GIVE. A FUCK! I need sleep and so do both of you! so shut up..and go upstairs."</p><p> </p><p>The two didn't have the balls to say another word so they rushed out almost slipping due to the wet floor. While rushing upstairs Eddie grabbed onto Richie's sleeve to stop him. Richie turned around with a questioning look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Can I sleep with you?" Eddie asked nervously. </p><p> </p><p>"uh......okay?" Richie replied, confused, freaked out, and filled with "teenager-y" feelings.</p><p> </p><p>"I-... I'm just tensed. Just be with me will ya?" Eddie tried to sound monotonous.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah.. Of course. You can hop in my bed. Weird for two adults to share a bed though man, but um.. okay sure."</p><p> </p><p>"You call yourself an adult and then go ahead and act like a hormonal teenager who just turned 14."</p><p> </p><p>"Ha Ha..very funny Eds-" Richie rolled his eyes and continued walking upstairs after Eddie let go of him.</p><p>******************************</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rolled around the bed trying to find a way to fall asleep. Richie, Richie's hideous hair, his stupid grin... just this. Spinning around and round his head. Why the hell do these thoughts have to trouble him at this moment itself. When the idiot is right next to him.</p><p> </p><p>His thoughts paused when they got interrupted by the constant buzz of notifications. Annoyed, he grabbed the phone near Richie's pillow which wasn't shutting up any time soon.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*You have 23 messages from</em>
  <b> Losers Club 5/7*</b>
</p><p> </p><p>'5/7' Eddie thought...what the fuck- The dickheads have a group chat without him!!?? hurts-</p><p> </p><p>He opened it out of curiosity, low-key feeling like a snoopy partner but also telling himself that it's alright.</p><p>************</p><p>11:54 pm</p><p><b>Eyo dickwads</b>.. <b>Update on Ededs</b>..</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> anybody alive??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>UH OKAY Just me then </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I'll just type it all out so ya'll can see it later.</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I</b>
  <b>m sleepy af</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sooo Ed got a dream of me dying I guess and he freaked out and didn't let me go for work and he's also being clingy af.. not that I'm complaining but FFS..on top of that he seems very fucking paranoid 'bout lord knows what.. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>MIKEYYY You got anything yet??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bye Im sleeping-</b>
</p><p>12:15</p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one):  </em>
  <b>WAIT WTF- like the one he got of Myra??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>nO WAY- You okay tho right</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BeN HANS'cum' : </em>
  <b>no shit he's okay Bill..how else would he be alive and texting?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>You're starting to remind me of stan </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>SMH</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>Can you guys focus on what Rich just said, Ed is probably losing his mind over all of this and so is Rich.. annnddd</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>Mike was on a call with me yesterday, said that he has some theories he wants to tell us..</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>let's wait for Mike to come online...and aren't you guys supposed to be asleep..its probably 12 in the night for you..</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BeN HANS'cum' :</em>
  <b> Couldn't sleep.. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>Yup</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD:</em>
  <b> Or you both just decided to take a break from the fucking..</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BeN HANS'cum' : </em>
  <b>Anddd you remind me of Rich.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That Librarian dude Mic: </em>
  <b>I'm heree- soo I might have an idea about what's happening..can we all meet up ?? Alot to unravel... kinda crazy..</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>I feel like we should've just stayed with Rich instead of coming back home.. lmao</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>FLIGHT TICKETS FROM EUROPE ALL THE WAY THERE ARE EXPENSIVE MAN-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That Librarian dude Mic: </em>
  <b>And you're rich af Bill... so let's all meet up at Rich's as soon as possible??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>Omfg ok.. Audrey will stab me...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>Fun fact- pregnant women are violent sometimes.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>Too bad.. and Mike.. this better be good.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That Librarian dude Mic: </em>
  <b>Its mind-blowing.. I swear... now good night... my head's spinning.. we really are fucking losers is the conclusion of my research which Ill spill soon... byeee</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BILLIUS BUTTHEAD: </em>
  <b>Thought we already knew that we were 'losers'.. but well.. okay.. bye!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Beaverly (the red one): </em>
  <b>Byee</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>BeN HANS'cum' : F</em>
  <b>arewelll... </b>
</p><p>
  <b>*************************</b>
</p><p> </p><p>"Fucker.." Eddie whispered to himself as he scrolled up seeing that all they talked about on this group chat was Eddie...just "Eddie Updates". Sweet to see his friends concerned but so fucking infuriating to be looked at as a fucked up 4-year-old or a lab rat.</p><p> </p><p>'Okay but the names Rich saved-' he thought, smiling widely and shaking his head. The idiot sure does always know how to be the master of dumb-fucks.</p><p> </p><p>Guess he'll end up seeing his friends all over again. Yes, he's worried about himself too.. it's probably just trauma, or like PTSD at the worst... not a whole '''we're in a horror movie''' situation.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie switched off the phone and rolled back over his stomach. He was finding it really hard to go to sleep. He knew he was exhausted but he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. </p><p> </p><p>By now he tried every possible position to sleep in but no avail he was wide awake. He Turned around and faced the back of Richie's head and he could remember sleepovers with the all the Losers. and with those memories plaguing his mind he dozed off.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>***********</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. I would stab you if I could</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reminiscing the past and exploring Eddie’s feelings more deeply. While his mind wanders off to the past.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <b>Beautiful Boy </b>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>by John Lennon</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>--------------------------------------------------------------</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>3rd September, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>The days seemed slow, painfully slow. With Eddie being frustrated, lost, confused, and agitated 24/7 it was hard to get himself to work in any sort of way. Just staring at nothing while his mind raced with utter bullshit.</p><p> </p><p>The bullshit being... that one particular thing he desperately wants to shut out. That one feeling that makes his entire body ache in absurd places, his chest, exactly where his heart is. Exactly where someone else is living. Shouldn’t he still be dissolved by the pain of losing his wife who passed away not even a year back? shouldn’t he be mourning throughout the day for her and crying all night for her comfort? but, instead. It’s all just that one godforsaken feeling he can’t shake off-</p><p> </p><p>Desire, love, and want. For that one shithead. Richard Tozier.</p><p> </p><p>Why the fuck did all of this make up its mind to taunt Eddie out of nowhere.. why is it still taunting him, 29 years after the crush developed and 25 since it disappeared. And now, here it is. Back again to haunt him just like that clown had.</p><p> </p><p>It was only just the crack of dawn when the usual chaos re-entered his restless, racing mind. Too early for this to disturb Eddie. But, unfortunately enough, he was starting to get used to it. It bothers him and a part of him keeps saying “Just get the fuck over it!” but it’s hard.. he can’t. He can’t just ‘not’ think about Richie.</p><p> </p><p>Richie and his hair, his face, his idiot glasses, his indecent jokes, literally every single thing. Oh but that smile, that up to no good smile which shows up right before a dirty joke or a tease, the way his lips look like the sweetest drops of honey with the exact color of cherry, and that ever-lasting awkwardness.</p><p> </p><p>His mind went tumbling back to when they were younger... when things seemed slightly easier yet equally a blunder.</p><p> </p><p>**Flashback to Monsoon of 1990**</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Eduardo you have to fucking move- we’ll break the hammock!“, cries Richie with annoyance.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Shut up Rich- I told you! your 20 minutes are up - my turn now!!” Eddie says trying to shove Richie off, who had been hogging the hammock for more than half an hour.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie grabbed onto Eddie’s ankle trying to stop his kicking.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Eddie was even more annoyed because the other Losers bailed on them. Bill already moved away, Beverly was off with her aunt, Ben was busy getting ready for a move, Stanley was forced to stay at home by his mother because sOmEOne *Richie, yes* got caught using coarse language around Stan even after his mom had complained to Maggie Tozier, and Mike was again stuck at the farm with his grandfather as he was being “punished” for not attending to the farm during the summer.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Poor Eds got stuck with the last person he wanted to be alone with. Not because of any rage or issues against him but just because of the “issues” with himself. He couldn’t stand it. All the chaotic thoughts of “what would happen if I..” or “what if..” spun around his brain causing an entire storm within a tempest.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They were alone, just the two of them stuck with each other in the clubhouse. With anything possible. What if Eddie suddenly kissed him? What if Eddie, out of nowhere, admits to having the most outrageous feelings for him? What if Richie actually hates him? What if he troubles Eddie the most only because Eddie is the worst? okay okay stop, he says to himself every single minute.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“You know what- let us both just lie on the floor instead... because if this hammock breaks, the whole thing will fall on us and we’ll be buried alive.“, Suggests Richie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Fuck you....you can lie on the ground, I’m taking the hammock. It is my turn.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I would stab you if I could. Fine whatever..”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Richie grabs the comics spread over his chest and lies down on the dusty ground, right next to the hammock.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In a spur of the moment, something hits him and he pulls Eddie down playfully, He falls next to Richie almost yelling. Richie starts tickling him. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, of course, he too started to attack Richie with the tickles and before the laughter and thrill died out, Eddie’s hand hit the hammock whose cotton sheets fell over the two. A beat. A pause of laughter. And they fell next to each other, pulled off the sheets, and burst into never-ending hysterics.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That single moment felt awfully personal. Lying there with Richie as they heard the rain start to fall. Everything was a melody. Richie’s laughter along with the rain. Although it felt dark and gloomy together. Kind of grim. Richie’s laughter was like a reminder of Eddie’s surging liking towards him and the rain falling outside being the reminder of the sad truth that at the end of the day, it was not valid to him or the world. It was a matter of apparent illness or the devil.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The rain was pouring down hard, silencing his laughs. Thinking about it all together started to frustrate him so much that he tears almost welled from deep inside, like a warning that in the end, it’s you who will be hurt and aggrieved.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>***back to the present***</p><p> </p><p>Stop. He says to himself for the billionth time. Shaking his head and trying to swat away the memories that tugged at his heart. He’s a grown-ass man. He needs to deal with it all. But how? was his entire life just a joke and a lie he said to himself. That he’ll manage. If he married a woman who was the replica of another woman who tormented him throughout his childhood, who, keeping it all aside, he still loved.</p><p> </p><p>Something has to be done, would Richie understand if he got it off of his chest? or would he dislike him even more? is he doing all this for Eddie out of humanity? Or does he feel something too? ‘wait. Of course not’ he thinks.</p><p> </p><p>Time to shut up and go downstairs. It’s his goddamn birthday for fuck’s sake. And his friends are down there waiting too.</p><p>
  <b>******</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. A walking talking ball of rainbow and bastard-ness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A shift in mood is present in the air and Eddie hears something he wasn't supposed to.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>-----------------------------------</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>3rd September, 2016</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"There he is!", Eddie heard the voice of his friend, Bill, as he came down the stairs with lazy footsteps.</p><p> </p><p>The Losers finally came into his view, their faces were lit with smiles and kind eyes. Comfort spread through him. He felt home in their presence by just having a look at them. After so much of the chaos in his life, they were the only cozy chaos he'd let through into his head. About time he put on a smile too... So he went on ahead and pulled each of them into an embrace as they wished him.</p><p>*******</p><p> </p><p>Richie himself was bursting with joy as he finally saw Eddie showing an emotion other than dull gloominess at that time of the day. It was his fucking birthday- and now it felt like its Richie's job to make him smile all throughout the day. </p><p> </p><p>Another thing on his mind was what Mike had to tell, his great, big "theory" of what happened that horrifying day and whatever the hell is happening now to his love.</p><p> </p><p>The Losers had all got Eddie, small things... Bev got a book that the two had been talking about a week back. Ben got him a wristwatch which was worth more than a whole paint job in a house but he was clearly not admitting to crossing the budget of gifts that Eddie had mentioned. Bill had got him a fanny pack as a joke, Mike got a collection of comics which the Losers used to obsessively collect during their preteen years, and Richie, that idiot...  got him a-</p><p> </p><p>"No fucking way Rich- what the hell- shut up. NO NO- oh my GoD-" Eddie said as his face lit up when he heard a soft whimper inside a box with holes in it.</p><p> </p><p>He carefully took it from Richie's hands and sat on the couch, placing the cardboard box on the glass coffee table. He opened it with the excitement and hurry of a toddler. The huge grin continued to remain plastered on his face.</p><p> </p><p>He finally opened the flaps of the box to reveal to himself a tiny puppy. Who's pink tongue was hanging out and it was trying to jump out of the box which was too big for it to hop out of. Its little brown eyes were almost blinded by its luscious coat of golden locks.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie helped it out and let it sit on his lap. "Richard Tozier- I'm in love with you man-" Eddie said almost screaming with all the energy exploding inside him like fireworks, still lost in with the dog. </p><p>The labradoodle was jumping up and down with excitement in Eddie's lap, licking his face with love. Richie felt his insides explode with complete love and screams because that friend of his was 'just so fucking adorable all over'.</p><p> </p><p>The day went by calmly with the 6 of them talking for hours on end, yet, Mike hadn't come to the topic of what he wanted to discuss about all of the mess of right now and whatever the fuck happened that day at the Neibolt house. </p><p> </p><p>After dinner, the Losers were seated on the couch eating a large bowl of ice cream each, they were finally joined by Carol who was out working during the day. Beverly and she discussed how perverted and flirty Richie was when they were younger (in, of course, a humorous I'm-Just-Trying-To-Annoy-You way). Ben was sitting in his corner talking to Mike, while Bill, Richie, and Eddie discussed names for the new member at Richie's house.</p><p> </p><p>"Look, be creative Eds- I don't wanna call the dog some shit name like fucking Joe or Bob or Fred.", Richie says, agitated, when Eddie said that he won't let anyone else name his new obsession. An obsession he wanted to own ever since he was 10.</p><p> </p><p>"Rich, why- in the name of fuck- would he name him Bob.. are you high on grass again?", comments Bill.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah no shit, I have the most perfect idea! very deep and meaningful that too.", Eddie said patiently, keeping his cool.</p><p> </p><p>After a pause, "Stan."</p><p> </p><p>"You made our friend a dog. Ah if only Staniel was here to know that you named a labradoodle after him", Richie retorts</p><p> </p><p>"He's got light curly fur, and is fucking perfect and doesn't like being close to you, which is why he is basically Stan." Eddie says.</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm, understandable." Bill nods his head.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie still could not stop smiling. He missed Stanley Uris so fucking much, especially when he was around the others. His absence felt like the heaviest weight and after all of the shit that happened at Stanley's house, He was way too shaken and remorseful. And having someone named after him just felt right.</p><p> </p><p>Carol had gone back upstairs to sleep as she had to wake up early the next day as it was her turn to take the kids out.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, I think its about time I explain to you guys what I might have just figured out. You know, about the whole situation of 'that' day.", Mike says as he places his bowl back on the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>The people in the room turn their attention to him as responds of 'yes' come storming in.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay so one of you bozos got the wrong token. And also we are all idiots. Like real fucking idiots.", Mike Begins.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow buddy- harsh..", Says Richie pretending to show hurt ,"I bet the bozo was Eddie HA!"</p><p> </p><p>Eddie glares at Richie while softly petting his pup.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, no.. it was you. why the fuck did you get that coin from the arcade dumbass- did you even think it through.", Mick says.</p><p> </p><p>"Man what the fuck, when did you get mean?-", Rich says, slightly taken aback. "-And I don't know. It just seemed right."</p><p> </p><p>"Well what was his token then? Because we did kill that clown in the end", questions Beverly.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know why that was his token but it just was.. and I probably shouldn't tell it yet. Here's what we were supposed to do while getting our token. The whole Ritual of Chud apparently demands the process of getting over something that haunted and troubled you. So not only did we have to destroy the tokens in a physical sense but also in a symbolic sense.. And we all did the opposite didn't we?. So- sorry I know I'm kinda bad at explaining but.. at the Neibolt house we were all forced to face our issues, very directly that too.. Richie did lord knows what during facing his issues.. like why the fuck did you even go to the arcade man."</p><p> </p><p>"Mike why the fuck are you behind my ass?" Richie says taking offense.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, I'll say it. As I said, you got the wrong token. And I know that because the ritual of course didn't work cause you didn't sacrifice the token, and when you were bullying that jerk with the bullshit before the deadlights happen, he wasn't affected. So, your token was- Um.. quite ironic honestly considering what you'd said that time when we were in the clubhouse"</p><p> </p><p>"What is it?", Asks Bill impatiently.</p><p> </p><p>"Who is it. Eddie. Yeah that was Richie's token", Mike says looking away.</p><p> </p><p>"Dude, what the fuck?" Eddie looks straight at Richie in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait what? And how can you even justify your dumb theory.", Richie says quickly.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh. So after Eddie, um, 'died' we bullied the fucker and he deflated ya' know."</p><p> </p><p>"And what about the getting over the past part of this" Ben enquires.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know, guess that's for Richie to answer."</p><p> </p><p>"WHat- I.. I don't know whatever the fuck you're talking about." Richie lies.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Pennywise killed himself indirectly?", asks Beverly</p><p> </p><p>"Sure did, I suppose" Bill answers </p><p> </p><p>"Okay fuck it. here's the other part of it. What happened is that after Eddie 'died' the deadlights still lived, but pennywise didn't. And as I had said, they held onto Eddie. And now I have absolutely no idea why, but again, I have a theory. Eddie-"</p><p> </p><p>He turns to look at Eddie who was intently staring at the carpet. "-Get over whatever the fuck is haunting you from your past. That's all I guess." Mike ends, exhaling loudly. </p><p> </p><p>The room felt more silent than usual.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh. Fuck.. sorry Eds.. I think you died because of me, which you kind of did- cause y'know. You were trying t-" Rich says trying not to meet anyone's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, its okay. Me dying killed pennywise at least.", Eddie says looking up at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Um, why don't we all just take a minute and process all of this huh?", Ben suggests as he stands up.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah, a little thinking would do us good. I'm going to go keep these bowls in the kitchen", Eddie grabs the bowls and stack them on top of each other.</p><p> </p><p>"Yup, Richie.. smoke?", Bev asks. Richie nods, still looking down.</p><p> </p><p>"Ben, Mike, Eddie.. lets go have a walk outside. Rich does have a cool house huh." </p><p> </p><p>"Sure I'll just be back." Eddie goes to the kitchen to keep the bowls.</p><p> </p><p>Richie and Beverly headed upstairs. As the two looked over at the view of Los Angeles, Richie pulled out two cigarettes and a lighter out. He handed one of them to Bev and lit it.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Eddie was your token huh." Says Beverly gazing at the darkened sky.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, it makes sense."</p><p> </p><p>"Wanna say anything else 'Chee"</p><p> </p><p>"I-"</p><p> </p><p>"No one to judge you here, you know that." Beverly slides her hand over his.</p><p> </p><p>"Kinda loved him since forever"</p><p> </p><p>"No shit", She laughs a little.</p><p> </p><p>"That obvious?"</p><p> </p><p>"Always has been, to me at least. You were different with him, like much more different than you were with the other guys."</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck- I hated myself for it. Its easier now, after I forgot him it was all easy and then he came back in my life and it was a rollercoaster of emotions all over again." Said Richie as his voice broke a little.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, its alright. I get it. Must be hard especially considering the fact that it was the 80s.. and we all know that Derry is even worse."</p><p> </p><p>Richie lousily nodded his head.</p><p> </p><p>"Good to be gay now" Richie said as his sniffle got followed by a laughter.</p><p> </p><p>Beverly smiled as she shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>"You really are something Richie Tozier."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh I know, a walking talking ball of rainbow and bastard-ness"</p><p> </p><p>"Accurate."</p><p>****</p><p> </p><p>Eddie did not just hear that- what the actual fuck.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>**********</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>